Seeking Peace

Tempting to turn a short chores list into a big To-Do list, including a run, which after yesterday's long one, would have been imprudent. I essentially morphed 2 loops into one; heading south and along Arthur, up through the Seminoles past 441, then north to Griffin and around....I would estimate 10-12 miles easy. The problem, was after several weeks of relatively pain-free running, I had periodic cramping in my right leg, source of so many historic problems. I was about half-way through when it started, and I was so determined to do what I set out for, that I did not shorten the run. The cramping got worse as I went, but mysteriously, as often happens, the very last segment, the stretch on Park, was better. I would have liked to bring the total week's mileage up, with another run today, but I need to be careful- why push?

I have been on the hamster wheel, as my client calls it, for long enough to earn a day completely 'off'... out of the car, the traffic, stores, buying and consuming, and yes, training. (Although I did exercise with weights, etc...if it ain't out on the road, I don't seem to count it...) My usual resiliency, which had served me so well through the summer's stress, seems to be deflating. Between the winds of change all over the world and the burdens with the folks, work, and forever calculating care for myself, it is finally beginning to take a toll. The canopy of gray cloud cover sealed the deal today. There was nothing enticing me out for any good reason. I've slept in for a change, accomplished the chores list, and even painted. (When will this piece get done??) I'm completely content to roll around the floor for more 'nothing' tonight.

I am seeking peace amidst fervor and intensity, yes, some of it mine. A regular run, a good night's sleep. Dreams which are not prophetic or prescient in any form. Calls without drama. Willing clients. Stable parents.

I am seeking that thin line between active and passive which brings awareness of potential action and response.

I am seeking oblivion from worry.

I am willing to wait, and pray and leap into white holes of sky where clouds part, and the road to tomorrow is preparing.