"My call for a spiritual revolution is thus not a call for a religious revolution. Nor is it a reference to a way of life that is somehow other-worldly, still less to something magical or mysterious. Rather, it is a call for a radical re-orientation away from our habitual preoccupation with self towards concern for the wider community of beings with whom we are connected, and for conduct which recognizes others’ interests alongside our own."

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

The Open Road

"Passion is pushing myself when there is no one else around - just me and the road."

-RYAN SHAY

My tough day yesterday slid into dream-filled hours of anticipation, waiting for today's chance to run. Thanks to Keith, who simply said in so many words "...bring it on!" in regards to weather conditions (and who bikes literally everywhere!) I decided not to woose out. So with an extra rain layer, and the ipod tucked away from the elements, off I went, blissfully out on the open road again.

It never did rain, but it was one of those under water type experiences, the air so dense with moisture, the gray clouds so low and heavy, water in all the potholes, curbs and swells...feels more like swimming than running. I was tense, groggy, and tired. I seem to be going through a strain that's hard to unravel from a physical or emotional level. My instinct is to stick with routine to create endurance. And this weekend, try another longer, long run.

Making a stand to grab the future, in the face of opposition, oppression, ignorance or other obstacles, to stay with passion and purpose is never an easy road. The resilience needed to go deep, go it alone, and find solace in a still, inner silence is created from discipline. Running was the Way, for me. Sure I had other paths, and they brought me through the raging torrents and volcanoes of my past. But these days, it's the steady approach of long miles that seems to settle me down and sort me out, keep me in touch with wider forces and strong enough to endure the times as they constantly shift and change.

Where are you, when no one is looking? What piece of earth has fallen under your feet? Which angels are holding you up as you watch your footing, stumbling along in the dark? I make my peace, day by day, with the very air. There is a new road waiting at the end of dreams, itself another dream.

Or Perhaps a Past life

"The desire to run comes from deep within us - from the unconscious, the instinctive, the intuitive."

-GEORGE SHEEHAN

It rained buckets last night, and threatened more once I was up, so I took my miles to the gym and the treadmill. Over an hour, over 6 miles, hard to estimate how it stacks to a road loop, since the readings are based on other settings, etc. But it was probably a good idea, got that twitch in my right hip towards the end, and thought, well lesser miles maybe a good idea...

I hate the gym....(sorry, Golds)...it's either TV, music blaring (not mine), people talking/shouting (the guy next to me had to holler out to everyone it seemed...), mirrors (yes, I know what those legs look like...), the readings on the control panel, and no where anything that corresponds to the run. Every time I run at the gym I am reminded all over again of why the run is an exciting, challenging and beautiful experience, OUTDOORS! I don't think it even rained this morning....but I was caught out on my long run Saturday, soaked with a mile or 2 left on that long loop. So with sinuses kicking up, I took the chance to avoid more rain...and got artificial running instead.

The impact of space/time and it's weird laws on our daily life has got to be impressive, and way beyond our comprehension. We may pick up pieces of a steady compulsion with origins esoteric to be sure. Whether we act on any impulse seems random at best. But once in a while something seems to descend on us like a mission, and we are taken up with purpose and passion. I like to imagine my many lives layering themselves in a fluid stream of influence. I'd like to think that just when I can't grasp a way forward, something bumps up from another plane of reality that nudges me safely on. It's wild to remember how much I wasn't a runner for so long, and how much I rely on it now to ground me through each permutation of myself.

New world record for Gebrselassie

Haile Gebrselassie with Berlin 'fun' runners
Gebrselassie mixed with amateur runners in Berlin before the race

Haile Gebrselassie broke his own world record as he won the Berlin Marathon for the third time in a row.

The 35-year-old Ethiopian became the first man to run under two hours, four minutes as he clocked 2:03:59.

Seeking Peace

Tempting to turn a short chores list into a big To-Do list, including a run, which after yesterday's long one, would have been imprudent. I essentially morphed 2 loops into one; heading south and along Arthur, up through the Seminoles past 441, then north to Griffin and around....I would estimate 10-12 miles easy. The problem, was after several weeks of relatively pain-free running, I had periodic cramping in my right leg, source of so many historic problems. I was about half-way through when it started, and I was so determined to do what I set out for, that I did not shorten the run. The cramping got worse as I went, but mysteriously, as often happens, the very last segment, the stretch on Park, was better. I would have liked to bring the total week's mileage up, with another run today, but I need to be careful- why push?

I have been on the hamster wheel, as my client calls it, for long enough to earn a day completely 'off'... out of the car, the traffic, stores, buying and consuming, and yes, training. (Although I did exercise with weights, etc...if it ain't out on the road, I don't seem to count it...) My usual resiliency, which had served me so well through the summer's stress, seems to be deflating. Between the winds of change all over the world and the burdens with the folks, work, and forever calculating care for myself, it is finally beginning to take a toll. The canopy of gray cloud cover sealed the deal today. There was nothing enticing me out for any good reason. I've slept in for a change, accomplished the chores list, and even painted. (When will this piece get done??) I'm completely content to roll around the floor for more 'nothing' tonight.

I am seeking peace amidst fervor and intensity, yes, some of it mine. A regular run, a good night's sleep. Dreams which are not prophetic or prescient in any form. Calls without drama. Willing clients. Stable parents.

I am seeking that thin line between active and passive which brings awareness of potential action and response.

I am seeking oblivion from worry.

I am willing to wait, and pray and leap into white holes of sky where clouds part, and the road to tomorrow is preparing.

Will it Be Sufficient

No matter what is said or done, will 'the wave' Barack is surfing bring him all the way in? I hate to admit it, but I've snoozed out several times during the debate. We communicate at 6 degrees removed from real exchange. This is 2 poster shots, 2 very long sound bites. In the end, whether white America hears anything remains to be seen.

Navigating Through Difficult Times

"Running is the classical road to self-consciousness, self-awareness, and self-reliance."

-NOEL CARROLL

Taking myself in hand this week, doing everything I can to get organized better at work, learn what I need to stay on top of new demands, keep current with all client craziness, and keeping arm's length from the other crazy-makers. I was out before dawn today, to run the same route as yesterday, this time with no stop and in my Spira's, to give my feet a switch out from the Asics, and to practice greater endurance. So my 8 miler was completely non-stop; even at crossroads, catching all the lights. And hey, drivers...you are bigger than me...pedestrian right of way....if you see a runner, take a second and let them get across...everyone is in a big fat hurry and willing to mow me over...incredible.

The climate of crisis continues worldwide; voices of reason pitted against the Suits once again who attempt more control of our minds and wallets by the minute. Wake up America!! The clock is ticking down. When voting day comes, will you still let old prejudices rule? Or will vision and sanity win the day?? The situation is so fluid, I can feel the shifting like sands under my own feet. When I run, I crave that solidity of my stride as I flop-flop on the roads, the steady footfalls keeping rhythm with my heartbeat, the pulse that underlays every emotion, thought and action. We are fundamental in our make-up, and yet the world would complicate us out of all proportion. Even as we analyze and speculate and conjecture over our every nuanced move, we are fundamentally rhythm in motion. We dance, we speak, we sleep, we dream.
I had Obama in my dreams last night; have I made a connection?? Can I lend a light on a deeper level that adds to his purpose? May the Beneficent Ones see us through to brighter days, even if the darkness looms all around. May we be willing to see the Light.

New Day

"It's very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants to quit."

-GEORGE SHEEHAN

Awake before dawn, I managed enough yoga/stretching before any light came up to help ensure I would start with less stiffness today...and as I began to trot down the sidewalk I was able to witness the amazing bands of deep color that sunrise brought to a new day. I decided to head west on Thomas and therefore add about a mile or so on the Griffin loop, as well as hopefully avoid the traffic at one of the schools on the usual route- it's crazy early in the morning!! Weekend runs are so much more relaxed!
But this was a good strategy overall...just the right length to be challenging, avoided most traffic, and still caught my favorite stretches up to and from Griffin.
The 18 miler must have done me more good than I thought, because I had some decent endurance and a kick or two when called upon. The weather, far from cool at least is not as oppressive. I found myself trying NOT to think about work, or the folks, or the hundred other things on the 'must do' list. And gratefully, blissfully, a few moments of transcending thought while I enjoyed the motion and rhythm of my stride.

It's not an easy time, not for many of us. Whether pressed by material, emotional or physical concerns, we seem to have strayed into the weeds but good. Through no fault of our own, we follow the paths put down by others who came before. It seems it's time to recognize the ruse; we can still choose the path, find the way, walk out of wandering into purpose, any time we feel ready.

I am ready for a New Day.

Sunday run- longest this season

"I can't get a therapy appointment round the clock, so I had better invest in some friends that won't tire of me telling them that my thoughts are turning to mush again."

-from Beliefnet: 12 ways to keep going

I'm sure I was hugely over-confident, coming off the stress of last week and cramming Saturday chores and visits into the first half of the weekend. But I felt determined to reach beyond the half-mary long distances, and headed to Cooper City which is a pit-stop going into an 18 miler. I haven't done this distance for a long time, and leaving that Publix stop I had my doubts about whether I should go for it, since by now it was already unbelievably hot, and my legs felt like rubber bands...but hey, I'm here, I thought, the worse that can happen is I walk parts of it. So off I trotted....

...Past Brian Piccilo Park, making the turn south to Taft and taking that stretch to University and my second major stop. Lots of gatorade, then the stretch east, which I altered to take me back up to Sheridan so I could stop at John Williams park before the very last stretch home.

I'm embarrassed to report it was a 4 hour ordeal. I figure I can take about a half hour or so out of the time for the pit stops. But here's where I had to give myself credit where credit is due. I did not walk any of it. In fact, during the stretch to University which is about where I die down, I felt like I kept up a pretty good rhythm. And even coming home, until the very last I managed to keep focus. All this in high 80's, low 90's heat. All this from an older middle aged wanna be who never ran a block before 5 years ago, or whenever I actually began. So even with all the temptation to beat myself up, the run did that for me....I not only survived, I triumphed, I endured...and I had plenty of time to think about the need to translate all of that into navigating the current changes.

I have had a very difficult go of it, summarized in this whole experience. And I haven't felt like talking about it. Supervision was one 'structured' outlet, and it was good. But when I find myself in the Silence, I know it's about self-preservation, and the need to dig deeper and deeper to find the resiliency necessary....if I can do it out on that massive trek yesterday, then I can do it- period. Friends and supporters, find patience with your humble sojourner, and send me your love and light. I will find a way to you, I will keep you tucked into my pockets. I am amplifying my own light, such as it is, so that we will find each other, no matter what. And even far away, you are always near.

Thanks, Perry

"The world is not to be put in order; the world is order, incarnate. It is for us to harmonize with this order." - Henry Miller

Magic and Mindfulness, even with

"For me, running is a lifestyle and an art. I'm more interested in the magic of it than the mechanics."

-LORRAINE MOLLER, Four-time New Zealand Olympian

I stuck to my guns and did the Griffin loop this morning, hoping that 7 miles would set me up for the day ahead of more responsibility and obligations. I dreamt last night of another move and another renovatable place with a family (mine?) and out back some sort of pool or pond or body of water that had the characteristics of a hot spring, bubbling up in the middle. I remember late in the plot I took a dive into it and did not surface immediately no matter how much I swam up....for a brief moment I remember thinking, deeper than it looks, where's the surface? then broke the surface for air. oh yes, and where will the washer and dryer go? was another concern.....

So there is a need to focus on staying near the means to keep clean and clear. To trust that I will land where I need to be with what I need to get the job done. I fell this morning, tripping on the sidewalk while thinking too far ahead to whether I was stopping for water, and immediately knew I should have been focused on where I was in the moment. All week I have been just trying to make it through the mound of items on a to-do list that mysteriously grows even as I hack away at it. So there is no 'end' now. There needs to be as much magic and mindfulness as I can muster as I continue to feel the upswing in pressure and ride the wave of the times, which increase with their own multifaceting demands.

At least, on the run, the engine of motion is all mine. The feeling of control, especially with the last kick and the thrill of speed, is so necessary to balance the sense that so much is happening just out of our reach.

Thanks to Dave/Tx; I read the Little Book of Aloha throughout a training yesterday and practiced the blessing/breathing....I was glad I had it with me, and was able to remember that anywhere, anytime I can capture the Light and use it...

Rainbows Warriors, Arise

Comment on Mark Morford article...


whifflesniffer wrote:
And I quote... If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're 'exotic, different.' Grow up in Alaska eating moose burgers, you're a quintessential American story. If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick. Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable. Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well grounded. If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising two daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. If you teach responsible, sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence-only while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible. If you're husband is nicknamed 'First Dude' with at least one DWI conviction and no college education your family is extremely admirable.
9/19/2008 3:42 AM PDT

Let's get over it, and get on with it.

Holding onto Hope

I tried to get to bed early, exhausted, over-extended, wired, wasted from the stress at work....but I'm not shutting my brain down successfully....this is always a sign of things getting off balance and I'm not a happy camper. There are so many odd vibes a foot...watching the news updates, financial, political, global...can anyone really believe the old guard has anything to offer? I am consistently bombarded by the realities of entrenched mindsets attempting to manage those of us who are actually performing services...how unbelievably disconnected they can be. There is no communication that cures denial...and yet I am in the business of just that. It is so incredibly exhausting. I look at obama-for-peace with faint hope. It has been stolen from us before. Our hearts are easily hijacked by superior numbers and forces....where do we go when there is no sense of support? I will, if I can, take it to the road early in the morning and try to push out some of this baggage in enough miles to shake loose the tension. I need to use whatever time I can to find solace and space apart.

Reconnecting

"Running is a thing worth doing not because of the future rewards it bestows, but because of how it feeds our bodies and minds and souls in the present."

-KEVIN NELSON, The Runner's Book of Daily Inspiration

I had the best of intentions to do a short loop today, an out and back that would keep the week's momentum going. But after yesterday, and the buildup of both physical exhaustion and mental tension I decided it might be wise to take a recovery day and do yoga instead. The goal of core strength is important if I will ever feel comfortable with sustained distance. Between the yoga, free weights and my evening routine of stretches, I think I have my bases covered. What I really needed to focus on this morning was setting up my mental attitude. Just as I head out the door expecting to handle whatever a run brings me, I knew I needed to be able to head into work feeling capable of coping with the stress.

We all have our part to play. I recognize that while the Dalai Lama sees it from the mountain tops, I am down here in the marketplace, taking his lead. I work earnestly to stay clear of attachment to the chaos and insanity, to remember my own good life exists apart from the projections of others. I can still sense the tapestry of dynamic patterns seeking to coalesce; their inter-meshing plays upon the events of the day. By the time I am tucked away from it all, I am able to reconnect to their momentum. The trick, it would seem, is not to feel 'pushed', but rather seduced along the likely path. ...Meeting up with those souls who know you, feel you, and honor you.

9'er

"You were born to run. Maybe not that fast, maybe not that far, maybe not as efficiently as others. But to get up and move, to fire up that entire energy-producing, oxygen-delivering, bone-strengthening process we call running."

-FLORENCE GRIFFITH JOYNER and JON HANC, Running For Dummies

Long loop, and for the first time since the dog bite, took the corner at 58th, my heart pounding....
The body remembers trauma, just as it remembers skills, pleasure and accomplishment. I realized, as I rounded out to head north, that I needed to reclaim that corner, to teach my body to stop having fear around that event.
It was a long, hot run. A few precious stretches here and there gave me lift, but mostly it was just a whole lotta work....

Dark and Light

Since Daylight's savings time is still ahead, I am up and out before the dawn, and watch the moon, which has been full, hover over the landscape like an enormous pearl, while soft bands of muted color begin to slide into the sky. I have never been a 'morning' person. I was the nightowl, the artist who craved the solitude of late hours to hide away from everyone so I could create, listen to music and write. It still feels strange to my body to pry myself from sleep, since my deepest rest is those last hours, when I have finally settled down. It's odd to go from prone to running in 15 minutes; to try to ramp up my engines...sometimes many miles has to get covered before I am even loose enough to enjoy the ride.

Today I did the Griffin road loop, and was not keen on the amount of early traffic that seemed to be everywhere with kids getting to schools. Drag. But I like the bits of road that connect the major arteries for the chance to let my stride out. The part past the med. examiners is particularly nice; landscape to my left, finishing out through the funky little trailer park that rings a lake, and takes me down to Stirling.

I love these treks. I'm determined, each run now, to make it count. To use my mind as well as my body to focus on working past the discomforts, the complaints, the nervousness about my day. To let future worries go and stop consuming myself with the past. I love moving through it all until I have nothing left to give to the run. Then I love the feeling of deep rest that comes with a mighty effort, and giving myself to something that is not based on merit or performance. I completed. Today.

New Week

6:15AM, dark out, on the road before the sun, by 6:30. There is just the faintest edge of cool to the air. Then, with the dawn, the permeation of humidity with heat begins. I do 9 miles today. A torture until more than midway when I finally seem to unfurl those legs. I want to push it just a bit, to convince my tired brain we have more than this old bag of bones to drag around. I am bringing health, experience, and inner strength to every mile. I need to keep my focus on attaining endurance. Staying on my feet is half the battle. The rest is won with time.

Getting it Together

Loss of mindfulness is why people engage in useless pursuits, do not care for their own interests, and remain unalarmed in the presence of things which actually menace their welfare.

-Buddha


I have somehow managed to pull 'it' together today, which I can only describe as my own form of mindfulness practice, what I seem to do everyday, and well; the process of creating needed flow and change around me. I am dreaming of that future space- or is it parallel? The fluidity of time has really undone my constraints, and I seem free, again, to dream big.

Yesterday's long run proved helpful in draining my tank to a place where I could rest deeply last night. And instead of hiding out through the morning in bed, I felt a surge of 'get-up-and-go' anticipating what I described. It is an intensely creative process, and soul-satisfying. It's what I remember doing as a child, especially as a teenager, creating physical reality that reflected me. So today, from porch to closets, plants to paperwork, an organizational morphic field was summoned and suddenly critical mass achieved. The space is together.

I can feel the sense of so many patterns at work, bundles with no name, filled with light and dancing molecules which wink in and out of each others' sight. If I step back, even as I reach into and through them, I can almost physically sense their shifting shapes and directions. My clients who unfold 'true colors' with the textures of emotional imprints, my parents circling themes of dissolution, resolution, ultimate outcomes. How physical objects seek to relate to each other, how plants learn to fill niches of growth patterns within their shared community, whether 2 10 or 50 are placed together.

We have a lot to learn from the world, not this message of transcending it; for it seems even as we take it for our practice, it certainly teaches us how to center squarely on the source which is focus, is mind, is everyone of us.

HOT Saturday run

The week at work was so intense, so much to do, that I felt myself riding a kind of manic wave as I tried to get everything done. By yesterday evening I was completely tanked out, and barely moved off the floor as I caught up with the world, the news, the fatigue of my own body. So sure, maybe it was overly optimistic to think I could handle a long run today, but I was determined....let myself sleep an extra half hour in the morning, and was out the door by before 8.

Of course with scorching heat, that's not all that early, as I found out by the time I made it to the beach, via Sheridan and Dania Beach Blvd. I was having trouble with those damn headwinds, all the way in, which I struggled with all this week, thanks to Ike. Only when I turned south on the Broadwalk was there some relief, but by then it was draggin' ass.

So I limped and jogged my way past uber runners who couldn't care less about the time, the temps or the winds, tourists, bikers, bladers and bathers, and eventually made my way up and over the Intercoastal heading for my next stop at the Young Circle Publix. Do you know I had to walk half the way on Hollywood Blvd?? And later again, a part of 26th, Johnson and the last half mile home. That is a first.

Moral of the story? Don't run in headwinds all week with higher mileage and expect anything gracious out of a long run. Was it ok to run/walk? Of course. Do I feel like I cheated myself of my own 'uber' expectations? You bet. Can I realistically compete with Dean or for that matter the young and fabulous runners who passed me all day? Well, not today that's for sure. Ego is always getting in the way of enjoying the run. My competitive streak wants to outdo someone or something. When I can't push as far as I want, I protest; I demand better of myself. But the bottom line is, I had 3 hours out there of really pushing my body to hold onto it's endurance for staying on my feet, doing the distance, compensating for the heat, and I made it home in one piece.

It's worth considering that every effort it a good one. Even if it's not our fantasy outcome. And nothing keeps us from working a little harder for next time.

I Can Dream, Can't I?

Dean Karnazes was named one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people this year, because of his ultramarathon status and dedication to inspiring others, particularly children about fitness. Dean's book Ultramarathon Man, which came out the same year I was cranking up into running, '05, was one of the vehicles that inspired me to reach beyond my perceived limitations. Even now that I can manage steady mileage, there is an ultra-runner in me; more and more I'm having dreams of treks and travels, reunifications and meetups with people I don't know in strange locations. I keep getting the pressing sense of parallel levels and lives which impinge upon me and layer tendencies and passions one to another. Vitae once gave me glimpses into potential past lives in which my role as messenger was prominent, which in ancient days meant posting through runners. There is something which overtakes me when I find the 'groove' that feels more than spiritually transcendent, it's a 'right fit'- a knowing, that like other things I can do intuitively well comes naturally.

All this takes into account that I am neither fast nor super athletic. Compared to most anyone my age I suppose I am fit. I know I don't look my age. I haven't been sick in so long, I can't remember the last time. I am not as lean as I'd like, or as muscular. I don't have the body type that seems to 'muscle up' like some runners do, with their super sculpted legs and abs. But today, when I ran consistently into Ike's remaining winds, I managed to call on core strength that surprised even me; ok, so it whipped me in the end. But I did a respectable 7 miler with one stop- through wind gusts that felt like hills all the way.

I look at Dean's picture and I pull his large, masculine mass into me. I think of 50 marathons in 50 days, or the Great Western or any number of other events he's done and call on his endurance and passion to permeate the molecules of my own soul. I know there is transformation potential that goes way beyond what we believe is possible in this life; I know it because it comes from sources which defy our limited scope of understanding and logic, and because I have been transformed through the years from broken to whole.

So, run on, Dean, and my other heroes who remind us of journeys, effort and accomplishments. It's all heart when you're out there on the long roads. And it's high hopes amidst formidable odds which always brings you home.

Running into Ike

Despite being hundreds of miles to our south, pummeling away at Cuba, hurricane Ike's far outer bands are sweeping across the region, the faintest hint of it's power which raked through the Caribbean this weekend. We are as far away as we can be and still feel any effects. So despite blustery winds and occasional rain sprays, I took off for an 8 miler on the Griffin loop. In fifteen minutes I went from asleep to running. It's tough in the morning to get my engines firing, and I deliberately left the ipod at home to keep from trashing yet another one....so I loped through the first miles until circling back on 56th and then eventually heading east and into the winds.

Resistance running into wind is the equivalent of hill training. This is where I miraculously found my rhythm as I tucked myself into the force that kept pushing against me and found the power in my legs to keep up a good, steady stride. I need to find ways to get these extra jolts, realizing that I become too regimented in similar mileage and pacing...so it felt great, awesome! to crash up against the gusts of stormy weather and keep pushing it- good workout! Very tough.

It's weird to watch the poorest and most vulnerable succumb to Nature's power knowing it might have been us. There is so little fairness in the distribution of fate. I can enjoy the flash of energy She flings at us, using it as a tool in my own training, and it hardly disrupts anything in my life. Meanwhile countless others have lost all.

The balance of power as it tips from end to end makes the rhythm of the world. I beat out rhythms with my hands and feet when I run without music. I remind myself that underneath it all there is always the one-two of my heartbeat and footfall. And no matter how much it feels like the winds will topple me, I manage to keep standing.

Back to 8

"The distance runner is mysteriously reconciling the separations of body and mind, of pain and pleasure, of the conscious and the unconscious. (S)he is repairing the rent, and healing the wound in his(her) divided self. (S)he has found a way to make the ordinary extraordinary; the commonplace unique; the everyday eternal."

-Dr. George Sheehan

My sore left foot, which I had been blocking from awareness, finally earned itself a little more time out, which I took yesterday, and slept in, before going in to work to go over all my charts in preparation for an upcoming audit. I know how compulsive I am about running, because anytime I take a day off it feels wrong. But today, I had my clothes laid out, and was out the door on schedule, heading up the overpass and looping west to lay out some pretty good miles before stopping at Anderson park and a water break.

I can always pin point one mile somewhere in the middle of a run that holds the magic, the easy, fluid, light as air sensation of everything flowing well, in a rhythm that goes beyond conscious control and seems to emanate from a deep inner level of energy/'chi'. Then the minute I become aware of it I begin to separate from it as I marvel and admire and speculate on it's existence....then the following miles are effort and will, pumping and reaching for form. It's hilarious really how much we get in our own ways. How we strive and reach for excellence, yet when we have it, we find it landing on us like butterflies.

I had a good kick at the end, and felt relatively strong. I think the time off did me good, I was certainly less sore. I know every month will bring me a race goal now, starting in October, and I want to be ready to reach these benchmarks this year. At the same time, I am reaching for those moments when it all goes beyond me to another place where nothing matters except the effortlessness of motion, where I can escape, if even for a little while my own 'mortal coil'.

Ike is pummeling Cuba instead of us...and heading to the Gulf where it will put someone else in it's sites...but we certainly dodged the bullet this time. Meanwhile, the polls are showing the McCain propaganda machine hard at work, pulling ahead of the Dems in their ability to convey the message of 'command and control'. People, you have the power for change. It is upon us every day to choose who we empower and why.
Don't give it away to the Suits, the Impostors, the rogues. Remember the roots of power are born from the call of the times and tap unlikely carriers who speak the language of unity. Resistance is all around. Stand up to it, and stand firm for what you believe. Stay the course, because either way we all need to be strong and endure what's to come.

Tropical Trauma

It's very early Friday....the outer bands of Hanna are brushing by, and steady downpours are sweeping through the region. The photo shows what this storm did to Haiti, where many deaths and displacements took place. Hurricane Ike is the big concern, shooting west like a buzzsaw with south Florida in it's sites. It will be a wild ride the next week, hard to say if we will be Haiti or dodge yet another bullet....

Draggin' along

To mark my intention to run the October 30K training run in Deerfield, I took myself through a "hills and drills" routine, which I haven't done in some time. I've run consecutive days now since Saturday and it's apparent that my body is not a fan of this kind of punishment. Especially since I did my longest run Monday (half-marthon-ish), then 8's more or less until today. So I took the overpasses, then to the park for all the swells throwing a few sprints in for good measure. It was great to see the park for the first time in a while, which is now lush and green from all the rains and storms. The winds have picked up again as Hanna brushes us to the east, and all eyes are on Hurricane Ike which has intensified and consolidated itself to a potential menace for next week. I can hopefully get 1 or 2 long runs this weekend for a very respectable mileage this week, and then will need to see what Mother Nature has in store for us as of Monday.

Meanwhile, the political winds are blowing every which way. I listen to the pundits, the polls and try to take the direction of the 'gestalt' vibe....sometimes wondering if the country will buy itself another 4 years of regression or finally bump free of reactionary tactics. It's hard to imagine all the conservatives swallow the propaganda, but maybe if you are doing well, even when others are not, it's always an easy choice.

In my world, very ordinary people with extraordinary challenges are just trying to survive at the basic levels, establishing more than just their sobriety or stability. The need to adjust to the demands of modern life are more than many can handle. And which party do you think is willing to help? If you are poor and sick in America, good luck, 'cause you'll need it. Vote the Dems back in office.

"Anything is possible, but you have to believe and you have to fight."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

Every mile

Do not see the full realization in one teaching, one phenomena, one body, one land or one sentient being. You should see the full realization everywhere, in all places.
- Sakyamuni Buddha

All runs have a beginning, middle and end. The ultra guy doing the Appalachian trail set out one day, one mile....for the first of a thousand. My short runs can be over in an hour. Today, for a long long run, I was gone for over 2-3...and completed something like a half marathon.

I was up early enough to get a cool start. The winds which picked up for the far side of Gustav still had a little kick, but things were calm and fresh on the swell of air, a few bobbles of gray clouds scattered over the horizon. After yesterday's rest, the first few miles were slow and comfortable. I headed to John Williams park for water and pit stop and decided then and there to head out Charleston and loop at University.

I knew if I circled to Taft and headed east again, I would get my long distance in for the week, since none of them have been over 9 or 10 for a while. My next stop was the corner of Taft, for fuel and water before taking the back streets to 441, where I cross over until I meet the corner at Thomas and the last water stop at Anderson park.
During the middle miles, I oscillated between break-down and re-energizing, finding stretches of rhythm broken by cramping muscles, fatigue and mental discouragement. All par for the course. The last few miles of Thomas, I found a kick at the very end, something I just do automatically now no matter how tough the run; I gave it my all until Park, and when I finally stopped for the last block's walk, my legs felt rubbery and unsteady...I knew I had taken a beating, stretched their limit, brought it home just in time.

I made it up the steps and in the door with relief and accomplishment. Every mile has it's part in making the run, and the runner. Each moment of ease is complimented by abject and crushing barriers which seem to prevent another step, or block or mile. It's a test of will, sometimes, to stick to the Plan and pull it through. The perseverance of the Path is always to stay with it no matter how much it looks like disaster is on our door. Keep moving. Slow down if you must. But know the road will wait for you to get strong, to be able to handle it if you take yourself beyond your own limits.