Heat

A modest few loops at the park, with plenty of walking was nothing to brag about, unless you count just getting out the door. It's time to decide about Miami in Jan. '11. It was 2008 and my first full marathon last time I was there. Miami marathon is one of the BEST ever, since January here in So Flo is a dream compared to the rest of the country, and the course itself winds through every best bit of the area, including Miami beach, Coconut Grove etc etc. Running bud Cheryl checked in with the suggestion to run the half. Doable...?? Either one?? With all the 'maintenance' lately and not much in the way of real training, is it realistic to begin the shift into a consistent plan?? Do I have the umph, the time, the motivation??

The heat is on. Pressure builds keeping all of us focused on more survival than usual, with weather, financial and global changes bouncing around like jugglers balls we can hardly keep in the air. The benefit of marathon training is the whole-hearted attention it takes which acts as a natural deflection of concerns about too much of anything else! Trouble is, have I found myself in a chapter of my life when such focus is not good timing now?

I am trying to fall back in love with many things, including running. Pressure does not help my cause...yet, the goal and its accomplishment is a sure way to up the ante and interest. Goals are good things if they act as catalysts to fling you further into your future. I might try some, now that the BIG ones are in the bag...

Big Weather on its Way

Today's Griffin loop had that odd feel of Big Weather coming in...the winds pushing extra humid air ahead of a mass of energy that you know goes way beyond local scope...the skies filling with that fast mass of clouds beginning their swirl along the upper streams steering things forward, and apparently westward. Not good for the Gulf, for us, perhaps a first dry run of the hurricane season. We are hardened pros now, we know what needs doing...and as part of the Broward County team, I am 'officially' on call and at their disposal always...

Meanwhile we all attempt to cope with what comes our way. These Big Forces are pushing their way upon us and we need to have the muster to hold on to our ground, our faith and hard-working ethic to see us through. It feels like it will never quite be 'easy' again. Even the run, which gives up trance-like stretches of bliss every once in a while, exacts its price: there is always a deep effort to maintain faith that I complete today, and the next, and the next one to come.

Yoga Day

After a stretch of running days it felt prudent to honor the hard work by giving myself a yoga day today. I follow the Rodney Yee "yoga for the core" which helps tremendously with the major muscles which support strong and comfortable form for running. I always know when I haven't done it often enough; the run will begin to feel pushed. This yoga routine is a fantastic counter-balance to the hard work-outs, especially in the heat of this summer. And it reminds me that what I am dealing with is my body's 'chi' and energy shifts, channeling between the ground of Mother Earth and Her core and the axis of galactic balance, as it passes through my body.

In motion, I've also gone back to "chi running" principles. Like all practices, I find myself going back to basic principles over and over again, reminding myself of the basic inner workings and focusing my mind to 'sync' with my body. If I don't I easily fall prey to any typical athlete's tendency to push on without senses tuned to the body's nuances, or body as machine. Much as I would like my body to 'obey' my wishes, there will only be continued progress if 'we' all work together!!

I am reminded of this in all areas of my life. How my clients and I are a team, my agency/practice and I, family, friends and the Great Circle of Helpers who stand seen and unseen on the planetary stage...all contribute to the forward movement. I am always in awe of the cohesive and gestalt nature of this interplay, that no matter how separate we think we are, Forces so much greater than us have us in the cradle of their consideration while the strands of chaos and fate intertwined to make our future.
Move on out with courage and a brave heart, dear friends. There is no where to go but UP!

New Week

Saucony Hurricanes were half-off... who can resist a bargain like that? Never ran in this brand, but they felt pretty good at the store. Today, I took them out for an easy 4ish miles with plenty of walking (and dodging the sudden rain shower!)... and they felt pretty good...cushiony, but hopefully not TOO much stuff between me and the road.

Inner Distance

"Part of the challenge of the marathon is pushing past what you think is physically possible. You can do more than you think you can."

-Christine Hinton, a Maryland running coach

Yesterday as I watched my clients cope with the pressures of therapy, as I prod and push them past their own limits, a part of my mind kept wandering back to points in my own growth when I never thought I could....(fill in the blank)...go back to school/have a career/be financially stable/run/run a 10k,half marathon, marathon/retain a secure job for a long time/influence a ton of people for the better...etc etc etc....

Our belief systems stack up like bricks in the walls of our minds. They define the course, the challenges, the obstacles to overcome. One of my clients suffers from severe panic disorder and decided one day to challenge his beliefs by writing a 'letter to myself' and since then another, empowered part of him has become the driver in the journey of his healing process.

"You can do more than you think you can" is a mantra I live by. You can love more, accept more, resist more (the propogandists and repressive forces), empower yourself more to dive into the dream that hovers at the edge of your attention. If dreams are the echoes from our future selves, encouraging us on, then what do we have to lose by following them? Only the fear of yesterday.

This morning I set out for the Griffin loop thinking long and hard about the "Grandmothers of Endurance" someone posted on FB about 2 gals in their 60's/70's running ultra's...I mean 100 milers! The video had their interviews as well as footage of their beautiful matched cadences on a training trail run. It was a thing of beauty to see these old gals skimming the ground like sailboats on the water, as breathtaking to see as any star elite athlete...and for me, more inspiring!

One day, I will push past the limits of yesterday to the possibilities of today. I will remember how many dreams I thought were out of reach only to be the foundations of new ones. I sense the future world hovering like a beautiful veil on the edge of our daily routine; take the time to part it and see for yourself, who and what is waiting for you there.

The JOY of Running

Again, for no good reason....except for good fuel and a weekend rest (as opposed to fretting about work)... I take the Griffin loop over from 56th and up SW 40th, a road I have not been on in some time....

The crisp light of early morning cradles my eyes as they adjust to the rhythm of footfalls, until I get my gait and begin to ease into the atmosphere. Over Emerald Hills I just focus on keeping everything on a smooth move....nothing was terribly sore, no hitches, so the shift of gears from slow shuffle to respectable pace (for me now) happened effortlessly. Instead of constant walk breaks, I seemed to have the pace right to go and go....on up to Griffin, enjoying the peace and quiet of lovely open roads with hardly a car out: Sunday mornings are the ideal day for the long run!

Griffin to my Publix pit stop. I was over-heated but feeling triumphant. I would like to push it to Angler, but something in me said, don't take the risk just yet...a good thing can turn south and any one of those vulnerable places lock me out of making it back in one piece. So instead I took my time and ran the branch back to Park, keeping up a nice little gait to Tom Petty all the way down to Stirling. I am in the habit now of walking the last mile, a 'homage' to an article I read about a NYC runner who figured out if he walked his last mile home, made it back in good shape, allowing his legs to recover. Walking does just that; while still on a brisk move, it feels as if all the connective tissue can stretch back out, while muscles remain active...plus I work on swinging out my tense shoulders, neck and arms...

The JOY of running comes unexpected...and usually under pressure from set-backs, challenges and obstacles along the way. In the photo, from MCM, this was mile 18-19 before I saw a familiar face; my 'team' waiting for me along the DC mall...Michael, Yu, CeeCee and Vitae- triumphant for me, spiriting me on with hugs, shouts, kisses and love....

There are times when I feel I hold the vision of everyone I love like a flower in my hands...while the fragrance of such solidarity generates the wind at my back each time I go it alone.

Summer Running 2010

Up and out between 6:30 and 7 AM, the sun having just hit the roofs of the condo buildings, preparing to heat up the moist night air into a sweat bath, but not for a few miles yet, as I head up Park. It's been a tiring week; nothing at work is ever balanced; either too much chaos or a dull roaring calm before the next storm, I am ever on my guard against too much stimulus pushing me into frenzied compensation. None of which really relates to my clients who are always the best part of what I do! By Friday, the first one I hadn't taken off in a month, my reserves were down. Sleep is the only antidote to fatigue...so I was optimistic that today I could run on more rest.

I try not to compare what training this time last year was like to now. The Marine Corp marathon was creeping up on me all summer, and my mileage was also increasing from the 30's per week, to 40's until at my peak I had a few 50 miler weeks with the long long runs. It was the summer of beach loops with my training buddy on the bike, out for hours and hours in the brutal heat. It was strength training and yoga, and so much attention to diet. The anticipation on the one hand and the stress and grief over losing my Dad just prior, and the last class before completing licensure requirements. Everything piled on and I mastered it, suited up, finished up, and ... crashed.....

This year's summer running is the antithesis of last: no meters, watches, fuel/fluid belts, no gels, gu's or extra anything. No weekly mileage 'requirements', no strict dietary no-no's. The goal this year is, "just run!" whenever I can, however long I can, where ever I feel like it.

While my post-menopausal body continues its transmigration into elderhood, a process I am not the least on board with yet, my mind struggles to find its footing in the constraints of aging's demands. I remain convinced that if I made it my absolute priority, I could find a way to build back to a bigger, better base and STILL become the ultra-runner I have inside my head! And even so, the dream-sojourner in me also realizes that the long trekker who keeps moving me place to place is responsible for this inherent self-image; I am always, somewhere deep inside, on my way...

It's a lucky thing we evolved this universe inside of us. The medicine people know there is no need for bodies when it comes to travel. For me, I hope to hang on as long as possible to the alchemy of weaving into one the twin trails of inner and outer movement. For me, the power is amplified, the juice is on. I 'see' my way through any obstacle thrown my way.

Happy 75th Dalai Lama!!

Thanks to Facebook where connections of connections posted the pix of the Dalai Lama's birthday which took place across the world in an earlier time zone. Even the photos themselves are a tribute to DL, filled with intense color and pageantry, and the grateful smiling faces of his many many devotees. And again thanks to FB to write my regards, which was "I hope you live long enough to help us through this transition..." because many great spiritual leaders and teachers are passing away.

It was the story of the DL which all those years ago inspired me to accept my own 'exile' on Planet Earth, and to understand the bigger mission behind place and time, nationality and identity. A young monk who understood his purpose, uniting the many like-minded people from all over the earth in a quest to alleviate the insidious effects of political and mental violence through compassion. A teacher who seems never to decline an invitation to sit with students. A symbol of all Tibet has not yet completely lost, but is in danger of...Truly may he live long enough to see some resolution to his own cultural crisis.

Never one for patriotic Independence Day instead a time to reflect on the various forms of repression which seek to take away our precious freedoms, and to give thanks for independent thought and action. For a woman nothing is more important than protecting this right and we all too often give it away in the name of money, romance, power and security, all the while losing ourselves to the repressive grind. For anyone on a spiritual path, the stakes rise on the temptation to parrot your guru, your sage, your favorite healer...all the while your own unique voice, your talent is waiting to express itself into the world.

While I work through the new challenges in running I never take a step anymore without a 'thank you' to the Powers that Be which keep me moving. Running is like a gift from the gods, bringing me closer to their presence in every bit of Nature, air, breeze, swoosh of my feet along the pavement, along the grass...Today the pain from new meds was almost eliminated after a long night of discomfort. The run reminds me of my potential, power and position on the earth....and that intention is nothing without action - nothing without the heart which nurses a dream and brings it to fruition.

So now, it may not be marathons, but its each loop I set out to finish...its each day at work, every client, every chart. It's fighting for my life and those of others in searching for healing and functionality to keep me in the game. It's devotion to Cause, to DL, to all the Teachers who have helped me along the way. While my heart weeps for the Gulf and The Mother's tremendous journey towards Her own wholeness, I hold onto Hope for the Vision She gives us; to never surrender to repressive forces, to embrace the creativity in change, to keep moving!!