Catching Myself

The blog has patiently waited while I got a year older,  visited with the fam in DC,  and navigated some busy weeks with both Broward County work and the private practice.   All things have infinite items attached on their respective "to do" list.  As for running,  it's been a struggle to once again find my base and build back my endurance.   Plane rides,  several 3-4 days off stretches and sleep disturbances are all it takes to blow me back from my prior level.

Yesterday was my first 'Sunday run'-  I'd like to call it long,  it was 'longer'  than my usual weekday runs, yes,  but modest enough;  an out to the west on the long, mostly empty Park stretch, loop to the north and the Emerald Hills road.   The ability to sustain persistent running is eluding me right now.  I put walk breaks after a few miles,  then again in the middle of the loop.  At the end,  I walk the last mile or so,  not sure if it's actually my legs or core breath (or both)  which causes the pause.   Aging tries to convince me this is typical and natural.  To slow down,  to walk when one ran,  to begin limiting the dreams and ambitions compared to youth seems part of the age-script.  And yet the Soul of Me feels as passionate about all things within my vested interests as ever!  Is there an end to art,  music,  the poetry of the written word,  the Life of Plants and Nature,  the process of healing?  The magic of love?  Does the run end when I walk in the door or does my body still feel the pit-pat rhythm of footfalls long after I stop?   Are the power of dreams limited to my sleep life?  Or like today,  with the image of the small organ modified with full keyboard pedals etc,  does the Metaphors projected in us and through us live on in the world in ways we cannot imagine?

I'd like to think I am catching myself on a long road where a part of me ran on ahead.   The rocks I stumble over may not impact her,  she has hurdled them and more,  and she looks back over her shoulder to tell me to keep going,  keep running, keep dreaming!   I want to stop sometimes.  I have the same desire as babies,  to drop off into sweet unconsciousness and forget the imprint of the world, soaking up, instead the beautiful vibe of pure becoming.   But once the day is born,  the run begins.  And with it the hope that I'll see her up ahead, closer and closer,  until She is Me. 

Easter Sunday long run, beach loop

I wasn't planning on a a beach loop today,  in fact, as I thought about my options last night,  I was rather missing my big Griffin loop, the one that picks up the extra blocks and takes me by the old training route I used to run when a 12-er was normal.   I've felt extra fatigued of late, the fall-out of more intensity in every area, especially work, and inner changes...but nonetheless,  a call seemed to come as I stepped out the door; to put everything aside and come to the ocean.

I took the entire Sheridan stretch in one fell swoop.   The music was set to a good groove, and the winds came at me at a steady but manageable rate, giving me the extra resistance which got me focused....down past the morning traffic,  through the lights, the tracks, the early walkers, bladers, bikers, runners doing just as I was,  making their way to- or from- the beach.  At random moments, the rhythm of the run seemed to take on a life of its own.  Other times,  I felt tired again,  willing my feet to follow themselves and trying to shake out the core blockages to let the energy flow....

As I came up to the broadwalk at North Park, signs were posted for Easter sunrise service...a quaint reminder, as a Jew of what today means for many,  another opportunity for us pagans to use whatever Light is available to amplify our own efforts.   For me,   TIBET, world peace....world transformation....world healing,  to hone my 'channel' for same.   I stood at the rail and watched a small circle of what must be Christians preparing for what must be a baptism;  you can just see them in the photo.  I watched as they huddled in prayer and the surf came crashing around their feet.   The sun was a bright glow just above the palms and the sudden shift into fresh, beautiful Florida earth came onto me,  the essence of Mother Gaia's riches,  the intrinsic magnificence of Her soul.

Heading back,  I found my back routes and with the wind at my back, settled nicely into my groove,  lifted above the chatter of practical demands floating around in my head.   My legs were tired after yesterday's run,  so with the last remaining blocks I took it nice and easy,  feeling happy as always to be unencumbered,  unbothered,  unbound.  It is human nature to seek the means to get into, through and beyond the concepts of ourselves, unless you are someone who needs those boundaries,  then they belong to you.   But on rare occasions such as this, with so much metaphysical energy available,  ride the tail of transcendence into the riches of your own internal mind.   Find the tracks which seek to take you on pilgrimages to the altar within.   You might find the treasure you always sought, all along,  there in the dark places, waiting for  you.  

Endurance

The beach called to me as I woke up to get ready for my Sunday long run.  It has been a while since I did a real one,  not a substitute, and last week I took a rest day altogether.  A while too since I wrote here, so long runs are key to fueling blog posts, apparently!   The warmish night had given way to a cool early morning, with the sun just climbing from the horizon and the humidity low.  The sky was free of clouds and the crystal quality of the light just pulled me east.  I was packing light, thinking an out and back would be just right.  I wasn't keen on passing a few nostalgic points, but pushed on,  feeling the weight of my sleep slipping off the longer I went,  catching my first pit stop at the Publix.   Took the final 2 over passes and hit the beach ready to soak up the morning sun.....

The water lay like a magic carpet of light;  I was caught full on in the shards of brilliance and got my breath while the league of tourists and exercise rats crossed by.   Felt somehow lifted off the calendar, as it becomes increasingly hard to tell, just what season we are in.

I headed out once more finding a beautiful rhythm to my stride as i took the overpasses again, and found a new alley just parallel to the main drag which gave me blocks and blocks of privacy even from the houses themselves.  Lost in the motion,  I began to feel the lighted joy of the run, remembering my many beach loops in training,  the meandering neighborhood streets,  the miles criss-crossing my many weeks of busy work, busy prep, busy times.

Endurance is a trait many runners innately possess, or acquire,  and about every runner needs it to commit to the sport.   Endurance is learned once the body has built a strong base, and the quest to increase the capacity to take the pounding of running, to hit the transcendence begins.  I flew several stretches....I walked many too.   It was this wonderful mix of pace which gives me the feeling of internal focus...I was fully adrift in the magic of my dreams. 

My visions seem echoed everywhere.  And the peace I feel is the reflection of synching up the synapse with change, as it flows through me and around me.   It is captured, at times,  like butterflies, gently perched on days not yet hatched.  I follow them....one by one.....by one.