Serving the Infinite

Serving the Infinite
     in time
a part from us
as Calling,
pronouncing the
names of things
even as they
evaporate on the
     wind....

If you breathe
them in
you locate yourself
while simultaneously
investing Space
with their unique Power....

All you need to do
is RADIATE.....

Peace love and Gratitude

Melissa, the massage therapist at Stirling Massage, dove into the maelstrom of my knotted muscles like she was exploring ancient artifacts embedded long ago by the training and trauma left by past visitors....at one point feeling sparks of crystalline light flying off my shoulders, as if the weight of the world, which I often feel I carry,  was released....like sparks from a great fire....and floated harmlessly into the Cosmic Void.   I'm proud of myself:  I did not run for 2 days.   I rested like my life depended on it,  ate well and did what I love best;  putzed around and absorbed the beauty of my own little landscape- potted and trimmed plants,  looked at paperwork, books,  meditated,  prayed....allowing time to sink into the vibe that is me at my centered best, unencumbered by who I am in any other way.

Yesterday,  I took off for a big Griffin loop starting at the south end of things,  meandering around the 'hood until I rounded out at 29th and up Anglers, hitting the long stretch by Ravenswood until I came up to my Publix pit stop...all in all a slow and lazy jog which was more comfortable than I can remember- no expectations,  walked when I had to- absorbing the beautiful crystal blue skies and cool breeze brushing my skin in electric sparks.   The changes afoot which causes us all to hunch into ourselves a little more,  to brace ourselves for war or deprivation or other sources of stress, self-imposed or not,  want to stop us in our tracks.  Force us to 'call it quits' and give up/give in to the drumbeat of calamity. 

Hope lies in motion.   No matter how stuck in our beliefs, principles or thought processes,  whether our emotions are hanging on us like noisy children, we move with energy that ultimately animates our every breath.  We can therefore change our energy with the motion of intent as our goals, no matter how humble,  lead us on.   I felt this as I cruised on down 35th Ave....whatever I think I can do,  my feet will carry me on the rhythm of the run if I trust the movement...and no matter how slow it feels, before I know it I have eaten that stretch, those miles, and find myself walking the last bit home, like an old horse coming back to the barn.

Trust the motion of change.   It can and will take you along, it is only up to us whether we go 'willingly' or kicking and screaming, stuck as we seem to get, in the quagmire of our insistence of the way we think things are.  Lift yourself for a moment above the road itself and feel that instant before the next foot falls....are you weightless?  Can you glide between your thoughts and grab the hope and light which lives in that beautiful arc of  becoming?  I am the footfalls and the weightlessness of light between them.  I am the relief at the end of the run.  And as always,  ready for more.  This week:  I AM GRATEFUL for all that my body and soul brings to me and through me.  And for those who help me along the way, seen and unseen.   

Portals and Eclipses and Cloudships oh my! and more on the Run

Project Integration continues.....as my body takes me along this journey of discovering what is happening around me, inside of me....related to me....and it's efforts to assimilate changes way beyond my scope of understanding!  During the long holiday weekend  I put R & R at the top of my list:  a big "NOT TO DO" sounding out whenever frenetic energy tried to uproot my need to settle myself within the matrix of my own home base.  Nevertheless,  I managed some modest runs, mostly around the 'hood, taking note of my hot spots and feeling a little more friendly towards the roads.  I had hoped to run the Hollywood half-marathon early December, but that is a reach I acknowledge I must release- for now.

More than anything, I am drawn to watch the skies.  The Big Canvas of Mother Gaia never ceases to please, as She arranges the elements of what is barely material- the air, light, movement of ephemeral clouds- into penetrating images which slowly morph into suggestions of our deepest changes.  The Sun itself is so bright,  so powerful I can barely stand to look towards it or be under it except the mornings.  Some of my plants facing south on the back porch are scorched!  And of course everywhere around the globe our Home is undergoing the pangs of birth into something we've never known. 

I've been told that my 'specialty' is transitions, as I, myself seem to move through things without too much of an anchor, too much attachment....and helping others recognize the opportunity in change comes to me naturally.   Since running is also undergoing change,  it becomes, as always another metaphor for making the shift more seamless.   I worry less about anything but what it feels like to be on the move, allowing myself to fly off into those wide skies and soak up the adventure of Nature's artistry continuously unfolding and overarching all. 

Sometimes art is a stark and brutal statement, and reflects the dark shadows of our fears.  Other times, art takes on the saccharin aftertaste of forced sentiment.  We try to be good, nice, accommodating... to 'fit in' with our preconceived ideas of who we are and how we should behave.  But true art is a Natural outflow of Life and Nature is the Greatest Artist of all.   She uses everything fearlessly.   She displays whether we pay attention or not.  She transforms the very molecules of our bodies every day without complaint growing us and everything around us into something only She envisions.

I am learning to put my trust in Her above even my own perception,  knowing I am still burdened by my inherent blindness to forces greater than me...but even still,  I feel every bit of swaying and sloshing, even when my footfalls make their regular beat- underneath is a rocking and shaking that comes up through my body and meets the open air with an explosion of surprise.  Just when I think I can't get any more removed,  I turn around and find I am in the middle again,  -of a run,  a dream,  a session with a client....dreams and life intermingle...and we are making our way into a transformation of both. 

Daylights Saving time, Beach Jog/walk 11-4-12

Like many others,  I experience the shift into November as luminous (just look at that morning sun!), painful, confusing and exciting all at once.  The physical symptoms which are hampering any serious running continues,  forcing me to relax all expectations and take advantage of down time to REST.  As someone who usually keeps up a pretty consistent and busy schedule, including training,  the message is cutting through my ego loud and clear:  LET IT ALL GO. 

So that's what I did.   Daylights savings time gave me an extra hour to contemplate what to do today:  do I even try to run at all?  But something in me keeps saying 'just get out there'- so I kept it light:  my music only and kept the hydration belt at home.   As I started out,  it felt as if I was drawn to the beach, even though that seemed like an awfully long distance for someone feeling lucky to stay on my feet for a walk around the neighborhood.  And true to that,  my gait is so limited and slow,  that a woman walking a moderate pace easily passed me by, as I kept at my shuffle....it might not look like running at all...but it appears I have morphed into something like a joggish walker....and as I watched her go I felt a pull on my heart wondering as I do every day out now,  'what is happening to me'?

Still there is something to be said for moving just as much as you can.  And my reward came spread before me at the beach, with the Light streaming off the ocean and hitting me in my heart, which I hadn't realized felt just a little bruised from the week past....and as I soaked up that scene I felt proud of my tenacity to get out,  get moving and allow the compassion of Mother Nature to pour into me.

Whatever your beliefs about the hurricane, climate and earth changes and the Big Shift underway,  the fact that our very essence is cradled within the arms of Gaia is comforting to me.   I can easily swirl off into mental realms less secure.  But the forms and feeling of Nature are my comfort and aid. We will see where it all leads us, as we all continue to make our way,  one day and sometimes one step at a time.  But as more Big Events await us,  remember we have each other to lean on,  to love and learn from....Be open to your own heart and the Great Heart of Life beckoning you along.  You only have your fear to lose.