Melissa, the massage therapist at Stirling Massage, dove into the maelstrom of my knotted muscles like she was exploring ancient artifacts embedded long ago by the training and trauma left by past visitors....at one point feeling sparks of crystalline light flying off my shoulders, as if the weight of the world, which I often feel I carry, was released....like sparks from a great fire....and floated harmlessly into the Cosmic Void. I'm proud of myself: I did not run for 2 days. I rested like my life depended on it, ate well and did what I love best; putzed around and absorbed the beauty of my own little landscape- potted and trimmed plants, looked at paperwork, books, meditated, prayed....allowing time to sink into the vibe that is me at my centered best, unencumbered by who I am in any other way.
Yesterday, I took off for a big Griffin loop starting at the south end of things, meandering around the 'hood until I rounded out at 29th and up Anglers, hitting the long stretch by Ravenswood until I came up to my Publix pit stop...all in all a slow and lazy jog which was more comfortable than I can remember- no expectations, walked when I had to- absorbing the beautiful crystal blue skies and cool breeze brushing my skin in electric sparks. The changes afoot which causes us all to hunch into ourselves a little more, to brace ourselves for war or deprivation or other sources of stress, self-imposed or not, want to stop us in our tracks. Force us to 'call it quits' and give up/give in to the drumbeat of calamity.
Hope lies in motion. No matter how stuck in our beliefs, principles or thought processes, whether our emotions are hanging on us like noisy children, we move with energy that ultimately animates our every breath. We can therefore change our energy with the motion of intent as our goals, no matter how humble, lead us on. I felt this as I cruised on down 35th Ave....whatever I think I can do, my feet will carry me on the rhythm of the run if I trust the movement...and no matter how slow it feels, before I know it I have eaten that stretch, those miles, and find myself walking the last bit home, like an old horse coming back to the barn.
Trust the motion of change. It can and will take you along, it is only up to us whether we go 'willingly' or kicking and screaming, stuck as we seem to get, in the quagmire of our insistence of the way we think things are. Lift yourself for a moment above the road itself and feel that instant before the next foot falls....are you weightless? Can you glide between your thoughts and grab the hope and light which lives in that beautiful arc of becoming? I am the footfalls and the weightlessness of light between them. I am the relief at the end of the run. And as always, ready for more. This week: I AM GRATEFUL for all that my body and soul brings to me and through me. And for those who help me along the way, seen and unseen.
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