Long Run Beach loop 11-27-11

16 miles is a big haul;  I mentally mapped out what that would entail, even with the beach loop, but adding a detour into Hollywood to come back home from the south.  16 is also way beyond my usual reach-  the longest I've logged so far is about 14, and with lots of walking.  I decided to take it as it goes and adjust if needed.

It was a really glorious morning, clear and cool, and the lead up to my Dania cut off was uneventful.  The traffic was light and the morning sun was full on my face as I headed east.  Once I made the cut and proceeded along Dania Blvd, I shared the path/roads with all the other bikers, and bladers, and a few runners heading in my direction.   The intercoastal came up on my right and as I came down off the bridge, the Dania beach rolled out before me as I cut the corner to catch Surf Rd,  and my North Park pit-stop.  I was about 7 miles in and feeling pretty tired, all too soon negotiating with myself about the rest of the run.

There are so many fit, fabulous runners out there,  young, strong, tireless....it's impossible not to compare myself and wish I had their stamina, their lighter-than-air musculature, whatever that magic formula is that makes distance runners able to just go and go...while the turtles like me, slog along, trying to find the groove.  So I thought as I decided to take the Sheridan bridge and cut down from there, instead of attempting to run all the way down a crowded broadwalk to Hollywood.  Once I found my side road, I kept heading west while making occasional cuts south to catch Taft and the closest means of getting under the Interstate.  I had a nice, if very slow stretch in this area,  distracted as I love to get, by the houses, landscapes...and allow my dreams of future house/office/studio/garden
to percolate.  As I neared home and realized I would come well under the 16 I decided that had to be ok;  there was no sense in torturing myself.

Much as I theoretically love those big distances,  my body is clearly telling me I now have some limits- and to disrespect this will come at my peril I know.   Since I told myself I would decide something about Miami by now,  it looks like if I do any racing it will be a half- not a full-marathon.  And that's if I care enough to race at all.   For what I loved most yesterday was getting lost in those back streets,  cruising along without a time clock, without a time limit, and free to move at my own pace and rhythm.  Do I really want to add stress to that?  Why not allow the run to just be?

Our accomplishments are not always measured by medals or awards;  the World will not always acknowledge us for our efforts, or reward our breakthroughs.  Ultimately, once I got home I just felt exhilarated to know my legs carried me almost 13 miles and gave me a marvelous Sunday morning adventure.   It was grand; and next week, I'll see how far I can make it, again.

post-Thanksgiving run

Slightly overcast and cool, the weather gods delivered the perfect conditions to set out for my morning run,  fueled by yesterday's extra carbs and assisted by the nearly empty streets.  A lot of everything banged around in my brain until I worked out those first few miles, the awkward  rhythms in my footfalls settling into the cadence of entrainment, as the right-left-right of the swing eased out my aches and my worries into the Earth Herself.

Sometimes, I don't want to care about anybody or anything.  The constant attention I need to focus on the woes of the world, as they show up in my clients and others can collapse my world-view into a kaleidoscope of crazy chaos, and my gratitude this Thanksgiving, among so much else, is for the grace of an empty schedule to bring it back to the essence of things.

People, we are not the end all be all, and yet at this point in time all that we do will influence our global outcome. We are monkey gods,  stuck on our desires and insecurities, lashing out at misperceived threats and defensive against all pain.  Our fears get stuck in our throats and swallow the words that might otherwise heal and uplift.  We personalize it all,  demonize, rationalize out behavior, our principles.

Beyond the little bag of skin and bones,  the Greatness of Spirit is calling to carry us out of our tiny views into a Big, Broad perspective where the DNA which is spinning in our cells mirrors the perfect turn of worlds... and the moves we make into our lives are met with immeasurable Forces which have our back and guide us along the open road.

I feel the greatness of All that Is when I forget the struggle...when I fly out of my constrictions and into the Rhythm, the movement itself.  Our biology links us as surely as intentional prayer.  Use your body to gain appreciation of the Big You inside.

So high, so low

On Sunday's long run, the Plan called for 12 miles ,  a bump back to obviously help consolidate gains and something I should be able to handle;  so my thoughts went as I watched the rain pour down before I finally made the dash outside.   Squally bands of rain, sometimes hard, usually a drizzle kept fanning over me as I headed up the overpass to begin the loop south then east along Arthur St.  I did not dress in rain gear,  instead trying a minimal approach-  a simple cut-down micro-tee and shorts with my phone-slash-music safely stowed in a plastic bag in my spi-belt.  My legs felt heavy, and so was my mood.  Before I warm up it's a chilly and surreal slog until I begin to unwind some miles east and hit my first pit-stop at John Williams. 

The wind was at my back to get there, and while I cruised up 66th to link with Stirling.  I began to feel the rhythm of my gait lull me into the pleasant trance of the movement, allowing my mind to surf the images and concerns of my inner landscape, until I faced east and the long stretch back.  The weather was on dial to fuel up and down the register...at moments the sun would break through and the heat/humidity would blast me.  Most of the time strong blustery winds blew right at me, slowing me to a walk until I picked the pace back on Emerald Hills, my short cut for the day.

I watched as I swung from confidence to deflation with every change....when I caught a good stretch I felt sure I could master any marathon...sign me up!  When I crawled to a walk, the senselessness of it all would strike me....why punish my body, pushing it so hard?  Would I benefit just as much from a modest running routine,  and keep my fitness and health?

I'm glad I had those ecstatic stretches;  I love feeling like anything is possible, even when Reality smacks me in the face.  When world and personal events feel as if they conspire to bring me low, I recognize that parallel paths are unfolding miraculous breakthroughs and the paradigm of possibility emerges stronger than ever.    And whether the wind is at my back - or blowing me off my feet, it is the same Wind after all.

Thanksgiving weekend calls for my first bigger distance, a 16 miler, and as I've been telling myself, this will help me decide if I have it in me to train any further for Miami.   Whatever the mind wants to interpret,  there is no getting around the footfalls, the rain, the silence on the empty, open roads which beckon with possibility....I run on.

Long Run 11-13-11

The Plan was 14 miles.  It took a while to guestimate that distance, given the GPS on MapMyRun.  I came up with a  warm-up loop up the overpass, to hook back west until John Williams Park (this is 5 miles....), continuing on up the Turnpike overpass to 66th where I took a right to connect with Stirling.  Heading east, I picked up the cut to Griffin and headed east to my Publix stop which was an even 10.

Easterly winds blew into my face, and I walked that mile into Publix, exhausted, numb, and once again daunted by the demands of distance and the time it takes me to traverse it.   A cut down to Angler's and looping back to Park,  and I just made it under 14 as I came (walking) home.  It's still embarrassing to post a time;  and yes I know under race conditions there are no meandering stops at stores, or walking miles...what can take me 2 and 1/2 hours (my race time for a half-marathon) is taking way more this;  so now my concern is, even if I run the marathon, do I really want to be out there 6-7 hours to finish??

So for the first time I felt willing to revisit the whole idea, and what running means to me these days.  If my early running years were about proving myself up the chain of miles and races, just to see if I could do it,  my relationship to running is morphing as I age into something less competitive;  or at least that where it feels it wants to go.  The competitor in me is not letting go of the need to keep comparing myself to other runners who are still achieving big, admirable goals.  My fear is that any reduction in effort or achievement just contributes to my overall declining physicality and fitness, a fear encapsulated in the image of my mother in her wheelchair.  

If I run to avoid an outcome of decrepitude and decline,  is this just hubris of ego?  Will I, and the other, elder, uber-runners all end up the same?  Or is there a magic, an elixir in running which can preserve my strength, endurance, energy through the 'long run' of my life?  Granted, I was proud to pull out a 14 miler,  no matter how much time it took, or how much I walked.  But the inner and outer Me's are still coming to terms with what is and what is Possible....

My 11-11-11 Run n' Ready Experience

I felt compelled to go to one of my favorite power spots at Hugh Birch park,  and which was FREE for Vet's day.  I settled into a parking spot and donned my running gear,  and after a nice warm-up loop around the park road, took the pedestrian tunnel which links to A1A and the ocean.

Windy, cool and mostly clear,  the ocean rushed up towards the beach while runners, bladers, walkers and cyclists of all stripes piled through the north-south stretch.  It felt GREAT to be back here again, remembering race days thundering down this stretch to the finish line for the Ft. Lauderdale halfs I've done, and other training runs down to 17th St. causeway. I hoped to make it that far, but once I got a few miles south, it felt prudent to head back;  pedestrian traffic makes unnecessary challenges for me- and I was craving some deep private time.

So I took my magic stairs back into the belly of Deep Nature....

...meandering through some of the inner trails, mostly flooded out by our recent storms...and 'seeding' spots with meditations and offerings...until I found what I was looking for:

a BiG Mama Fig Tree standing by Herself in a clearing, just beyond my parking space,  and providing a park bench platform and opportunity to 'tune in' beneath and surrounded by Her amazing energy. 

She is so large, you can climb INTO Her- and look up into the canopy and sky beyond....

For about an hour (spanning before and after 11:11 AM) I meditated, wrote and of course, left some "stealth art" as an homage to the Day:

and 'wrote' this:

I am in the Presence of Light
and yet I AM the Light,
the dark spaces through the tree limbs
are only deflections,
For they, too, are Light.
The Wind is Light,
for it travels through the wind,
and so even our thoughts,
broadcast to the winds,
are Light.

It must only take one photon
to reflect the universes,
as it is Light,
So am I in the Presence of
Infinite Universes always.

There never were shadows,
just deflections of Light,
creators of shape and form.
They do not impinge upon us,
we impinge upon them
and create the visible world,
which is Light- and Infinite Universes- as One.

So the Me who can float like a single photon
of Light
if one of Infinite Me's, but we are the Same,
since we are Light.
Our manna is the play of forms within Light
and our limitless potential to Shine.

Daylights Savings Time Long Run 11-6-11

I woke to warmer than expected temps, and a bright early morning thanks to DST.  Heading out towards the overpass,  I decided to see what a beach loop would feel like, haven't headed east in quite some time, and the thought of ocean scents and sounds felt like a nice reward- so off I went!  Up and over the overpass then settling in for the 4 miles until I took the left up to Dania Beach Blvd.  Once again the calculation on the MapMyRun GPS seemed longer than I remember...but now I was curious;  just how many miles is this loop anyway?  And as for the Plan,  I was due for a 10-er,  a nice little break.

One of my favorite stretches is the long (it feels long) lonely road to Dania  Beach.  As usual per Sunday mornings, there are plenty of cyclists and a few other runners out there, as I pushed through strong blustery headwinds to make it up onto the Intercoastal overpass ... and cruise down past the beach parking and head south along the beach itself.   The walkway cuts down from Dania Beach to North Beach, where lots of runners, cyclists, bladers and walkers are busy getting their morning exercise.  At this point, I had stopped hearing the miles prompt and had no real idea how far I'd gone, but was onto a fine stretch when I made my pit-stop at North Beach.

I took my time,  took a few more pix and headed  back west on Sheridan with the wind at my back.  It was a pretty torturous time although I kept a run up until the last bit before climbing the overpass one more time before home.  The distance said 11.25.   I used to think that loop was about 13.  Either way, it felt good to know I could pull that off and that I'm still 'on schedule',  more or less, on my plan.

Meanwhile, I caught the last 6-8 miles of the NYC marathon and saw the women's and men's winners cross the finish line,  all in world record time.  It is hard to describe what its like watching a world class runner cruise through sub- 5 minute miles at the END of a marathon, while I struggle just to RUN any distance at all...and the crazy motivation it gives me to know just what I CAN do, by comparison.
Congrats to the runners, winners and finishers at NYC yesterday,  for a job very well done!  And I remember to pat myself on the back:  I put my mind to complete that run yesterday and I did.  It is small accomplishments, unsung, that sometimes put us back into a place of confidence.  Grab them when you see them unfold for you:  they are your daily gifts.