Devi Prayer - Hymn to the Divine Mother

Irene, Coming and Going - SoFlorida

With yet another TS/Hurricane contender out there in the far Atlantic, all of us up and down the eastern seaboard are now veterans of Irene.  While still a Cat 3, she majestically skirted all the territory below Orlando, dropping hints of what what in store for the rest of the folks further north.  Not without her manners, she apparently lost her will right at the last minute and packed a less powerful punch;  very fortunate for all those who expected an even worse event, and yet enough to remind us all that Mother Nature isn't fooling around;  disrespect Her at your own peril!

Meanwhile, back on the Adaptation project, coming off the natural disruptions of illness and weather events,  I am back to running and once again the quest to build a base.  On the other side of big weather are slight changes in the presentation of late summer;  extreme heat and humidity and new just now, a slight breeze in the early morning hours giving hint to a fall change to come.   Moving the air is often enough to give big relief under these conditions.   Focusing on getting back my usual 6 mile loops,  it is enough to give me big challenges, but reachable ones.  There is residual strength to carry me into this, and build from - to meet my usual goal:  stable health, strength, endurance.

The inner changes roll along their own response to input, whether from the external sources of people, places and events or to the ever-changing conditions of internal mind and experience.  Always attuned to atmospherics, and often too much so,  it's been a breach of my otherwise formidable defenses to find myself struggling with health and growth aspects of personality and profession.   No one likes to admit their short-comings.  And for someone who feels perpetually reaching for a kind of creative high which validates my Soul experience,  I am often unaware of the nuts and bolts of issues right in front of my nose. 

Our Best Teachers point out to us where we have drifted off from the integrity of the Team, whether that team be our partners, family, friends or coworkers and clients.   Too much focus on little s self, and the ego will take the inch and hang us with miles of pride, self-service and selfishness.  Too little focus on Big S Self and we forget the spiritual muscles which yearn for as much of a workout as our bodies;  time to reflect, meditate and Center our purpose on the mission of our lives, the bigger reasons for time and effort to achieve anything we define as our Work.

The body needs to be 'pushed', persuaded, to reach beyond our mental limits to discover what we are capable of... any runner knows we constantly reach beyond our current abilities in order to increase what we can do.   Same with the Spirit:  the Benevolent Ones see a larger slice of the whole pie,  a bigger view of the skies,  the Pattern of Soul and being in this world to gently influence and guide the shape of our intent, to conform, ultimately to something ever Greater than us.  We go kicking and screaming like small children, afraid of the changes, unaware of the opportunity just beyond that door- or we accompany the Forces of Growth like lucky lovers, enamored of a sweet surrender which can take us to new places, and widen our own Arc of Love and acceptance to who we really are.

Adaptation and the Unexpected

Hurricane Irene is lurking around Puerto Rico, with a bulls-eye on South Florida.  In the lead up to big storms, the skies here always take on mythic proportions:  this was my view off the catwalk this AM as I headed out to run.   By mid-week we will see the large arc of feeder bands;  that's IF she decides to take the projected path our way.

Meanwhile, my debut run yesterday, back from my 10 day hiatus was better- and worse- than expected.  I took the Park west route to have a long stretch to do nothing but allow my body to regain it's 'muscle memory' of a gait, and to keep distractions to a minimum.   This first couple of miles was amazing stress-less....clearly,  a break from constant impact was not a bad idea.  That said,  as I continued a loop up 56th and over Emerald Hills,  I could clearly feel the drop in stamina,  and walked a good bit of my last bits.

The Uber-runner in my head, and the reality of the Me in this world are often out of sync.   While visions of marathons and quirky trail runs dance in my fantasies, the challenge of doing even my usual 6 miler, run or walk, is now where I am at- actually.   Today,  more or less the same route in reverse, I walked even more as I caught the sun full on with a few miles left, and could feel my body wilt under the forces of heat and humidity.  What I could more easily cope with a month ago has become, again, an up-hill slope as I re-acclimate to everything:  weather, distance, endurance and stamina...building strength in connective tissues and muscles which were throttled down to a snooze-mode, and just long enough, apparently, to lose a lot I'd gained this summer.   SIGH.

I told myself, on that walk home, that I am grateful to have the full faculties of my body, senses and mind, even if the diamond is a little more 'rough around the edges'.... the brilliance of inner soul seemed reflected in those big gorgeous skies and full sun.  Clouds which carry ever changing banners of color and wind feel full of portent;  I will always have a passion for jaunting out in the open world, whether my aim is to run or not...and Nature will always Call me to join Her.

Often adapting is little more than a shift in our mind-set.  In my professional work I can watch the pattern of cognitive distortions like patterns which lay themselves out like plot-lines, often tangled and twisted up into cul-de-sacs of assumption and pain, laying wait for the unsuspecting nuance of meaning to come along and pull on some unopened door, creaking on rusty hinges when knocked upon, and opened.   We are such creatures of habit, that even when the amazing new insight introduces itself, we don't always recognize or welcome it.   We change with a chip on the shoulder, or we hide from the assumed threat- of change.

Then sometimes,  change comes without our consent.   Illness is a reminder.  Irene is another, and soon enough we will find out just how close to 2005 things will come again, and whether we adapt to our stormy horizons any better than we did then.   Expect- the Unexpected.

Healing Hiatus

Cocky me, thinking I will cruise on through indefinitely without any set-back, letting my expectations get the best of me when my body says "WHOA!"  and time for healing comes.   OK so it's a summer cold (I assume) and this constellation of symptoms is no doubt a cleansing from very stressful times....busy work schedule, training and just trying to keep the rhythm going on the Treadmill of Life.

I realize that anything that forces me to slow down is probably a good thing.   My nature is to discount the vulnerabilities of my body;  I train to increase my general stamina and endurance- not to become a super-athlete, but to keep my energy strong for everything I seek to engage.   When down time comes to me, I tend to fight it.   But the body surrenders eventually and with it, the healing rest I obviously need.

I seek the support of my healing allies today, and as Mom and Dad have been hovering around in my dreams, I hope the Ancestors are doing their part to support us here.   They have been much on my mind of late as I traipse around the backroads of my childhood, remembering the peace and comfort Mother Nature always gave me,  starting right out our back yard.

So to everyone striving to maintain their health, balance and faith in the path before them,  I am with you.   We all bleed and cry, and suffer the slings and arrows of our status in the material world.  The Hands of Greater Awareness are there to hold us whether we move forward or not, even in our down days.  Reach, and Grab hold.  

Sunday Beach Run 8-7-11

TS Emily skirted our shores dumping much needed rain Saturday night and lulling me into false security as I woke Sunday to see overcast skies.  Without direct sun I decided to trot east towards the beach and visit the ocean for my long run loop.  I greatly under-estimated, once again, the power of humidity to lay a runner low.   I bench marked the major cross streets until hitting the first of the 2 overpasses on the last stretch when I began to feel nauseous and light-headed.  On all my usual loops I make it a point to hit some hydration early on.  But this time, I skipped the Publix, and this was 4 miles in more or less.  I felt embarrassed as older, faster runners loped on by, and I walked on up the first overpass to stop and enjoy the Intercoastal.  One more overpass and I cruise into North Park and the ocean,

The light is deeply mysterious early in the morning when squally weather has been around.  The shades of blues and greys can hardly be identified as they blur and blend into the atmosphere.  The ocean seems to swallow the light as morning seems 'suggested'...I hung out a bit,  took some photos and drank plenty of water.

I hit that Publix on the way back, and took my electrolytes.   By the time I limped home, it felt like 10 pounds of moisture was carried in my clothes;  I felt humbled yet triumphant that finally I made it over to the beach, even if it was shy of my usual long loop distance.  Clearly, it's not always about how far you decide to go, but what you go through along the way.

The only one putting any pressure on me is myself.  I am deeply grateful that so much of my life has fallen into a rhythm of routine, something that works well for me.  Whatever I can do independent of outside demand will call up my best assets, the ability to call upon the  skills and resources I need to execute my professional responsibilities.  Personally, the journey I take to transform past hurts into clear connection continues.  Running is a dialogue with the elements, and I will never be wholly independent of the Forces of Mother Nature in Her quest to Express Herself, regardless of my training inclinations.   This inter-connection is the mystery that pulls me back each time just to discover what Adventures await. 

Nature's Practice in Action

"The world is its own magic." - Shunryu Suzuki  Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind

According to our local paper, a tornado touched down in NW Broward yesterday;  the photo was taken from my office window in the aftermath of the same storm that shut down our power!  For about half an hour, the Powers that Be debated about evacuating until 5 minutes before the start of group, everything came back on....and the Work continues....

Witnessing Nature in Her most expressive manner is always a humbling experience.   Everywhere you live, you have one or several of her Personality Traits to deal with, either storms, temps, floods, drought, fire, volcano, earthquake, etc etc etc.   The illusion of our relative stability on this globe is in direct correlation to where you live and what class you are.  In today's news, as TS Emily attempts to rev herself up, it was stated that she aims for Hispaniola,  where over half a million Haitians are STILL WITHOUT PERMANENT SHELTER from their earthquake in 1/10!!!!  This TS would be a nuisance for us;  like yesterday, several clients said it was dicey to navigate the highways into treatment.   But can you imagine what most of the planet endures in Sudan, The Mideast, in every impoverished corner of the globe when Nature moves through??

I take my runs for granted sometimes, especially when the weather has been kind enough to give me consistent conditions and therefore the opportunity to focus on stuff other than the elements.  Today, the dawn had that magical few minutes of cooler air cutting through the humidity before the sun turned up the temps...my walk warm-up was peaceful and serene, watching the sun peek through the huge southern oaks at the park.   My goal to work on endurance appears to be paying off;  despite the heat and humidity, consistency and a few stretches of fartleks, not to mention the overpasses now and then are helping me build strength.  In the back of my mind is the 10th anniversary of the Miami marathon this January....do I 'go for it' again?  or stay 'Zen' in my practice of 'ordinary' running?

There is nothing ordinary about our World, but we treat it like a garbage dump, a hazardous waste pit, an obstacle in our way of abstract pursuits.   When was the last time you sat with Nature and absorbed the slow growth of Her manifest beauty in the trees, plants and wildlife around you??  How long has it been since you walked on her skin, sensitive to Her many moods, breathless creativity and beauty??  When artists attempt to mimic Her, we fall short.  When scientists attempt to understand Her, she remains Mysterious and elusive.  I love this about Our Mother Nature.  She will not be encompassed by such as us but we can see ourselves mirrored in Her soul, as a part of Her amazing Creation, and honor both Her and ourselves more fully.

High Summer

Yesterday was Long Slow Distance day with strong emphasis on SLOW.   I had an unfortunate pairing of shoes with sox which created an almost instant blister on my right toe.  It's been years since I've had such challenges running;  in my partial denial I decided just to continue my regular loop, with poor results.

I wanted to run out and back to the beach, but wasn't feeling my 'mojo'...and glad now that I didn't.  I think I'll keep that goal for slightly cooler mornings, and meanwhile kept to my usual longer loop, stopping at John Williams to cool off and hydrate.   I took a bottle/belt this time, and really dislike the extra bulk and weight.  Even so, I was glad to have that liquid on the long stretch up to Griffin and on my last leg home.   I was out at the pool a few days back, and the sun was so intense that just after an hour or so I burned.  Summer is not playing with us this year!

TS Emily is forming in the Atlantic, with likely paths now honing in on us.  I can tell by the cloud formations that a Big System is lurking around.   If you are elsewhere in the states then you are contending with the heat, the severe weather and other summer stuff all the way around.   It may be that Mother Nature is beating me at my own game.   Some days I seem to acclimate to heat, and others like yesterday are bust.   I walked a good bit, including when I finally took off my shoes and walked in my sox back towards home, just to let my toes out of their shoe prison.   Anyone have good recommendation for shoe types that are not so minimal, but still breathable??  Barefoot is not an option for this old gal.   But I'm open to suggestions.

So we'll see what the running gods have in store for me this week.   Today was yoga day.   I'm happy with the results from my 'ancillary' trainings....I've got good core strength and continue my medicine ball, free weights, lots of stretching.   Still, there are chronic 'flare-ups' that seem to be the result of a body mostly 'parked' in neutral (counseling=sitting sitting sitting)....which is suddenly employed to run.   Clearly, this takes some balancing from one extreme to the other, and Summer, you aren't helping on this one!

We do what we can do with every day and the elements built into our experience, whether that be the atmospheric conditions and weather, the agenda of our loved ones and friends, or the inner needs of the body and soul.   The nature of change is sometimes in staying aware of every opportunity to choose what heals, builds and connects, even when that looks like doing nothing at all!!  We let our bodies  heal when we rest, but rest too much and the strength from exertion will not take place either.
I choose to respect the Power of Mother Nature today as she levels me back to an appreciation of who, exactly is Boss!