Hot Summer Runs: Get Used to It

Despite my early depart time out the door and overcast skies, the temps and humidity this morning was a presence like an overheated sauna.  With June soon done, this is likely the mode of running this summer, not unlike any summer here- pounding out a lot of miles under intense conditions.

How do we adapt to things we cannot change?  Runners are notorious for handling just about anything Mother Nature throws at us;  from the uber-long-distance folk who brave deserts, mountains, artic snowfields and conditions us lower-level runners would curl back up in bed over, to the throw of the dice on any race day anywhere in the world which brings the question of weather.  Just think 'Chicago' as a favorite example;  how many times have they been caught out, in my dear Windy City, with so much heat the races are called off? 

It may seem contra-intuitive to those who run on gym treadmills or couldn't even imagine being out there to walk on a day like this, so here's the crazy thing:  at least for a while the heat/humidity feels good- like a sauna does.  Unfortunately the only way to 'exit' it is to enter someplace with A/C- which I do.   My pit-stops are orchestrated like a well-oiled military campaign.  I know every Publix and bathroom friendly gas station in a 20 mile radius.  So, 'sauna' good for a while, then miles 6, 7 and on- forget it.  The romance is gone, the heat is brutal and all I think about the last few miles is HOME, A/C, HYDRATE.

We need to pay attention to how far to push it in Life;  when to muster our forces to reach a benchmark, a goal, and when to regroup and regenerate our energy reserves by lowering expectations or resting altogether.  The same decisions are made even on the run itself.  It shows how even in the midst of our 'journey' we have the choice to throttle up or down to regulate our pace.  There is more up to us than we take into account, thinking about the pressures of the external world.  Feel your Internal Regulator reminding you to choose how you make your way into your future;  so much is up to YOU.

Ultimately I believe we love to challenge ourselves.  We're hard-wired to keep advancing our causes among the many layers of life.  We want to stop feeling depressed, get in shape, improve our relationships, find new jobs, places to live, get more spiritual etc etc.  If we do not have enough challenge in life, it seems as if 'Something' puts it in our path as if to say 'not so fast....' and the new reality of change begins.

Summer Solstice Run 2011

After dreaming, again, about Obama, and my family, including a cameo by Mom who was not the one dead in this plot (someone else was...) I dragged my butt into my running gear and headed out into the humid early morning.  If you have not spent time in South Florida, you are unfamiliar with humidity here which feels like the air is a different element, and running in it like swimming, the feeling of moisture is so intense!  I kept my expectation low.  The walk/run up to my first pit stop felt surreal.  The crystalline quality of light, full on by then, seemed to refract through the moisture giving everything a hyper-realism, colors bright, and the impact of awakening buffered by an impression that I was still, somehow, in a dream.

The Longest Day comes upon us to open the way for the longer descent into the underworld, and the great build-up of manifest energy about to take flight into the unknown.   For one day, the perfect balance of light/dark, day/night is exquisitely present in a promise of abundance.  No matter where we think we are, we are held on the scales of poetic justice;  our dreams coalesced into the realities they are to become.

As I rounded out the loop and headed home, the heat of the day blasted me full on, and I walked a good bit of the last mile plus.   I felt my body struggle and try to shake off the shades of the night, even as my mind was still partly caught up in the dialogue with the dreams.  Our bodies are gifts to link us to this Earth, to feel what She feels as she lights up her days and rests in her nights.   The Solstice is Her reminder of All things in proper proportion, even as the moment slips over into the steady procession of the seasons.  Celebrate your body today, and give it the Nourishment it asks of you;  not just the food on your table, but the sustenance of your highest hopes. 

Happy Fathers Day 2011

Our brutal record heat continues;  trying to outsmart the  impact, I start out extra early today, a fresh dawn blurred with grey cloud-cover, obscuring the sun and giving me a head start to gain my pace.  It was a 3 day stretch - no run- until today, just long enough to take down my endurance, but enough time, really, for a break to the tender spots in my hip flexors etc which need a break now and then.
Cruising down Park, cutting up to Griffin, I walk the piece before my pit stop while the sun broke through and cast the pall of humid heat on everything.

The world of chaos I found myself in mysteriously dissipated yesterday while I was busy seeing my Saturday clients.  Between locations, the underlying feeling finally broke through, a rare and sustained inner compass of peace, acceptance and yes, Serenity.   Not one to find this feeling easily, when it happens it feels like a butterfly landing on my arm;  I can hardly breathe not wanting to scare it away!
But more magically still, the feeling persists;  a directional embedding, a Connection with all things on my Path which seem suddenly much more friendly with each other.  Is there harmony with my Inner Family at last?

What is the masculine in us that drives the engine of our desires?  It is much easier sometimes for me to relate to male initiative, being a pretty strong, assertive person myself.  My own dad and I clashed like crazy, since I was so much like him:  driven to excel, prove myself, be an independent thinker and woman-  traits he gave and cultivated in me, the inner strength I so much owe to him.

It has been amazing to watch my own son become a father.  As we learn to take on generational roles on the outside, our capacity to become our own Good Parents is a hallmark of psychological health.   If your inner male wants to dominate, beat you up, criticize your every effort like mine did, you might want to foster a different relationship.   Out on the run, I can feel 'him' as my Chief Encourager, the goal setter and getter, the voice that says 'you can make it to there, keep going...!' even when I want to quit.  Today, recognize the many men in your life who embody that Larger than Life, full throttle energy that Dads and men bring to the world.  Make your peace with your own Inner father who seeks to guide and counsel you.   If he forgets himself, and tries to bully you, realize he may be seeking your attention and the accolades he'd like in his own quest to nurture your True Dreams.

Every Run a New Run

The illustration is someone's interpretation of a Medicine Wheel mandala...who knows from where? (sorry whoever you are...) and seems to capture the seemingly chaotic inner landscape of my life of late.   After 6 months of some kind of shock/mourning, post Mom/parents losses,  what I now 'see' is the press of many facets swirling around and around, looking for a pattern.   I am restless, irritable, feeling out of my element, whatever that is.   The world of my work, and Florida in general, the anchors through the family transitions, are feeling surreal- like the image.   A kaleidoscope of color and movement which I cannot, as yet, interpret;  I look for direction.  I crave 'The Answer'.   I'd like some directional sign to say- Here is where you go, so Go!  My security, while practically intact, feels suddenly in question.

I've run 4 days in a row.  Since an early meeting tomorrow took out one of my usual run days, I decided to try consecutive days since Sunday's long run just to see what would happen.   It's never predictable.  Starting out today, the smell of smoke in the air (where are the fires??), humid, hot and quiet at 7AM on my usual loop, every part of my legs felt like they were stuck in mud, slogging out the first few miles.   I felt idiotic for some reason;  this happens on a 'bad' run, I start to question my very purpose out there, as if not being the uber runner in my own mind cancels out any other effort.  There is no walking.  There isn't even 'do a shorter loop' anymore.  I was way down on my mileage this winter and I paid for it, losing a lot of endurance.   My 'bottom line' has been to put down at least 25 miles a week, which sounds to me like the least I can do.

Here's where the Mystery begins.   I find a bit of a groove cruising up the quiet side street to Griffin, and take it all in one sweep to my Publix pit stop.  It's amazing how by 8AM it is HOT HOT HOT...sweating, sore, thirsty... the store is my regrouping spot...then I head out to cut down back to Park.   I remembered suddenly that the water was to be shut off for repairs;  oh no!  no water for my morning coffee?!  I thought, well I have half an hour to make it home in time, so no walking that last mile like I usually do, and no dawdling out this last stretch.  I got on my way, put my mind to a steady gait and LO and BEHOLD make it all the way to TY park in one nice long stretch...!! 

Mind truly works its Wonders on the body, which I know I treat sometimes like the reluctant partner in this Quest for some sort of inner/outer perfection, fighting every aspect of aging, limitations, beliefs that I can't do it, when I know there are older runners out there making marathon history and beating all the odds!   Every run is an opportunity to duke it out in this internal morphing of purposes, ultimately aimed at UNITING 'us' all in one purpose...to manifest in THIS world the essence of ME, whoever that me happens to be, every run and every day, 

New Hopes and Dreams

It's been an adjustment to see myself as "granny", and to look on this little face and wonder what her future holds.  Without the counsel of my own parents, I have to figure this one out for myself;  how to redefine my identity to encompass this new role, and bring along the strengths of my youth, as well as the willingness to leave off what may no longer apply....

Refining and redefining, the future comes to us while we morph our inner vision to encompass the ever fluctuating  landscape of change....so my thoughts have been rumbling around on the last few days runs.
Yesterday, I pulled out my usual long run, a modest one (10 maybe?) by most standards, but enough of a 'push' to be a benchmark of sorts of how my endurance is coming along.  Miraculously, today's Griffin loop was a comfortable effort.  I had a better gait and rhythm, and the road seemed to run on before me, opening the way in the very early hours of the morning, fresh with new hope for the new week.

We are like babies when we enter new stages in life.  We never really know what things are like for us until it comes upon us;   no matter how much others tell us, it takes our own inner education to solidify the gain, and to come to some appreciation of the nature of the new order.   It's all new, a little strange, and sometimes, we can be prone to cry,  protest, or sleep our way through. 

I've had my 'tantrums' of late, and my need to attempt to defend myself from change.  Even the thought of change has had me stressed, so I gained my escape by depending on that which is constant:  the run gives me consistency- it tells me that no matter what I look like, there is a strength inside which propels me, puts me airborne,  and gives me space to simply be.   Anyone who uses meditation to gain that familiarity with Self, will know what I mean.   My moving meditation is a way of reminding myself that I can move upon the surface of Earth and hear my own heart, for no reason but to feel my breath and the beating of my heart.  We all need to find that 'place' where constancy buoys the unending progress of change.   And anchor ourselves to something beyond our formidable defenses towards Life.