Happy Fathers Day 2011

Our brutal record heat continues;  trying to outsmart the  impact, I start out extra early today, a fresh dawn blurred with grey cloud-cover, obscuring the sun and giving me a head start to gain my pace.  It was a 3 day stretch - no run- until today, just long enough to take down my endurance, but enough time, really, for a break to the tender spots in my hip flexors etc which need a break now and then.
Cruising down Park, cutting up to Griffin, I walk the piece before my pit stop while the sun broke through and cast the pall of humid heat on everything.

The world of chaos I found myself in mysteriously dissipated yesterday while I was busy seeing my Saturday clients.  Between locations, the underlying feeling finally broke through, a rare and sustained inner compass of peace, acceptance and yes, Serenity.   Not one to find this feeling easily, when it happens it feels like a butterfly landing on my arm;  I can hardly breathe not wanting to scare it away!
But more magically still, the feeling persists;  a directional embedding, a Connection with all things on my Path which seem suddenly much more friendly with each other.  Is there harmony with my Inner Family at last?

What is the masculine in us that drives the engine of our desires?  It is much easier sometimes for me to relate to male initiative, being a pretty strong, assertive person myself.  My own dad and I clashed like crazy, since I was so much like him:  driven to excel, prove myself, be an independent thinker and woman-  traits he gave and cultivated in me, the inner strength I so much owe to him.

It has been amazing to watch my own son become a father.  As we learn to take on generational roles on the outside, our capacity to become our own Good Parents is a hallmark of psychological health.   If your inner male wants to dominate, beat you up, criticize your every effort like mine did, you might want to foster a different relationship.   Out on the run, I can feel 'him' as my Chief Encourager, the goal setter and getter, the voice that says 'you can make it to there, keep going...!' even when I want to quit.  Today, recognize the many men in your life who embody that Larger than Life, full throttle energy that Dads and men bring to the world.  Make your peace with your own Inner father who seeks to guide and counsel you.   If he forgets himself, and tries to bully you, realize he may be seeking your attention and the accolades he'd like in his own quest to nurture your True Dreams.