from The Daily Guru

Nothing can remove you from the present moment, or from the reality of who and what
you really are.

Find the clear and constant Awareness which remains the unsullied and spacious Background of Life's ever-changing circumstance, and all restlessness will subside.

Hope and Inspiration

"The one resolution, which was in my mind long before it took the form of a resolution, is the key-note of my life. It is this, always to regard as mere impertinences of fate the handicaps which were placed upon my life almost at the beginning. I resolved that they should not crush or dwarf my soul, but rather be made to blossom, like Aaron's rod, with flowers."
-- Helen Keller

Today's AT, or Awesome Thing...something I've put into practice since the big PUSH has been on, in order to keep me grounded on the unceasing miracles which happen daily, if looked for.....
My client "X" gave his final presentation at group to prepare for his completion of treatment. Many of the girls cried; some of the men railed against their fates. My client gave a profound window on the journey of his own recovery, and was kind enough to place me in it, at which time a wave of comments went around the room about my being the best...therapist.....and I smiled deep in my heart knowing the Path I always meant to meet, the one where Hope and Inspiration resides, and commands the forward motion, the same one I meet every day on the run, between footfalls, heartbeats, and the very Breathe of Nature.

New Shoes

After cooped up all weekend in class, sitting sitting sitting....after hours of talk (albeit interesting...) and attention to detail for everything to get done...I took my new Brooks out for their maiden run.

What a joy!!! I've been an Asics girl forever- until Friday when on a whim I stopped at Runner's Depot on the way to class, and met the 'future me'...a woman with curly gray hair who has run a dozen marathons and was about to run the 50 miler up north...which she hoped to do in about 12 hours. She was selling the shoes; and she turned me on to the Brooks (she was wearing a pair). I kept getting an eerie sense of pre-ja vue....and decided it was all meant to be. And was it! I did an out and back, and took the last part on Park with ease, increasing the length of my stride to work out the kinks in my legs. What a tremendous feeling of comfort. How long will it last in these? Can I make it until January, then one last new pair before the marathon? Good investment for mind and body. And oh yea, a boost to my Spirit as well!

Courage and Compassion

My 9 miles this morning was mostly a run into stiff headwinds, as a front has parked itself with blustery winds, occasional drizzle and storms. Running into wind is so exhausting...and strengthening. So as much as I hate that feeling of never quite "lifting" off, I appreciate how this intensity is growing endurance; and I'll need plenty of it, over the course- of the next months, let alone the next marathon.

I start class tonight. I'm leaving soon to go vote early....then hit the NSU campus to see if I can do some research on the Co-op, as well as anything that will place me ahead of the work curve for the class. I have so little familiarity with the "art" of the library these days....while I still have the leisure, anything I can do to make it more comfortable is a good idea. And thanks to TP, a possibility of research at a law library.....should be super cool.

The presence of courage and compassion will serve me well in the next weeks. The more pressure I feel, the more I sense the safety net of Beneficent energy which inundates the efforts of our swing back from insane directions. Every run has its own character; a pretty run never predicts- it is a gift from the divine messengers and constellation of fates. But when the difficult run comes, like today, we are buoyed by past success. Our courage, built on solid accomplishment, will lead us through the next leg of the journey. The next corner, the crossroads, the completion; for now.

Inner and Outer Work

"To exercise at or near capacity is the best way I know of reaching a true introspective state. If you do it right, it can open all kinds of inner doors."

-AL OERTE

The first few miles this morning, looping long over the overpass until Arthur, was tough to sync into; my right thigh has been cramping, I did 4-5 miles easy yesterday, so I have not taken a day off for a while. I fought it, wrestled with it in my head, kept driving it, shuffling through the ipod playlist until I hit on a few tunes with just the right BPM and pace. Once I stopped at Anderson for water, I was able to harness a little more energy, and rounding out towards the east I finally found the groove. The light had come full on, after clouds obscured the sunrise. The cool air felt wonderful, invigorating on my skin. My legs opened up to a nice, steady rhythm and I felt the aches and pains recede...In my head, the joy of movement obliterated the challenges, and after another mile or so, I was taking each block in a flurry of motion...feeling great, strong, alive, boundless.

I kept this up for the entire last miles....it was maybe 3-4 in that last stretch on high gear. I could barely shuffle to the TY park entrance by the end, but even just a little walking had me recovered and loose again. I don't often push this hard, in training or in life. With class about to start, and the caseload kept high at work, it's an unusual time of intensity. It's a ripe time for fears, doubts or insecurities of all kinds. Can I maintain focus, progress, strength, clarity, endurance...all the attributes I need to make it work, make it successful...And yet how many times have I encountered unusual levels of challenge, pressure, deadlines....this is not new. This is my forte'. I forget I am the master of challenge and transition. I make a goal, and it's not "how", it's "when". My years of carving taught me how to perservere; my own recovery journey has provided inner strength and fortitude. Running just puts it all on the road, that's all. Just one more way I train my body and mind to support the Spirit within, determined to Make it Happen.

Flotsam and Jetsom

"If you can train your mind for running, everything else will be easy."

-AMBY BURFOOT

When the painters arrived and set their gear in motion, it seemed like a good idea to get out, even though I had planned this as a rest day. So a nice easy out and back seemed reasonable, nothing too taxing, since everything is good, and yesterday's long run was successful. Why push my luck?? It's finally cool enough to throw all the windows open, so the air this morning was delightful; perfect running weather (for me!). I lazed out to Anderson Park, then took Park Rd. back, soaking up the air, the early sun, and the feel of my legs searching for their pace. It came late in the loop, almost at the end, the last mile or so, when I finally relaxed and felt my stride open up and churn like a great wheel in motion. I may not be able to sustain that for long, but it sure feels wonderful. So it was enough to jump-start my system, and be ready for the day.

There is so much debris in the swells, by the park, at various crossroads; it got me in mind of the ruminations I fall into on the run. I reran dream plots (meeting Dave Matthews in Chicago....hmmm..was that you, Dave??), grocery and to-do lists, client concerns, and long-term wishes......projects both mundane and sublime. Thought about the kids, the Circle, and the election. It's amazing what you can think about on the run. Of course the best part is when you think about nothing at all, except the exhilaration of movement....It's true, once you 'become' the run, everything else is easy. Everything else is just part of training.

Long, Strong

It seemed weird to run in the middle of the day...I really needed that sleep, and just allowed myself to wake up naturally, deciding to run all the errands first today. By noon I was back, and out the door, ready to run a long loop, up to Griffin, west to the Seminoles, back on Thomas. The weather, which has gratefully taken a turn for the slightly cooler, was cooperating, as rain showers careened somewhere close to the area, but never quite on me. Breezes full of cool air buffeted against pockets of heat; and once I began the stretch down 40th, something wonderful opened up. The road began to feel more like a launchpad, and my gait something like a smooth engine running in a steady rhythm. It was a little hit and miss at times, but when it came into sync, it felt like a thing of utter beauty and astonishment. The happiness that comes with this motion is hard to capture, but weightlessness, within a strange context of weighted rhythm, is the essence.

It was a beautiful ride. For no reason I can think of. It felt like a gift for hard times, something reaching from the outskirts of my potential, reminding me that there is lots of progress to be had. Keep it up. Keep up with the wonderment of surprise.

Homage to Crash....it's heartening to see your blog, and to know you are my first follower! White Rock could be your come back. I'd love to run it with you.

Keeping Perspective....Run to Come

We also often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

The Last Miles

"Training is principally an act of faith. The athlete must believe in its efficacy: he must believe that through training he will become fitter and stronger."

-FRANZ STAMPFL


My third day out this morning was a shorter run, about 6-7 miles, feeling tired and sluggish after 2 longer days, and a short night's sleep. I watched the debate, and enough of the talking heads after to feel I had some sense of the where things stand in the home stretch... then I had trouble falling asleep. Visions of voter fraud, and worse, outright sabotage courtesy of the right wing control freaks leaked into my staunch optimism. I kept wondering, if they could do it before, what will prevent them from doing it again, stealing another election? But then I come back to that 'wave of history', the tide of the times, etc. And somehow, in the core of this vision is a palpable hope that transcends business as usual, even bad business. It comes from the sense of pendulum swings coming back from disaster to balance before plummeting away to another extreme.

Maybe I dream. But the last miles are always the toughest. I watched Obama last night wondering what really goes on in his head. McCain is nauseatingly transparent. His cynicism and disrespect for his opponent was all over his body language. Obama kept cool and composed, on point and on message. Yet for all that, and after years of preparing, building this campaign, we come down to the stretch where literally anything can happen. Is he confident? He seems to be. Is he ready? Who could be, for what we have to cope with in the slide of national and world affairs? But the affirmation of history seems to be carrying him. When the line seems far, and energy is long spent, something wells from deep inside that brings a certainty, a surge of confidence. No matter what, you think, I am bringing this home. I will see myself cross the line...I hope he knows how much support there really is, even as he goes alone into the final stretch. He carries it now, but we are there for him, preparing to leap to his aide, the minute he is with us.

"The world is full of poetry. The air is living with its spirit; and the waves dance to the music of its melodies, and sparkle in its brightness."
-- Percival

The Journey continues

"Running is a way of life for me, just like brushing my teeth. If I don't run for a few days, I feel as if something's been stolen from me."

-JOHN A. KELLEY

It was a solid 8 miler this morning, with winds whipping up from the east, taxing my strength going over the overpass and again on the stretch back. It took a good 2 or 3 miles before I even felt loosened up enough to start enjoying myself, and able to absorb the beauty of the day; swirls of clouds moving across a bright sky, the air at once heavy with moisture but somehow brushed clean with the winds. I found myself sunk into the rhythm as I rounded north, thinking about everything and nothing, feeling the pat pat of my footfalls like a massage on the bottoms of my feet.

I've been more sore and tired than usual, even with the break. The intensity level of everything is greater, and the pressure to keep up just keeps on coming. I saw the altar with Ganesh, Hindu god, in one of Rishi's photos...and it was an electrifying reminder that Protection is near. I once had a dream, long ago, I can still remember clearly where a great female elephant came to my rescue. If the totemic energies are a foot, then we are lucky to have all the help we can get. It's not always in the ways we expect that the Source delivers on its promises. Meanwhile, we lose heart and focus so easily, we are like monkeys distracted by the detritus of our own whims. Only when we dig deep enough to build on the reserves of true dreams do the gods seem to flock to our aid. Big Dreams are all around us now. Channeling them into our corner of reality is the goal.

Homage to Chicago

That's Cheruiyot, Kenyan winner of yesterday's Chicago marathon, which apparently was run in warm temps this year, capturing a time of 2:06:25. Very very impressive!! Our Olympic women's winner, the Romanian gal, was 8th, and gracious enough to say "my legs are still tired" from Beijing.

I couldn't rally myself out early yesterday, but by midday, after chores were finally complete, I decided to give myself a mini-vacation to the beach for a run there. I did the loop from top to bottom: Dania peer (and a slight detour to do the bridge), down the length of the Broadwalk, turning at the bottom and back up to North Park. I think it's an 8 miler...not sure. It's been a while since I ran in the heat of day, and it was a very tough go for the first 2 thirds...But for some reason, as I turned back north along the ocean, I felt a surge of resonance with the air, the rhythm of my stride and tucked in for a respectable stretch, taking the sand along the walkway as I needed to cushion my feet, feeling steady, swinging my arms, holding my head high.

It was a boost to see the ocean; I'm studying clouds these days, no doubt an influence from Michael, also as I work on this painting, which is all about atmospherics. The ocean was an emerald green, and the breezes were driving full fluffy layers of white clouds buffeting the edges of the horizon. It was enough. It was my homage to the runners in Chicago. All together I probably made 18-20 miles this weekend, for a respectable 40-45 for the week.

Today, I rested, and did yoga. I slept so long, and so deep...the plot-lines in my dreams were all about treks and running.....coming up to Griffin with John (work) at my front and Jay(work) at my back, as we laugh about our pacing, coming up to Daryl (work) who held a basket of food at the 'halfway mark', with potatoes, fruit. I ask for the fruit- the potatoes are raw. And this morphs into other plots of loss, as the players in my life revolve through my past...

It was incredible to connect with CC and compare notes...every day is new confirmation of every thing we were taught by Mello. Have no doubt, we will be there for the advent of victory is all its glorious manifestations. Small and large, changes are coming to bring up into the line.

And a Woman

"A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist."
-- Louis Nizer

On, and Off

A good motivation is what is needed: compassion without dogmatism, without complicated philosophy; just understanding that others are human brothers and sisters and respecting their human rights and dignities. That we humans can help each other is one of our unique human capacities.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama


Saturday I went long; out early to cruise up Park, head west on Griffin, to Stirling, south at the Seminoles and finally taking the long stretch east on Thomas and home. Over 10? And just enough to let me know that my right leg and hip are getting pushed to the max again....I would have liked to go long again this morning, but I really want to avoid injury. So I didn't- maybe later, a short jaunt out and back just to stretch out my legs.

Modulating training is tough to do! I've been running at high intensity for a long time now, without any significant breaks for most of the year. The uber/ultra runner in me doesn't want to take any limitation...after all, if Dean can run everyday, ultra long, why can't I?
I look at myself with as much realism as I can stand. Every runner has a vision of who they want to be; faster, stronger, more flexible, or like me, more 'in sync' with the various levels at work, towards a harmony of performance and feeling. It takes time and effort to achieve any deep change, and yet, like my clients, every little step in the right direction is the right direction. I have to balance my vision as invincible, as guided by spirit, with the reality of physical work. I step outside the door of 'awkward wanna-be' which was my self-image until running, for everything about me physically, to another way of perceiving myself; potential, development, opening my capacity up for change.

We don't know what we prepare for anymore. Is it just a marathon? Or is it the next stage in our worldview which calls up this morphing of purpose? Do we recognize the road we run on as a way out of ourselves? And if so, do we always find a better us? I sense, for me, the tide is just now turning. Driven ambition is settling down into practical purpose, a ready stance that says anything is still (and always) possible. As the strands of chaos drive closer into the matrix of the zeitgeist, leaping into the unknown has never been more rewarding. And fun.

Hard Rain

It didn't look that bad, before dawn, low, horizon-hugging clouds, obscuring early light, dark, mysterious, grim. The air was too heavy. Over and under the interstate looping west by the time the sky, shifting south to north, brought the rain....softly, hungrily, and by the time I turn at 58th, more steadily. Tucking in for the ride, I am only halfway through, and rounding east again brings greater intensity. I am soaked; lightening and thunder is crashing to my left, every block seems to turn the tap up and up.....I confess I tried to bum a ride, without luck. The crashing booms began to unsettle me, but there was nothing I could do but keep a steady pace to make it home.

When it comes down to each few feet, and there is no visibility, when the very atmosphere feels like it's swallowing me up, there is a strange release from disciplined form or effort. It's a surreal trek into old trails towards unknown destinations...it takes me out of the present and into strange parallel worlds. So I may have been soaked through and exhausted, but it was adventurous and wild.

Wednesday Long Run

"Independence is the outstanding characteristic of the runner."

-NOEL CARROLL

After recovery day Monday, and a short session of hills and drills in the Park Tuesday, I was itching to get out there and really tuck into a long run. Began before dawn, over the overpass, turning south and eventually west out Arthur. That little rest did me good; the air was clear, warm with a breeze, and the sun, as it began to wink over the horizon felt great on my back. Turning north I decided to go all the way up to Griffin and make it long...I had a yen to see that stretch by the Med. examiners and see if I had it in me to cruise that far....of course by that point, I was pretty burnt. Anything over 8-9 miles begins to tear me down, so the last mile or so I broke up with a few short walk breaks. But by the time I made it home I felt light, strong, victorious.

It takes a certain temperment to love all this. I described running to someone recently who thought it sounded 'crazy'....and had to laugh at how the perception of running never matches the experience. At certain stretches today, it was definitely a feeling of blissful effort. No, it's not easy. There may be runners out there who casually lay out miles, who can run without discomfort, but I doubt that's the majority. Most of us pay a price, but we also reap the rewards. So like anything in life, we are confirmed by the work in real results.

I listened to the radio last night on the way home from work, an interview with an old rapper turned minister, who gave his 'Word'...it was something like this: God will confirm your right efforts through results. The marketplace can't validate you because there's a price to everything. But God is Love, so She looks for a way to support every positive step.

I watched the debates and thought about the times, the energy pouring into progressive and regressive ways of coping with problems, as the parties represent themselves through their candidates. All along I saw a leader of the future offer his calm, rational insight. The old guard, old news, was still worshiping at the altar of his old gods.

It's tough to be independent enough to see past the propaganda machine and reach for our own good road. We take a risk each time we go out there, to reveal our true selves. The time is coming when real results will catch up to us in real time. Then the changes will take us like a tide into better times.

It takes A lot of Discipline

This from my supervisor, asking about my running....
I never realize, until I hear myself talk about it, how much discipline I really have. And why the surprise? Can you imagine what it took to make wood carvings so large it took half a year or more to complete? To enter college after 17 years and complete not just a bachelor's but a master's degree in 4 years? I am the poster child of getting it done, no matter how 'right brain' I seem. And this has always been a contradiction in how people perceive me; they assume, from the side of the artist, that I am "free-spirited" (which I am), and easily distracted (can be), consumed by impulse and whim the way artists are traditionally viewed. What escapes them is the ENORMOUS discipline of the arts. And how organized our thinking needs to be to accomplish anything. Creative people are amazingly prolific. Whether they're work is any good is another issue. But to PRODUCE, you must know how to muster the forces within your mind. Running is just another extension of what I do naturally.

So, yesterday. My intent was long runs this weekend. I woke Saturday to rainy rain rain.....and decided to put the run after the folks' visit, which I did at Hugh Birch. I really needed to clear my head and get out of my usual 'hood, and this ended up being an excellent thing. I did 3 great loops of the park, using my training flats I keep in the car, and without the ipod (rain, rainy rain), focused on form, pace and pick-up. It was glorious. Since it kept raining on and off, almost no one was there. The surreal silence of nature, all few acres of it, tucked away in the middle of Ft. Lauderdale is surely one of the best gems we have. I felt magically transformed from the mind set of unending obligations and humanity to the peace and rhythms of the winds, water and birds invisible in the brush. I had amazing moments of ease despite soreness, and just really enjoyed the hell out of myself.

Today, I finally took that long stretch between here and where N. Park ends....then connecting left, and right to hook onto Griffin, down to Stirling, 64th, and home across the unending stretch of Thomas. Not sure of the mileage, but I would estimate 10+ easily. This was not such a great run, dragging ass mostly, but towards the end, again despite the agony of getting there, a lovely transcendence and steady gait home.

It takes a whole lotta discipline to pull off positive change, no matter how big, no matter how small...and I realize, from working in the field, that many folks have to learn this skill. When I watch my Dad, I realize sometimes where it comes from; his unbelievable capacity to manage even when he, himself, is down for the count, or beyond resources- he somehow manages to find enough resiliency to get there....is it really any wonder I am the same way???

Go long, and have trust in your inner resources. We never know what we have until pressed; the pressures of the times will surely bring out many incredible things as people find themselves enduring long past their comfort zone, and ultimately, past mere survival, living creative and well.

Cool and Clear

"There is nothing quite so gentle, deep, and irrational as our running - and nothing quite so savage, and so wild."

BERND HEINRICH, Why We Run: A Natural History

I had a shiver coming out the door today; have the temps moderated at last? The entire run, 8 miles, was so much more comfortable, as I quickly warmed up, feeling that lovely cool air against my skin. The sensuous side of running is apparent in changes- especially cool downs, since it heightens the senses and naturally quickens pace. I found myself better able to get alert and find a stride, focusing on visualizations of light structures...the pyramid holon, a field of dancing molecules which helped me cope with the final miles and feel a sense of motion that came from imagining my own and the atmosphere's physical properties winking in and out of each other.

We have new information coming all the time about the changes and times we are in. A new Hathors reading came in yesterday from Tom Kenyon and it confirmed many aspects, seeking to remind us to keep our own light and energy high through vibrational frequency work in appreciation. Dave's Little Book of Hona speaks to the same theme of blessing everything, thereby enhancing it's positive potential. So I found myself, quite naturally, extending my focus to the clear bright light, the wonderful feeling of the air, the long straight road, embracing all with my gait, my motion, my smile.

We are in for a wild ride, no doubt. But whether it comes about as pain or pleasure, or the space between where we surf the wave has so much to do with each of us. Set your course, and your purpose and let your natural resiliency support you; They watch, and assist and ultimately wait out our fate along with us.

The Rest of us Stop because we're Tired

"Every day, I stop halfway through my run for five minutes, look around, and enjoy the surroundings. I'm reminded of why I do this and why I love it so much."

-ANITA ORTIZ

6 (gym) on Monday. 7ish out on the road Tuesday. 8ish today, starting before light, and slogging through high moisture, humidity and density...I was as soaked coming home as if I'd been swimming. Unreal. Rounding the corner towards Arthur, the sky, which had been stretches of gray, opened in pinwheels of pink and orange, as somewhere deep behind the atmosphere, the sun rose. It was a strangely unsettling sight; it looked staged, and while I was still trying to get awake and find my stride, the surreal nature of Nature fell upon me like a strange vision. I run, sometimes, through the atmosphere of early morning with a combination of this dread and mystical love. It intensifies the solitary feeling, the sense of risk and adventure. Adrenaline eventually kicks in, and by the time I let loose westward, I have embraced the rhythm, and my mind drifts elsewhere...

Odd cramping, today in my left calf. I am doing lots of stretching/light weights at night. But I confess, that by the time my day is done at work I have very little left that isn't squandered on the floor, the couch, the bed.

There are ebbs and flows; there are waves. We are watching them now. Let's see how the Powers that Be surf their way through to our future.