Inner and Outer Work

"To exercise at or near capacity is the best way I know of reaching a true introspective state. If you do it right, it can open all kinds of inner doors."

-AL OERTE

The first few miles this morning, looping long over the overpass until Arthur, was tough to sync into; my right thigh has been cramping, I did 4-5 miles easy yesterday, so I have not taken a day off for a while. I fought it, wrestled with it in my head, kept driving it, shuffling through the ipod playlist until I hit on a few tunes with just the right BPM and pace. Once I stopped at Anderson for water, I was able to harness a little more energy, and rounding out towards the east I finally found the groove. The light had come full on, after clouds obscured the sunrise. The cool air felt wonderful, invigorating on my skin. My legs opened up to a nice, steady rhythm and I felt the aches and pains recede...In my head, the joy of movement obliterated the challenges, and after another mile or so, I was taking each block in a flurry of motion...feeling great, strong, alive, boundless.

I kept this up for the entire last miles....it was maybe 3-4 in that last stretch on high gear. I could barely shuffle to the TY park entrance by the end, but even just a little walking had me recovered and loose again. I don't often push this hard, in training or in life. With class about to start, and the caseload kept high at work, it's an unusual time of intensity. It's a ripe time for fears, doubts or insecurities of all kinds. Can I maintain focus, progress, strength, clarity, endurance...all the attributes I need to make it work, make it successful...And yet how many times have I encountered unusual levels of challenge, pressure, deadlines....this is not new. This is my forte'. I forget I am the master of challenge and transition. I make a goal, and it's not "how", it's "when". My years of carving taught me how to perservere; my own recovery journey has provided inner strength and fortitude. Running just puts it all on the road, that's all. Just one more way I train my body and mind to support the Spirit within, determined to Make it Happen.