Emergence-See

When I give myself a day off running,  like I did today,  I tend to fight through a round of initial feelings;  guilt that I'm not running ("Marlon is...."wink), relief that I DO get a break, trepidation that in a day I will lose my ability, endurance, strength.  Irrational sure, but that is the way of our strange and out-dated beliefs.  In fact, from a viewpoint of true connectivity,  of listening to my body,  alternating run days is a wise idea.  I may have fantasies of being an uber runner my self.  And I STILL maintain that with everything in working order I CAN.  But that time, apparently is now right now.  Even with 'NOW' being the only moment there is...That's a homage to the Shift we are in.  A reminder that every aspect of this experience 'runs' concurrently.  So there is a part of me basking in the late afternoon air and light as I sit at my back windows.  The picture is my view o the left of my little sanctuary,  the porch.  Notice the spinach in the container; there is also an avocado and papaya tree (thanks Mike F for that great find). 

Another part of me scans my stiff, achy body and knows a good little run would feel great (afterwards..haha),  and is the part inducing guilt...come on,  you could if you just would.  It's an easy out to have a 'rest day'....Marlon is out there on the trails today.  Have you figured out my cyber runner bud Marlon is my running hero?  And of course Dean K.  And Crash who dips and dives into running with open abandon.  Or Jim who will run the ultra and clear the trails too. 

And yet another me is trying to come to terms with aging itself, and this deep need for rest!  Wow, how my parents morphed into me, or me to them.  My father really tried to stay active in elder years.  He golfed, he liked walking malls etc....Maybe mom not so much.  But I protest this inevidability with every ounce of resistance.  And often I wonder if I waste a lot of energy.  Look at many great artists, writers etc etc who stay creative and active, look at the Dalai Lama.  He is mid-70's, like Vitae was.  70's are killer years!  Look at Mello, post 100.  That says it all.

There is no doubt that behind all this some new version of us is emerging.  Sometimes I feel it is so new I'm not sure to even reference my past much any more.  I test my every thought for hypotheses that have run their course.  Such presumptions we have as people;  the record shows for itself that reckless abandon,  in the context of divine imperatives,  are the reality.  For we may anticipate, maybe even be prophetic - but whatever will unfold is still just that next moment on the road,  and still as unpredictable, as new as the next moment truly is.  It's 'the will of the gods' as I like to think, when suddenly I 'sync' my way into the run, or the inspiration at work is available for me. Or conversely when I surf the waves of chaos that could take me, or any of us down- into shamanic descent, or hell our choice I guess.   The intersection of so many energies, changes, shifts and pressures is no joke.  We may bask in our routines, or even our tired desperations.  But I keep feeling that whatever is stuck on us now is about to be flung off and away like the chrysalis.  There are major wings to be spread.  The Shift is gonna hit that fan.

When you are out and about ask the world to reveal itself to you.  Not the traffic, the radio, the time crunch.  See what the light is doing around you, and how the atmosphere, the winds, cold, moisture, the trees adds, like a color,  an instrument to the canvas/chorus of your day.  THAT is where Spirit is trying to reach you,  past the cacophony.  Mother Nature is talking to you, coaxing YOU, the real you out of hiding, from behind the old beliefs, and all the distraction.  There is a New World emerging.  Be part of it's grand and conscious unfolding.

Adaptation

When I hit the roads yesterday after work,  the skies were crystal clear.  Beautiful bright Sol was streaming down, painting the clouds in their late day colors.   As I walked out for a short Griffin loop, I only had about a good hour or so of daylight.  I put a little jog on as I began my cut through the quiet streets (holiday for others), and headed through the trailers, up the over pass, through Ravenswood, and headed south again on Park.  Running after work is a considerable challenge, oh yes.  All day using my body to support my head constantly looking at computers,  listening to people...my respite is running through the hallways to find person A or B....(like I did on my old unit, 'running' up and down our corridors for clients).  So you can imagine, when I ask my body to really RUN I get protests.   I get a creaky, tight short gait; I get a "wha???" from my feet, my legs, my hips.  It feels like I am back in my early running days when going several blocks,  a mile, 2 miles was such a triumph!  The difference?  I can tell I am a 'real' runner because my breath is good,  I really do not tire-  it's always my legs/feet/hips that give way eventually to walking my way home.


By the time I rounded out past the park,  the evening clouds had wandered in like parked airships pointed towards the sunset, morphing colors as the daylight bled out to evening.  I felt that coolish air filling my lungs, and the painted sky luring me deeper into endless wonder:  how did I manage to find a place on this planet where climate is a boon, not a bother?  Where everyone else seems to struggle against winter, floods, volcanoes and earthquakes- every imaginable condition.... we bask in the warmth, the heyday of sub-tropical splendor!

My office has no windows.  I hole myself up in my role as co-boss, and channel my creative skills into the endless series of projects and interactions that seem to make up my day,  just a few steps removed from the grand Out-of-Doors.  Running is still-and always- my way back into Mother Nature, and I can tell She misses me!!  Our love affair continues in different circumstances and timing, but our passion always runs deep!

Many of my uber runner friends continue to race and rack up impressive distances and times, while some like me struggle with adaptations.  I put myself out there to get the support I need to help keep my motivation from failing me altogether.  And you are there,  my friends, my family who follow all this running drama,  you who know it is not just some exercise routine.  It is my life-saver,  my meditation,  so much a part of my spiritual path it has been with me in some form (long expeditions into wherever) since childhood. 

So if you are struggling to adapt to 'new things',  as I know many are,  I prescribe a trip out into the arms of Gaia, on your own two feet.  Take yourself out for a date with Nature and notice the amazing skies,  the trees waving at you on the wind,  and most of all, absorb that beautiful light which grows in strength every day as we grow closer to Cosmic Mother and Her Galactic signals.  Show YOUR true colors today and shine!

The Gods/Goddesses Speak

(written 1-30-14)
Catching up  to my Self and Cosmic unfoldings;  M flares, plate movements, amazing weather extremes...uncovering the ancient histories, the real truth of how we were all duped, complicit, into, and emerging from the Matrix.

Meanwhile, shifting through the portal of personal changes.  I honor the Teachers I am leaving behind, while I step into the Golden Rays of opportunity for becoming who I am meant to be, and the amazing culmination/continuation of all my experiences,  all the diverse skills, under a new moniker "The Communicator."  Watching the back stories, agendas, subconscious scripts, vulnerabilities, disabilities, eruptions, redemption, possibilities....It's just another big 'ol stump of beautiful wood, an ancient tree, poking through the riverbed.  Embedded within hides a new potential, the shape, the form seeking it's expression (wood carving days.....).  And I 'know' the way in to reveal it.  I know how to 'see' what that emerging/organizing pattern(s) are. 

Often I actually DO blank out the 3D world and SEE these torus-like patterns;  and when my focus is really sharp it is very clear.  This is the case with my clients, and to my great relief it appears to be the case on the new job as well.  A powerful, intuitive tool which enables me to connect to the inner 'structure,' the 'flow' and help shape it to help reveal the inherent (beautiful) outcome. (Remembering 'beauty' is beyond our judgment- beauty is the 'necessity' of the material world...)

Personally I want and prefer to believe that my own Self is inherently capable,  just like all  else, of organizing itself.  After all, I am ALL/ALL is me.  However,  as Self asks for my cooperation,  then I am compelled,  in day-to-day life,  to do all I can to enhance it's efforts!  What else?!  Why would I want to hinder the expression of a 'Highest/Best' outcome,  a Win/Win?  And yet I see people do this all the time, and I am called upon to help them AUGMENT, not sabotage,  their own inherent healing/growing/becoming/blossoming process.

I have the skills now.  THIS (whatever 'THIS' is),  is a 'special assignment.'  And this mission,  which I decided to accept with Mello and the Sun Temple but really accepted many years before that, is about finding the way in to reveal and support  the inherent organizing patterns, the Growth seeking HIGHEST/best expressions...in the very midst of The System,  and bust it wide open....(grin).

(written 2-1-14)
When I finished out the work week yesterday, and my first month on the new job,  the weather was kind enough to clear out and give me a gorgeous sunset to follow westward as I looped out and back, and a great excuse to capture the whole visual experience in pix.  In fact,  after 3 or 4 miles done,  my initial 'umph' petered out, so I walked most of the way back turning constantly to catch the next shot, as I headed east.  I felt the 'trance state' that is my 'surrender' into Mother Nature's artistic expressions....I 'insert' myself;  I 'see' those patterns and colors weaving and morphing through their sequence from daylight to evening.  I forgot about running...I was moving through the descent of darkness and the mystery of Night.

I see it as Power,  as Passage.  I was near tears over many aspects of what we are all going through.  And they were not just tears of sadness;  after all leave-taking, even from our old Selves, or what we hold dear, is never easy.  I caught too the ecstasy,  the bliss of feeling ONE with what I saw and where I was,  moving steadily through my run/walk and the electric air, through the fading light.  Suddenly I was not anything BUT this beauty. 

 This is the gift ART has given me in my life.  Mother Nature schooled me.  I am still and always Her devoted local representative.  And on this, another bench mark day (Imbolc), I give homage to Her Wisdom.  I am grateful beyond all measure to hold a piece of the Puzzle in my own two hands.