Xmas Long Beach Run 2011

Florida skies are Enormous!  They fling across in wild speculation of colors and patterns like old kaleidoscopes broken open, full of mystery and delight.   This special morning was no different, and the ocean anchored the sky of today in a most pleasing way.

The skies always inspire me,  the big vistas ever changing remind me of Things Bigger than my ideas, thoughts or beliefs...Bigger than the planet, bigger than my imagination of the universe....as if the patterns flung over my head are hints of amazing free-forming alliances of All Things in motion...as I was in motion on the run.

It was extraordinarily quiet...almost no one to break my focus as I made it across Dania, down Surf road and across Sheridan.  I was as light and carefree as the winds gently cooling the sweat from my arms, and whispering in my ear....the year is almost done and a new one about to begin with all my dreams, as usual,  ready to fly.  

Find your Big Dreams under your tree this year, tucked in your heart.  In 2012, let them fly...let them find their homes in your future.  Happy Holidays to all!

For Those Who Left us in 2011

In the craziness of the times as we wind down the old year,  it finally hit me that I am coming up on the year anniversary of Mom's death,  on New Year's eve last year (yes, technically 2010).  It feels as if it's taken much of this entire year to adjust to Life without the Parents....and the aftermath, emotionally, of the last several years of Mom's decline.  I still have a very tough time looking at those last pictures and the smells, images and emotions which come with the whole post-stroke ordeal....every time I think of my parents in their present state I chuckle a little, imagining the dynamics they must work through to resolve their complicated relationship, their own life lessons and to determine what comes next.  I hope they hover close at times;  I still miss the affection my mother was able to show no matter how tough her situation or how awful she felt.  I was always her "baby doll", and we never saw each other without a big hug and kisses. 

This is the time of year when we all take time to join together with whoever we feel is our 'family', whether biological,  vocational, spiritual....our 'tribe' will always be those with whom we feel the closest affinity of the heart.   My mom was a most heartfelt woman.   She gave me the counterpoint of dad's sometimes volatile personality, and embedded in me my core compassion for the struggles and hopes we all share.

To those who went on before us this year,  to the ancestors who are paving The Way forward,  who listen to us in the night and stand at our shoulders when we cry....we send our prayers and best wishes...we love you, we carry you on in This World, our world, always.

Love and miss you so much mom. 

Long Beach run 12-18-11

After the relative ease with which I pulled out Saturday's run,  I wasn't sure what to expect for Sunday going long.  In fact I was completely undecided about route, length, time etc until I actually began walking out the door.  And like an old horse who knows its routine,  found myself heading east for my (now) usual beach loop.  As it's been pointed out to me,  why not focus on the half-marathon? which is more or less what this loop is now...my weekly half-marathon!

I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day!  The skies were finally clear of clouds, low winds, and plenty of full on sun.  Chilly at the start, I shucked my over-shirt by the second mile and was still not quite awake until I hit Dania and saw the bridge beckon to the beach.  I felt slow, and my endurance was down.  I stopped a few times for water and to break the run;  and at every point I could I gave myself an 'out' if needed.  I can turn back here- I can loop back through here....but I've begun to crave that Sunday morning commune with the ocean,  waiting for me like a loyal friend when I show up and shower Her with my awe.  It is breathtaking every time to walk up to the point when I see the surf begin to crash into the shore and welcome the morning sun rising off the water....churning in Her emerald and olive greens,  the smell of brine and the winds welcoming me as I meander down Surf Road to North Park.

It wasn't a bad stretch to this point, and I enjoyed my pit stop before heading west, unfortunately with the winds in my face.  I've developed a few new discomforts:  a cramp in my right calf for one,  forcing me to slow it even more until I came to my usual turning point to cut south.  This time,  down to a walk I just hoofed it back on Sheridan and with a few intermittent jog stretches, mostly walked home.  Once again it's hard to say why some runs come off without an issue and others are challenges on many levels....whatever I've done to create consistency in my routine,  my energy flux is such that I suspect Bigger Forces are influencing me and everyone else.  As energies accelerate globally it seems we experience the impact in unpredictable ways,  as physical discomforts, as mental fatigue,  as emotional bumps and swirls which can have us wonder what is going on...!

Often times when I'm still far from home and the run has me beat,  I focus on "one foot in front of the other"  parsing my attention down to the lines in the sidewalk,  the pit-pat of my footfalls,  the beat of the music in my ears.  Our breath, the engine of all Life and connection with the Great Universe,  can itself feel like the only anchor to earth and will ground us if we pay attention.  When I aim small,  sometimes the world unwinds itself within me,  and the grand scale of everything seems to fit within my every step - until once more I make it back Home.

Feel your breath today and the footsteps you take to traverse the world you inhabit.  Each moment takes us further down the road,  a little stronger and wide open to the wisdom Within.

Long Run 12-12-11

Blustery, drizzly, Mother Nature threw her smorgasboard of elements at me as I headed out for my Sunday long run.  All the way up to heading out the door I was unsure where or what distance to tackle, given the impact of last week's 'half-marathon' training....but once out decided I like the visit to the beach every weekend:  so off I went heading east, into the winds.

So once more I settled into a long, resistance stretch, working into a gear that I could maintain even out on Dania Beach Blvd with the winds slowing me to a near walk, as I made it over the bridge and down onto the beach.  My energy was holding and as always, the ocean spread Her shifting surf and skies up and down the wide open coastline, shimmering in hues of turquoise and emerald in an ever-fluid dynamo of change....My thoughts falling open to the gains and losses this week, the success stories and the tragedies,  including Mike,  felled by the disease of addiction.

I took my time at North Park,  filling my water bottles and taking electrolytes and a few 'chews' to keep my stamina up for the ride home, and headed out over the Sheridan St. bridge.  The photo attempts to capture a rainbow as it hit the clouds just as I made it up the rise:  the shot taken through the plastic pouch I stash the iphone in on my belt-  even still, look closely;  can you see the faint bar of color just on the horizon line?

Buoyed by this delight, I got a nice rhythm going heading west and the busy stretch of other runners and bikers passing me on their way to the beach.  As I made my cut south I settled blissfully into sunshine and solitude, enjoying my meandering way through the parallel neighborhoods as is now my habit,  chatting up a few kids as I passed by,  appreciating that each time I do this run,  it feels a little more 'normal', comfortable, doable until I come again to my connection to Taft.  Just as I made my turn,  the skies opened with swathes of heavy, blowing rain!  I tucked into my hooded top and walked the last miles home, pummeled by the wet winds,  coming up to my end point like a drowned cat - happy to have a hot shower and big breakfast waiting.

As much as I'd like to make my long runs predictable by controlling the miles or route, making the challenge familiar and routine,  the world has a way of throwing creative chaos into our well-structured lives.  Within the di-urnal cycle,  the expression of weather and the elements outside and within our bodies gives us the nuances of physical experience.  There is something reassuring about throwing oneself into this, while knowing the structure of home, etc. supports us.   Even the ups and downs of work and relationships are contained within the knowledge of cycles as they continue to unfold.

Mike,  I would have stood in your way if I could;  I would save you from yourself.  I ran with you heavy in my heart even as I knew your wife and family cry for you, miss you.  In the world you may now inhabit,  I pray for your soul to find it's way into the Love you've been looking for all this time.  And be free.  I run on....

Nature Heals

After hobbling around the unit yesterday,  I decided to space the week's runs with a day off today:  as in,  no running, no nothing!   It's a rare day when I'm not incorporating something into my fitness routine, whether it's my usual training runs, yoga or working with weights (small medicine ball, my favorite fitness toy).    Physical and emotional burnout can come upon us, athlete or not;  when we notice the increase in irritability, malaise, lost stamina, it's time to 'tune in' and 'drop out' of the normal pressures we place upon ourselves and however possible, recharge.

One of the biggest reasons I run is to take myself out into Mother Nature's wide world.  Here in spectacular South Florida,  we are treated to a full-color spectrum all year long.  Even when overcast,  the sub-tropical clime provides a glowing landscape of color and light.   Inside my home base,  I grow an assortment of plants.  I've been a "plant person" since early teens when my mom allowed me to co-op a house plant given to her;  before I graduated high school, I had overtaken an entire south-facing room full of plants (the same year I also read Secret Life of Plants, possibly one of the most influential books for what unfolded in my life in many ways).  In most places I lived up north, I had extensive gardens;  indoors plants provided 'green space'.  Down here,  land and garden is the top of my 'intention list':  for those of you in my area, be aware:  I am actively seeking a little piece of heaven to cultivate into my own therapeutic compound!

Plants, from my humble geranium above, to the big oaks in the park or the palms swaying in the winds, not only feed and sustain us,  they transform us with their capacity to display themselves in their intrinsic beauty, and how they adapt and relate to their environment and each other.  The 'green thumb' is the intuitive sense of tuning in to plants and working with them   Many folks become completely disconnected from Nature-  grow a plant and cultivate a loving relationship with a living being,  take a walk in a park and stroll through the greenery;  your soul will thank you and your Spirit will sing!

So today, as I rest from physical training,  I appreciate the silent beauty of my plant world.  As yoga teaches a mindful position to activate inner energies,  I can absorb the essence of plants to calm and ground me in the world.   Tomorrow, its back out on the roads and a peek into the Great Outdoors where Nature lays Her banquet for all to enjoy.

Repetition and Resistance: Long Run 12-4-11

From here on out,  all the miles on the Plan are longer ones.  With the past few beach loops coming in just under half-marathon distance, I decided to repeat it with a bit added to see if I could become more comfortable with 13ish and thus have a half-marathon within my reach.  I headed out at dawn into a very stiff wind blowing off the ocean and directly into my face as I made my way east, then north to catch Dania Beach Blvd and the cut down to Surf Rd.  Since resistance running is like hill running,  I knew this was good for me,  and I had better stamina with it than I've had in a while.  The blustery, scuttling clouds kept changing the landscape of light-  and the few runners and bikers did not look any more energetic than I was.

But there was the ocean, and the path south, the surf crashing high and the music in my ears drowned out with the onslaught of winds.  I was still feeling ok and made it down to North Park in one fell swoop (no Publix stop today!).   As I took my time rehydrating, filling my bottles, etc,  I stretched and headed out up the intercoastal bridge.   The wind, now at my back, gave me the extra push I needed to keep up a decent gait as I made the cut left to catch the back streets parallel to Sheridan.  Here I meandered an extra bit to once again pick up Taft and come up to home.   I walked some of the last miles to cool it down, as the sun, now full up, gave me a warm second half.  Taking my time, enjoying the views, with the wind, pit-stop and all,  I made it in about 3+hours (better!!).

A straight half-marathon (13.2) mile shot is about what my body feels it can handle without ultimate meltdown.  Sure I might be able to keep extending (and no doubt I might try a time or two).   But what I really look for is enough of a long run to really challenge me without killing me- and let's face it,  won't take up my whole day!  And better still,  once home and onto my chores etc,  I noticed much less 'complaint' from my body.  Tired, yes.  But not, as sometimes happens, completely done.

Working with resistance means accepting what direction the winds are blowing, and knowing that a change in direction will come along, either on Nature's side or our own.  When in those first miles with the wind in my face it FEELS as if it will never end;  I am being pummeled and 'punished' by these winds!!  When in fact the atmosphere is on its own schedule, and running into the wind is making me pretty strong!  Repetition gives us mastery.  What felt impossible a month ago is now pretty comfortable, as the experience of staying in motion 13ish miles is beginning to feel normal.  Lots of running, like life, is about transforming the strange and new into the 'new' normal.

I'm happy that lots of things are synching up into new routines, which I need to ground and stabilize the inner circus which is in high gear sorting out the world's affairs.   Now I can say I feel my Center returning, and the conviction to keep it simple during the wrap up of this year.  For complicated me, this feels pretty amazing.