In the craziness of the times as we wind down the old year, it finally hit me that I am coming up on the year anniversary of Mom's death, on New Year's eve last year (yes, technically 2010). It feels as if it's taken much of this entire year to adjust to Life without the Parents....and the aftermath, emotionally, of the last several years of Mom's decline. I still have a very tough time looking at those last pictures and the smells, images and emotions which come with the whole post-stroke ordeal....every time I think of my parents in their present state I chuckle a little, imagining the dynamics they must work through to resolve their complicated relationship, their own life lessons and to determine what comes next. I hope they hover close at times; I still miss the affection my mother was able to show no matter how tough her situation or how awful she felt. I was always her "baby doll", and we never saw each other without a big hug and kisses.
This is the time of year when we all take time to join together with whoever we feel is our 'family', whether biological, vocational, spiritual....our 'tribe' will always be those with whom we feel the closest affinity of the heart. My mom was a most heartfelt woman. She gave me the counterpoint of dad's sometimes volatile personality, and embedded in me my core compassion for the struggles and hopes we all share.
To those who went on before us this year, to the ancestors who are paving The Way forward, who listen to us in the night and stand at our shoulders when we cry....we send our prayers and best wishes...we love you, we carry you on in This World, our world, always.
Love and miss you so much mom.
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