Yoga Day

"A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else."

STEVE PREFONTAINE

I put running clothes out last night knowing my body was fatigued, allowing myself the 'out' if needed after running 4 days straight, Sunday through Wednesday. I dreamt last night about continuous plots of boundaries....of attempts to 'get me', and measures needed and taken for protection. This tells me that I am in the thick of many psychic pressures, not the least is putting my body through rigorous work-out. As Rodney Yee likes to say on the CD, "let the body be quiet."

So I did the entire routine this morning, both parts, and began to feel the slow loosening of areas that were trying to hold onto their tension, trauma, sensitivities. I grounded, stretched, breathed my way through every position until the sense of strength and peace enveloped me. It is difficult to sustain; the opposite of running which is a controlled falling, throwing into a rhythm; yoga is about placing and sustaining strength, control and release.

I have the deposition today, and need all my wits about me. I don't usually have to go this deeply into my cases, but it's for a good cause- this client deserves my extra help. Meanwhile, I have others who want to hold me responsible for their distress, and attempt to hold me hostage. I recognize the theme, and the work of the dreams to bring to my attention the need to hold my ground. I am learning, through practice of both intense effort and controlled release, to find that delicate, and necessary balance. Each moment, it's up to me. No matter what is said, or done or considered, I have only myself to hold accountable, for keeping my focus or losing my way.