Giving it over

"When your inner eyes open, you can find immense beauty hidden within the inconsequential details of daily life. When your inner ears open, you can hear the subtle, lovely music of the universe everywhere you go."

-Timothy Ray Miller
Cognitive psychotherapist

The ipod wouldn't work this morning, needing a good charge I suppose, so I headed out for my run with the chatter in my head and the early morning mix of dawn rush, more cars than I like, bird songs, dogs out in their yards, a few other walkers and runners. I've been feeling stretched and stress with the chaos at work and the chronic uncertainty of our status within the budgetary process, and the projects due for my class, the paper especially calling for a massive catch-up to technique and strategies it's been 11 years since confronting, in grad school. How to cite web-sites? How to organize the massive amount of information for a 10 page paper? What part will the presentation play in how to explore the material? What about time? There feels like a deficit somewhere in my planning; no matter how much I anticipate the work, once I settle into it, more mushrooms through lack of practice. There are 2 weekends to pull it all together, and somewhere in there I'd hoped to see the parents to check on Mom, and maybe personal time for just a little recreation and TLC.

This was the nature of the chatter as I made my way west on Arthur, working through the soreness I created in my quads this week with too much time on the machines at the gym Sunday. Somewhere along the way I reached out- or in- to another level of connection where suddenly the context of my concerns became contained in a Greater Force...and I had the feeling of just needing to release it over, give it over to this process. My gait began to sync with my breathing which fell in place with my foot-falls, and pretty soon, the tension began to diminish.

I rounded out the run with a good kick at the end. It was sore, but strong- and I kept my faith that 'steady as she goes' will accomplish the miles I hope to log for the week, and the prep for the class work that needs to be done by weekend's end. It's hard to remember the Process is only partly in my hands, and the tapestry, which is the combined work of so many forces, is a dynamic and creative one. Trust the beauty of of creative outcomes; lessen control. Know that my best interests are at the heart of the universal Mind, and relax into the Spirit of Love.