"Running makes my life whole."
-Julie Frodyman, runner
Sunday 10ish, Monday 7-8 ish, today 'hills and drills' in the park. I'm in a serious dialogue with my inner demons who try to exhaust me, dishearten me, shorten my attention, my capacity, endurance, my reach into the future. I feel heavy with dread, and loss of control. I use the tools of pace and stride to remind myself that I can. Running the hills this morning, I prayed for Her to help me help Her do what needs to be done; and as I said the words I forgot about my pain and fatigue.
Everyplace else is the press of voices vying for my attention. I found the column of light in my morning meditation and was able to feel the rush of release as I sensed the connection with great surges of calm. The translation of our reality into words is so dicey; the misunderstandings, the sloppy translation of intent. I am constantly wishing to edit, to be heard, to be known. Maybe the lesson is that at the most fundamental levels it does not take words- it takes active Presence.
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