Increasing Tolerance

So don't be in a hurry and try to push or rush your practice. Do your meditation gently and gradually step by step. In regard to peacefulness, if you become peaceful, then accept it; if you don't become peaceful, then accept that also. That's the nature of the mind. We must find our own practice and persistently keep at it.

-Ajahn Chah, "Bodhinyana"

The holiday weekend has not gone exactly to plan. Whatever is ailing me physically is not done with me yet....I keep at a holistic approach, spending the last few days running and resting, sleeping as much as I can. My energy is still low, and some sort of low-grade something is still making my throat and sinuses sore. Yesterday's 9 miler was a good one; I had hoped to top it with a longer run today. But between inner and external factors, (a blustery, drizzly day) I think I may pass on that.

Increasing tolerance for everything seems to be the mission. For setbacks, mistakes in judgment, for suffering- my own and others. My usually impatient nature is under the gun to let it all go along any timetable. The trouble is, with Miami now 2 months away, I am feeling unusually anxious about the marathon. I am not where I'd hoped to be at this point. I would need to ratchet up 10-13 miles more on the long run in order to feel I have a hope of staying on my feet. The question is, do I push for it? Or do I lower my expectations and do the half? The beauty of this strategy is that I can do the full marathon for Ft. Lauderdale, instead. The bummer would be having to cut my annual commitment to Miami, skipping to next year.

Good to know there are options. Increasing my tolerance for allowing the shape of my life to create itself with gentleness, wisdom and compassion is tough!! Don't think spiritual 'right thinking' is for the weak. It takes tremendous strength to stand on your own thoughts, and at the same time, allow the Powers that Be to work their magic in our lives. For now, we strike compromise and truce. I allow myself to surrender.