Heavy

I dragged my ass and my heart along for a slow and sluggish run this morning. The changes with my folks and all the decisions, consults, emotions and energy kept running along side me like quicksands, pulling at my feet, loading down my arms, laboring my breath. I was dog tired. The weather has a blanket of heat on it, even in the early dawn, and the humidity is present. Spring, that beautiful elusive season rare in south florida appears to be done with us, as our typical hot, muggy and runner-unfriendly weather returns.

I did the Griffin loop, rounding out at Emerald Hills just in time to hit a bit of a stride in face of unexpected wind. Maybe it's the resistance. But I rallied a nice stretch and tried to keep my focus on my form, a means of associating with the positive physical aspects of the run, testing shoulders, hips etc against an inner imperative to keep the gait going. It was good, too, because I finally felt a lessening of tensions. I have not lost the burden. The transition of age, which brings its awful and inevitable losses, is upon us. And like the marathon training, it has just begun. I am only now ramping up for bigger things to come. If I don't watch it, I will lose the ability to endure, which I have worked so hard to achieve. Worse yet, I risk good management which comes from keeping a perspective. I tell myself to remember the Big Picture, the Highest Purpose, the Keeper of my soul which will accompany me where ever I need to go, whether on the run, or on the Path. And, yes, them too.