A Lot Flow, a little Ebb

The Dalai Lama is speaking with Tareek Aziz (please excuse sp.) on CNN tomorrow. 50 years of Chinese occupation will certainly be in review. Good.

I took a novel approach to training this morning, parking my car at the gym, running to Griffin and Publix, and back, then weight training and elliptical. Even at 7AM the temps registered on the digital sign by Angler's Ave, 81. I would normally go long over the weekend, both days. I really need a strategy for this heat. I can see, this is going to be my big obstacle to mileage.

I kinda liked landing at the gym, and taking my time through some weights, stretches. Watching the big time gym rats, the ladies at their class, the trainers circulating with their clients. I forget this was one of my old part-time jobs, when aerobics and baggy socks with those body-hugging leotards were the thing. I forget that I have been at this physical fitness thing a long time.

At the conference yesterday somebody talked about how 'the times' means they will deal with 'stress' by eating what they want when they want it. I scoffed until today when I realized this is my outlet too. Difference is still choosing for health. And I feel perfectly fine, if tired, the manic-melancholic swing of events leaving me tumbled on the floor like the laundry that piled all over the place. A small place, a myriad of messes, projects, intents.

At the conference yesterday I realized, walking out, that 12 years of my life, dedicated to getting all the right letters after my name and calling myself what I am is finally upon me, and how the rhythm of our lives follows such mysterious currents as it resonates with the openings left in our doubt. Where vision enlightened the way for a new life, hard work had to make it happen. But there were the same words, I read them, from the old days as if they were yesterday. How my understanding came so clear! How excited I was to find the ability to knit things together. How wonderful to share what I feel and watch others take the chance for new insight and understanding.

At the conference yesterday the presence of the path, of doing NSU and the class- for licensure- for the Big Picture of my independent career and mission, was offset by the family. And the sub-plots of personal life. But really what I find myself daydreaming about is getting back to those long, lazy loops out past University, down through Hollywood, around the downtown Ft. Lauderdale circuit, the beautiful escape from responsibility to deep need.

I need to be moving along. Whether ebb or flow, waxing or waning, I need to muster the energy to fall deep into myself. Only the call and return of that Source seems to link me to ultimate purpose. And the pattern of these instruments as they blend the path that is me.