Seeking Serenity

So it only felt like 20....according to a mapping site what I ran this morning was 15....very hard to believe....felt like much longer.
But at least it didn't rain.

I woke with a sore throat but determined to get out there, pushing myself and my weary headedness to take on the challenge of the long Griffin loop out to University and back...(15?? really??). It wasn't pretty. And I walked portions. Guzzled more than my share of water, drinks, chews and gels...cramming enough electrolytes to get me through unexpected heat.

I felt suddenly without thought or ambition as if all the energy spent building and piling on through this year has been escaping through a slow leak like a tire going flat. My heart, which has been pitched about in storms of distress, demands and disappointments suddenly felt empty. It was an old ache, a realization of taking on my own road again, and telling myself it will be ok, I have the endurance, I train; I can take it this time.

But where is the serenity of knowing that deep solitude is bound by love? It is always back to the Source, I suppose and the wondrous imperative that keeps me forward-footed. I can only hope that the path They lay before me has enough surprises to keep me coming back for more as I weave my own notion of accomplishment, of dreams into the fabric of Their expectations. Be kind, Beneficent ones, and tell me, after all, it goes somewhere, leads to surprising love.