Going for Refuge

I listened to a podcast about buddhism this morning, a talk by a guy from the British Isles (Irish? Scots?) practicing for over 30 years about various aspects....I drifted in and out...his accent was so soothing I found myself having trouble focusing on his concepts...or I would riff off an idea in my head and realize I had wandered off into my own experience of something before returning to the talk....All this time I'm running up and down the hills at the park, in very chilly 50's temps. But the sun was strong, the air clear and I felt- if not fluid, then certainly very glad to be alive...

I love buddhism. It appeals to the mystic in me who craves my own experience of the process of life as the spiritual path. Everything the speaker touched on has therapeutic roots, and I had the sudden realization that buddha was in some ways the first true psychoanalyst, the first person who committed himself to find an answer to suffering..."think of him as the first chic who broke out of his shell and now helps others to break out of theirs..." - This after my client described a magazine photo she keeps of a chic being held in a man's hand to remind her of the fragile, new state of her healing and the compassion she needs to care for herself.

I certainly find myself striving to approach everything with greater patience and compassion. Even running, which had the obsessive tendency to push me into high stress with high miles has become a less cumbersome practice. After all the New Age circles I have traveled, it seems to boil down to the few things I do that steady my boat in the storms. Running, which gave me confidence and power within myself, was my key. Running, which said I could move like anyone else, as fast or slow as necessary, brought me back to basics. I cared for myself because I cared for the goal. Now the goals are still there, but not as important. What I cherish now is the process.

Going for refuge, according to the speaker, is when you make the push for change. When you know you are ready to open your mind to something bigger. Being ready is my middle name. I am on my way, always.