A long time ago, I dreamt that an elephant came out of nowhere to help me escape danger, and I've never forgotten that feeling, or sense of connection with something from the Indian spiritual path....last weekend I saw an amazing PBS doc about it's history and felt I must have lived many lives in that atmosphere it resonated so strongly with me spiritually, artistically, culturally.
I slogged through my hills and drills at the park today. The pressures are upon me Big Time between training for the half-marathon and the sudden change in physical status with my Dad and therefore my parents' situation altogether. Not to mention the consistent hum of clients and agency politics at work....Last night I found myself not sleeping- again- and shouting in frustration to no one "why am I not sleeping???" even as I knew the answer. My brain will not be silenced. And comfort is not a commodity that I have. Will it take a Ganesh to come along and carry me through? The physical intensity of the run usually helps, but this week I'm drained and uninspired.
In some other parallel world, the elements of soulfulness inform me. I can feel it as if I were reaching out through the veil of this world. It's knowing this that enables me to retrieve my long vision and have patience with the ever-present process of change. Agents of care, of creation and dissolution are all about. My job is to see each day through to the next, and let that knowledge shine as a light from within. It's the many colors of art, the beauty of the inner world which does it. Generating the energy comes from the run. Hopefully, as the next weeks unfold, I will find that, and marry the internal and external efforts more seamlessly.
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