After taking Friday as a rest day, I acted on impulse and packed my gear for the long loop on Key Biscayne. From the bottom of Bill Baggs State Park to the entrance of Key Biscayne its a 16 mile loop. And it was a beautiful day! I started a little after 9 AM, with enough of a breeze to offset warmish temps. As I drove the route in, I tried to scope out my run, where the construction would constrict me, and how to navigate the bike paths coming up to the first bridge. I felt just fine as I cruised through the small, enchanted downtown of Key Biscayne, with its pictureque bus stops and well-heeled shoppers, rounding up to the highway where all I can work with is the bike path. I decided it was prudent to have them come at me instead of from behind; so I ran on the left side and had the view of both traffic and cyclists as they came down the road. The advantage was having full knowledge of how much room to let loose, and when to make way. The stretch up to the marina was uneventful, and I felt strong. The first bridge, which is long and shallow, gave me my first glimpse of open water, and reminded me of why I love to run here....and on I went heading for the Rickenbacker.
I figure it must be about 6-7 miles in when I hit that massive bridge; I can see it from a distance as it hovers up and over the water like a great hovering bird, and each time I see it I wonder how to conquer it. By the time it arrives, I mentally fall into the rhythm which will move me up and up -and up until I can see the top and open sky....the way down is just as taxing, staying on the gait, trying to keep my legs from flying out from under me as I take to the rest of the straight-away and the entrance gates....
Turning back, it's apparent my legs are pooped. I try an easy loping to give myself rest, but I have the Rickenbacker once more, a punishing climb, then a stop after I cruise another mile to the frozen lemonade stand. I cannot run distance without calories; the frozen lemonade gives me sugar, the sourness to clear my dryness and the cold when I'm overheated. I slurped it as I loped another stretch, and discarded it as I hit the second bridge. On the other side was the highway stretch to the city....running the bike path, focusing on my gait, it was a brutal run....my legs felt leaden, heavy, my feet hurt...its not my endurance, its my body that causes the problems....I don't seem to run out of oxygen or gas, I have to contend with the aches and pains in my legs.....
I make a mental note....I am 12-14 miles....this is so much less than the marathon distance I begin to feel the deep abiding fear that nags at me, that I will not be able to complete.....I need to get back to my car and know there is only one way it will happen, so I knuckle in to my pace, my gait and keep going, through the main city blocks, out the other side and there, gratefully, is the entrance to Bill Baggs. It was a strangely long mile into the park and to the car. When I tried to stop, it was difficult, and I almost couldn't walk for a minute....I had to loosen my legs for a while by walking in the parking lot....and even then, I felt run over by trucks....
So by doing this long loop on Saturday, I haven't one planned for today, Sunday, my regular day. I mapped out long loops between now and 1/27, to get between 15-22 miles....I'm not sure what I'll run today....feel like I need to get out and do something.
Not sure what factors to consider; weather is unseasonably warm. I'm working long hours (translation: sitting long hours at a time). I've been having fluctuations in diet, eating lots, eating less, hungry all the time. Aches and pains in general, especially neck and shoulders, increasing. I have a call into a sports massage therapist. I hope this helps.
I suppose its natural to become faint-hearted when there's nothing to depend on in previous experience. I remember last year preparing for the half, and feeling it was just as impossible. But it's still difficult to run 13; I've NEVER run beyond 18 (in the 30K)....so I am truly in unknown territory....
There are many people, young people, old people, men and women, running first marathons. They are not extraordinary by most standards, except for believing in the potential of their abilities and love of taking a good risk. What is so different about me? I am definitely out to prove something to myself. It's the biggest physical challenge of my life. Where my intellectual skills may have gotten me through very serious challenges in my life, what I learn in this pursuit is how strong I really can be, both physically and mentally. Emotionally, I have created a buffer with the world that comes from the satisfaction in my own efforts. I am pleased with myself, proud of myself. There may be no one tracking or mapping or cheering me on day by day, but I have my supporters, and I am just grateful that when it comes down to it, I am able to feel the great freedom of every run.
Running for fun, for fulfillment, for peace.
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