Cold Run

We broke heat records this past summer;  we are breaking cold records now.   Not sure what the low was last night;  I had it in mind to run no matter, so I didn't really care either way.  The photo shows just some of the ridiculous measures I have to go through...long tights, tank, long-sleeve micro tee, fleece hoody and over all that a wind-breaker.  And gloves.  And ear protectors.  As I set out, I took my time walking to get my legs to warm up.  There is something about rolling out of a warm bed, and into a frigid morning which challenges the strongest commitment.  At the same time, with my hood around my head, the music from my ipod made me feel as if I was sunk deep into a cocoon of sound.  The strange, mystical quality of it all was enticing.  And such is the motivation which leads me on...

I had plenty of chances to amend the plan.  Somehow it felt right to run up to the Winn-Dixie as my pit-stop, then on to the 'T' at 56th to meander down, across Sheridan to pick up Thomas home.  It may have been a pretty modest 5+ miler, but somewhere on the 56th St. stretch I began to have that niggling feeling of timelessness that comes with The Zone, and a nice rhythm to my gait.  The compression tights feel wonderful:  they really help support the legs, keep out the chill, and help me sustain what would otherwise be more difficult stretches.  Too bad there isn't something for warm weather, but that is a fantasy for another season.

The week of settling into our new offices demand I keep myself balanced with enough Nature to remind me, 'this is not my whole life.'  What I don't like about the new building is its fortress-like feel.  Once inside the warren of hallways and offices, stairwells and cameras,  we scurry like hamsters around invisible hurdles and wheels trying to get our jobs done.  I have a window, and a decent view of a not so decent neighborhood (so my clients tell me, and they know!).  But the moment I get to leave, the air seems to flood back into my lungs with relief.

There is something about the open air I have always craved; even as a child, never changing through every chapter of my life, whether stuck inside jails, other institutions and offices, or living on the land.  Running satisfies my need to be out with wide skies above me.  It puts me in some perspective with the rest of the planet and helps settle my seemingly endless concerns with the body of larger issues pulsing around me.  I feel solidarity with sentient beings whose only recourse is to 'endure', grow and be.  The many trees I come to recognize, the bird-life... Having even a little while to just move along in the landscape is my Right Brain anecdote to left-brain stress.  Try it:  next time you feel the world is caving in on you, take a walk in your favorite spot and breathe in the free air.  Your soul will thank you!

Back on the Road

It was unusually humid and warm, anticipating the front which has wrecked havoc further north, and promises to bring an end to our unseasonably warm temps by tonight.   I took the Launch replacements out for their maiden run.   Once again, I realize how many miles I put into a pair of shoes;  with every new pair, my feet say "thank-you...!" and I get a reprieve from the aches and pains of the old ones.

My mind was free to wander where it needed to go;  there is the work upheavals, as we move to our new offices on Sunrise.  The chronic pressures of clients and focus on the many crises of others.  Hanukkah arriving, and the disconnect from the usual family;  sitting with Mom on Sunday chit-chatting about the Jewish decorations, this after she comes out of "church" services, and our mutual eye-rolling over prayers to JC. 

Dementia is an interesting thing.  In her timetable, there is no difference between the living and dead.  Our weekly check-in on this subject surprises her every time with the litany of who's gone before her (she is the last...).   Seeing her fleeting shock and her head shaking trying to piece it together, wondering why she cannot ultimately free herself from her imprisonment in this mind and body. 

Most of the time when I run I think about the contrast between my mom and I, and how much she used to comment on my way of being;  where she was the passive, the accepting one, I was the aggressor- I had no problem setting out for what I wanted to do- my issues came with the situations that then befell me.   Nevertheless, very little got in my way.  When I run, I recognize the same amazing single-mindedness.  No matter how tired,  discouraged or old I may feel I know it is only my 'opinion' and subject to change.  Therefore, running is how I 'change' the mental landscape.  By allowing myself proof positive that I CAN indeed run, and usually further than I think I can, I automatically use this tactic with whatever else I feel stuck on;  what can I revamp in my thinking?

Obviously I take a page out of the meditator's handbook;  the gift of meditation is in cultivating the awareness of thoughts and the space between where thoughts are formulated - or dismantled.  The use of running as a meditation technique is not unique to me:  there are many others who use moving practices like yoga, martial arts to achieve the same results.  Some are sitters.  Some are movers.  By dissociating THROUGH the body, I allow my mind to 'take off'....now I gain some perspective, and in the mix a nice endorphin/dopamine hit.

I feel like I take my mother with me into the world, she who seems content now, to never move from that hallway, that room, bed.  One day, she will take her own lead, and drift out of my life...and I know I will be so happy that we've had all these heartfelt connections, lasting us forever.

Happy Hanukkah-  kiss your loved ones, light the Lights....remember Freedom. 

Sunday run 11-21

Capturing the run today, after a slammed week-  5 days at the regular work gig,  and now the 6th day at Pines.  Yesterday I saw 5 clients/families back to back, listening, engaging, finding more room in the infinite mental vault for more back-stories, emotional/defense patterns, family systems...the enormous minutiae of the counseling profession.  It takes tremendous presence of mind to juggle what is now 40-50 clients all together;  is it any wonder I continue to use running as my place to unravel the mental apparatus, and give myself a Right Brain break?

Today, the weather was unusually moderate; after a coolish spell where the night temps dropped into the 60's, it is back to small modulations, meaning now the nights are 70's, and starting out today I was warm in my summer gear.  I decided to take it one part at a time, and after heading out Emerald Hills, took the southern route over to John Williams as the main pit stop.  The 2 day break (a regular thing now that Saturdays are booked) seems to give me a necessary recovery period, and one I probably wouldn't give myself otherwise.  I notice less chronic aches and pains, even if my endurance is down.
I had several nice stretches up to JW, then down to hit W Park and make my way home.  On the way I realized I am ready to accept that this is NOT looking to be the year I'll do Miami.  Instead,  it looks like a far wiser plan to sustain moderate, regular miles, allow my body to continue to adjust to all it's various and sundry mid-life, elder physical adjustments, and give myself the run as the RB break it needs to be. 

As long as there are so many other professional 'pushes' in my life, and with Mom and the condo project still ongoing, the need for attention to the down/rest side of my life is paramount.  I've had 15 years of pushing towards many Big Goals which took all my time and attention.  The time hasn't decreased, but now the goals are shifting once more.  The stress of training can be one more 'thing'...and most of all I need running to be my Refuge.

Sunday long run 11-14

Just some of the amazing things I see on my Griffin loop....I never take for granted having the opportunity to run in a climate that allows me to see this 365 days a year, and revel in the modest temp ranges.   The beauty of my environment 'calls' me out every time just for the pleasure of the run.  How can folks run on treadmills, in the gym???

World Run Day at Hugh Birch 2010

One of my favorite spots, it was great to see Hugh Birch state park, now green and lush after all the heat and rain this year...a gorgeous hideaway on the east edge of Ft. Lauderdale, and staging area for my homage to running this WRD.  When I first began to run, I used to come here to feel at peace in a deep pocket of Nature while learning to ramp up my endurance and miles.  For this year, it was an easy, breezy 2 loops with the few fellows who joined me, conversational, convivial, with all the great stuff a group run has going for it- cementing our love of running

The fact that we ran at the same time as the NYC marathon was a nice bonus;  and though I haven't yet read the whole story, our elder hero Haile had to bail at mile 16 giving newbie Geb a surprise win- the Ethiopians still rule!  It goes to show how much can change despite our best efforts and expectations.

Once the boys left, I did a lazy final loop with my camera, catching all my favorite little spots, the magic that makes this park special;  from the intercoastal, to the wild little patch of woods, and sunlight drifting through trees now arcing their way across several stretches of road...the bladers, the bikers, and yes the runners circling their way round and round this oasis of bliss.

We run, us roadsters, to get OUT and into the world.  To experience, on foot, the relaxed attention of taking things in on the move, meandering our way around.  Jim was the real champ- running TO our meet-up over 9 miles, then leaving to complete his designated mileage for another oh, 13....no biggie to him!  You are a real inspiration, Jim!  Your relaxed attitude reminds me that no matter what level I choose to run at, it must retain this core of unexpected pleasure- or else there's no point to it for me.
I have time this week, to organize my runs with a bit more thought to the miles.  But it was good to share the road, and the passion for running with kindred souls.

The Time is Right

Left/Right Brain

While the Reds celebrate their ongoing corporate take-over of democracy (excuse the political rant), Higher Forces are apparently pulling us onward into a direction that will inherently utilize the amazing capacities of the Right Brain to adjust and adapt Wholistically.

It was many years ago in my artist days that I first felt a psychic and intuitive understanding about my life mission;  that what I was able to do/access naturally was a Process that can be augmented and encouraged in others.  As a child,  'natural mystic',  a 'sensitive' and artistic soul who felt more at home in nature, with art, music and books, I knew there was something I was connected to that kept me alive on a broader deeper level than most others.  My path in life has led from one stepping stone to the next, as part of the alchemy of my own development in the healing arts.  First, though I had to learn to live with my own left brain, and forge an alliance between the two hemispheres, which often worked at cross-purposes and created the many 'symptoms' of my younger years.

The times have conspired to lift us all into an awakening of consciousness and awareness- not just of ourselves but of our global reach and responsibilities, our place on Mother Earth and within the very Galaxies.  Where mind and intellect can sometimes grasp the concepts of change, it is heart and soul which leads us into new places.  The Right Brain, as holder of the Big Picture, and its ability to 'translate' experience in ways which anchor it to our personal purpose, is coming into a greater role.   We have 'demonized' the feminine, intuitive, instinctual, cutting ourselves from the font of meaning.  If ever there was a time to galvanize your creative, intuitive self, its NOW.    Whether your means is the arts, athletics, interpersonal or spiritual, take this opportunity to GET into YOUR RIGHT MIND!

There is unprecedented 'help' from unseen and benevolent forces which seek our safe passage into the future.  Tap into them.  Tell them your secrets and dreams.  Write them, paint and dance them AWAKE and seek the highest vision of yourself, your families, your world.

Long(er) Run at Last

This piece was done in '09, an homage' to long runs, specifically the Dania Beach route I used to do in preparation for MCM.  The stretch on Dania Beach Blvd, before the Intercoastal and the beach used to mesmerize me in a kind of blanket of atmosphere;  the briny smell of ocean, crustaceans, sandy soil and sprawling vegetation mixed with the impression of fog and mist....thus the image of -just that.  Those long runs used to take me all the way around the greater Hollywood area, east.  Today, it was just a taste of that as I wound around the Griffin loop...setting off pre-dawn, welcoming a rising sun in clear skies, setting a rhythm in amazingly moderate and pleasant temps;  not chilly, not warm, but 'just right.'

I know it sounds old, but my constant ambivalence about the Miami marathon continues.  I'm enjoying these runs right now and know fully what it would take to ramp sufficiently up to 'marathon training' and the necessary miles to handle it.   Working 6 days a week, adjusting the new reality of my physical changes (post-menopause) and trying to interpret my attitude and willingness has put an ultimate decision on hold.

Somehow I'm no longer a fan of 'forced' or obligatory running.  I may be rationalizing- and please tell me if I am- but as time has now caught up with necessity,  the idea of 'mandatory' runs are beginning to change my attitude towards running for the worse.  It's been about 7 years now;  working from pure walking, to 5ks, 10ks, half and full marathons.  I am a turtle.  I do not run for speed.  I love the 'theater' of races, the democracy of group runs.  But deep down I am a solitary runner just as content to take off for whatever route beckons and as far as I'd like...my dreams are still to find off-road places where quiet trails or roadways will bring me that lovely loneliness that the long-distance runner craves.  The space for wishful thinking and dreaming of all kinds...the chance to stretch out tired legs, weary mind and let loose into a rhythm of movement.

If anyone can convince me to grab on to the marathon, I am open to your feedback.  Meanwhile, see you on World Run Day at Hugh Birch Park - Sunday Nov. 7 @ 9AM.  Don't forget the gate fee.  And whatever you do, ENJOY THE RIDE!