adaptation

What factors cause changes in performance, attitude and approach? And how much to you fight through it all to force strict adherance to your training intentions? Saturday's 9-10 miler was rudely interrupted by a thunderstorm midway, as I rounded the middle stretch by the Seminole reservation. Luckily, the rain never got too hard, but the winds picked up and it blew really cold, so that last half was a miserable and tough affair. Sunday, I just didn't have it in me for anything...and much as I felt 'obligated' to get out there, I finally took a pass. I had to get over my guilt which was out of proportion to the criime...lol...So finally, by afternoon's end, it was put up my feet and enjoy my well-deserved rest of the day slug-fest.

Today it was back to 7. And I felt like crap the entire way. So apparently my body is trying to adapt to 2 weeks of 40ish...a big leap up the mileage ladder for me. Is it time to regroup, and let this mind/body of mine catch up?? We run and run, pushing ourselves towards ephemeral goals that mean something only to us... and yet at some point the rest of us needs to be on board, or else the disconnect will stop us in our tracks. The fractures in my heart must not translate into any breaks in stride or bones or spirit....this is the only thing that I have some control over and which no one can tamper with; this is my sacred, if moving, space.

smoke and mirrors

what do I see through the smoke and haze, trying to achieve some clarity in the midst of meeting goals....I completed 40ish miles this past week, a first! a real disciplined push, and now I know this is possible. Yesterday, Sunday, a very difficult 9-10 with a stop around mile 6 or 7 when my lungs began to feel heavy...I am way underestimating the impact of the smoke. I see today there are more winds; so I'm hoping this means a shift in the air currents and therefore, we are not the funnel for this haze anymore. My body continues to go lean but has not complained too much, surprisingly. The old trouble spots are still there, right hip, ankle, but as long as I go smooth enough and long enough, things seem to settle themselves out. Strength and endurance seems to be the key. This week, I'll keep to the 7's, and see how the weekend goes. If I keep it within the 35-40 mile range, its still good, its still where I need to be. The important part is my mindset is all 'go'!

On a roll

May has ushered in warm and humid weather, so even a run at 7:30 is hot hot hot....apparently, if I am to get serious about this training, I may need to keep inching up that time earlier to accomodate both the distance and the temps...SIGH...getting home late from work, trying to rest and regroup and get the sleep I know I need, this will be tricky business indeed.

After Sunday's mega-10, and a day off, I've pulled out 3 days in a row of 7s. And have paid for it with a wicked toe blister that regrew each run. I haven't had one in a long time, and chalk it up to the sudden heat and humidity with the more constant miles. Not to be deterred, tomorrow will be another rest day. If I pick it up again Saturday, I can still meet my goal of a comfortable 35-40 this week. (we'll see...)

I've needed the push...the intensity at work has been killer, and although I usually review cases while I run, this week I try to just get lost somewhere else. Not sure where I'm going...its definitely a "running away" these days, which for me is probably a good thing, since I tend to take it all home with me in my head, always my weak point as a counselor. Maybe that's what I try to do, run hard enough to put enough distance between me and what I do....to get to that lovely moment when I transcend the aches, pains and constant chatter of crap in my head....beautiful weightless calm...I never could meditate in any traditional sense, I always needed to be moving, and now I have a clearer sense of this as running develops. As a child I walked, explored endless roads and trails around the neighborhoods just to get away and find space for my thoughts...this pattern has never changed...

Solitude is harsh. At the same time, it saves my life. In the depth of being alone, I find and transcend myself, and stumble upon safety in motion.

Loop de Loop

Yesterday, I conquer what I thought was impossible, after looking at my 3-D map of Ft. Lauderdale; I run a loop from Hugh Birch State Park, down A1A by the ocean, to 17th St. Causeway for a good look at the cruise ships, up Federal to downtown, under the underpass, right on Broward to snake through side streets on to Sunrise, east to the Park. 10.04 miles. One pit stop before the causeway, a mini version of Rickenbacker, and after juicing up with a gatorade, not a bad climb...I didn't know I'd already done 5 just to get there. The underpass was surreal...the sounds of traffic and swooshing feet (mine) echoed off the walls and in my ears against the music from the ipod I cranked way up...the total cacophony helped drown out the thrilling edge of fear that drove me down into the well and then back up, running all the way, a steep climb. Meandering the side streets off Broward was a nice reward. I didn't realize Holiday Park, and the war memorial were near there, as I caught a lovely long stretch on its right side, little traffic, straight up to Sunrise. By then, (mile 8ish?) I was spent. It was mid-day and HOT. I don't know why I run like this...I know its counter-intuitive to run in the heat. In theory it doesn't bother me. I like the feel of the sun beating on me, and easing my aches and pains. But it's draining and hard to beat the dehydration and chronic thirst. I think I have some notion of training my body to be lean, to be hardy in the 'elements'; of course this is humorous, because I stink in cold, I wimp out in anything below 55 LOL....I guess I want to beat what the Florida stereotype is all about. I rounded into the park on empty but managed a walk/run that last half loop by the intercoastal to the car. It was a lovely thing to feel I had accomplished what I imagined. All this is my way of testing......can I train for that marathon? I have to multiply this by THREE. I have to imagine that loop almost 3 TIMES to equal the approximate effort of a marathon.....but I also need to remind myself that NEVER in a thousand years would I have imagined a run through that underpass at full speed, on a 10 miler in Ft. Lauderdale, flying through the city as in a dream. Did I dream I was a runner once? I must have, all those years I walked. I must have felt it, that one day I WOULD fly, travel a little faster....there is no feeling like it, to roll along at one's own pace, with one's own thoughts, watching whatever the world presents as it goes. If I keep at it, If I keep those loops nice and long, longer, I can piece together a training and keep moving towards that goal.

Running does a Girl Good

West Virginia April 2007
Not bad for 51

train to race or train to run

With a beautiful breeze at my back, I managed a big kick at the end of a 7 mile loop. After the trip north, and 2 days of hills in Michael's neighborhood, I'm trying to get back to greater miles and wonder, do I train to race or train to run long, just for fun?
If I go for the marathon, I have my choice of Miami or Ft. Lauderdale at the end of the year and early '08. Can I get it together all this year? If I can do the half now, can I do a full by then? It seems impossible to be on my feet for 4-5 hours, knowing the pain of 2-3. Is it just a matter of persistence, consistency, building building building more and more strength? I suppose there's only 1 way to find out.

hope and heart

Spring in south Florida. Ran a hard 7 miles today to a new podcast that kept the tempo high. My new shoes, birthday present to myself, were awesome. Good run.