Remembering Ourselves

Most of this holiday weekend I spent picking through the detritus of my life in this condo, 13 years of building a career, a practice, becoming a runner,  transitioning through the deaths of Aunt Rose and my parents, and leave-taking the significant others who tried to make me stand aside from my heart.  Like many places I've lived since The Barn days,  cave-like protection seems to be the aim, with space so small it feels I can touch the four points of the condo and reach through the walls, like a cell meant to develop whatever inner resources I needed.   Depression dogged me, and fights with my own physical body, going round and round until becoming comfortable with the routine of the run, and eating so well I could diminish symptoms both mental and physical, almost to none. 

The weekend has been full of signs and wonders.  Of course today my sync between phone, ipad and blog doesn't want to cooperate,  so I will try another time to include the amazing pix of full moon,  burrowing owls and others.....

Meanwhile,  today I remember who I want to be,  who I am in the making....through all these years of what seemed like turtle steps,  peeling away the layers of perceived limitations and the impact of negative introjects from family, from the past, from my own neurotic view of myself.   Diana the Huntress has always been a goddess near and dear to my heart.  She runs along with Her 'familiars',  deep in the hunt for Herself,  blazing a trail that others might find in the moonlight.  Taking Her cues from the wind, listening to the prompt of Her heart. 

I ran long yesterday,  a beautiful beach loop, and today woke without plan; but feeling the call to get out on the roads for a last leisurely loop.  An email from dear Lisa caught my eye before I headed out, reminding me of all the good folks out there who are, indeed,  following that trail.  As I ran,  I had more lightness in my heart than ever:  we all need to remember who we are.  You never know who is taking your lead,  who notices when you stumble, and learns from your mistake;  who might be waiting by the wayside just for you  to come along and breathe new life into their effort along a rocky path that you make clear because you pointed out the obstacles along the way.  Remember, you matter most.  Without you,  there is no story to tell of your magnificence.  Without you,  there is no one to tell their story, to witness each dream, each memory strung like pearls, like stars thrown across the wide sky.