From the mid-winter stretch of record-breaking highs and lack of rain, a cold front is making its way over the south Florida area, bringing the morning temps down to the high 50's today, ready to get even lower this weekend. Taking my time out the door, hoping the temps would moderate enough with the sun, although hidden behind a blanket of gray clouds....the winds carrying the chill as I start up Park at a fast walk, determined just to move, and breathe, and move....
My body is ultra-sensitive to environmental factors of all kinds: smells, noises, temps, humidity, winds or lack thereof, or industrials, and chemicals, the pressure of other people's energies, etc etc. In childhood this was a constant source of friction with my father, who thought I was making it all up just to piss him off. In adulthood, I am also often misunderstood and called "too sensitive" by those whose constitution is tougher than mine (and believe this type of experience is some sort of whiny cop-out). Running gave me a way of addressing and stretching this every time I go and place myself out in Nature to take whatever She's dishing out. It's a way of 'training' myself I suppose to make my peace with the physical world beyond my joy of perception...and ground myself into/with Mother Gaia.
I watch myself walking up Park bracing against the cold as it penetrates even through my new windbreaker, contracting inward, stiff and pissed, wanting sun, wanting relief NOW even as the runner in me knows, there's a loop to do, we're doing it. This mental process of relaxing and easing into the run goes the same way every time...the initial inner protest eventually dissolving into the run itself...until up on Ravenswood I caught a nice rhythm and ran it slow and easy up to my Publix pit-stop.
Nothing stays the same forever, except Love and Spirit. And even They must shape themselves around the same imperatives, the pendulum swings which serve to benchmark our rhythm in life, from light to dark, grief to joy, distance from Self to intimacy, the exquisite wonder of our own pace, our own time through the loop of the day, the week, the months rolling into the years which bring us Here, Now, ready to do it all again in some new and unexpected way.
Running frees my right brain to dive deep into all the questions which could crowd the enthusiasm out of my daily routines, giving me the outlet to 'exhaust' them until all I have left is the feeling of lightness, of lift, of living on the razor edge of earth and sky which is where the runner lives....half-way off the ground.
You may think you know what's coming: as we pay our taxes, activate our political/social agendas, care for ourselves, our families, friends, walk the Planet, drive our cars, consume what we think we need or want or wish for what we are told is impossible, unrealistic....take a minute to review. How much did you anticipate where you are now?? Could you imagine the magnitude of it all? For LIFE is so much bigger than we ever grasp. There is no meditation, no guru, no master man or woman who has it ALL....therefore, expect what you cannot predict or imagine in the best of all possible worlds...it is MORE than that! Expect the unexpected and pay attention- the miracle will appear: any day, any moment now....
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