2012, Opening the Way

While Florida copes with a brief cold spell (by our standards) to begin the New Year,  I am back in the swing of work and feeling my way into this mysterious 2012.  I took plenty of time during the holidays to reassess many things about my approach to goals and life in general;  and once more finding that age and experience is on my side, quieting the hormonal and emotional storms,  settling the impatience, frustrations and irritability,  putting my perspective on Big, Long processes which help me see my place in the Scheme of Things without stressing how it all turns out.

After a stretch of successful half-marathon-ish long runs,  I found my body complaining, aching, and felt full of fatigue.  I read an article recently about the guy who broke the Guinness record for Most Marathons completed in a year-  it was well over 100!!!  And he was 67!   It remains a complete mystery to me why some people have the ability to run ridiculous distances, or races and times and others like me struggle.  Transforming from schlubby little Jewish girl into 'athlete' has been a process which continues to reap enormous benefits and challenges.  I WANT to do Miami marathon morphing into  'maybe I can pull off the half'  is now becoming 'do I really want to race?...or am I just trying to revisit past glory?'

The same with professional and personal goals.  My former inner Control Freak would like to imagine the Power to make things conform to my will...I've been a big Will person....It was Will which took me from college drop-out and artist/hippie to achieve my educational and professional goals, and make a life here in the sunny south, to be here for my parents,  to continue serving my community.  Over the holidays I had a breakthrough about Flow and heeding my own 'Right Brain' advice:  to let things flow, develop,  coalesce, evolve- to heed the inner momentum of psychic activities which are finding their own way into my future:  my part in The Plan,  my piece of The Mother's Story.

So I enjoyed my cold runs this week.  It was tough and it always is, just to get going,  keep warm, sustain the effort.  But as usual,  there are those magical moments when it feels like I am about to take flight and my gait suddenly seems to ease into a rhythm of grace.  My mind open,  my body swinging freely from the vortex of my insides.  I might do that half.  I might skip it too.  Either way,  I resolve to employ 'radical acceptance' into my running, work and relationships.  Be Who You Are...and let the Pervasive and Healing Forces upon us take you where you are meant to be.  When we drop our resistance,  it's all miracles from here.