The Light of Fall

South Florida has a subtle way of shifting seasons.   If you are out midday, it would feel like any hot, humid summer-like day.  But in the early morning,  fall is bringing a slight moderation and breeze to the air, a welcome relief.  What strikes me most is the change in the light;  as if a shroud of mist, hovering from the intense heat and humidity was lifted, and a surreal clarity returns to highlight every leaf and shadow.

I walked a good bit of today's Griffin loop.  Now that I am back on my 6-day/week work stretch for the foreseeable future, my body is trying to keep up the pace overall.  In racing, I am was is kindly referred to as a "back of the pack" runner;  ok maybe not ALL the way in the back, but my gait is slow and easy.  The runner in my head thinks I am going like a bat out of hell.   The reality is my aging body struggles to keep a rhythm going these days.  On really slow days, like today,  I just throttle it down and walk.
On better days,  I am keeping some good stretches.  But this is not anything like my past training performance.  Clearly,  things are changing- again.

I've been deep in a shamanic/meditative space leading up to the High Holidays, using a "30 days of Elul" from our friends of the Daily Kabbalah to contemplate the year past- and ahead.  Despite my lapse as any kind of ideological or practicing Jew, I subscribe to the moral and ethical teachings I grew up with and come to appreciate more and more in my life.  The New Year is more than a celebration;  it is intense soul-searching, to come out into the new life of the new year with 'accounts balanced', and a sense of preparation for the new growth ahead.

Kabbalah asks that we put our principles into practice, and focus on changing behaviors and attitudes that keep us stuck in negative patterns.  This sounds exactly like the CBT and RET type of interventions I've been focusing on with clients.  It is always easier to see the places in some one else which calls for attention, and change;  it is far tougher to turn the lens on oneself and expose our own vulnerabilities and decide where we are ready to grow.

Running is an ever changing experience for me, and like today, humbles me to appreciate the limitations of the material world despite my lofty and idealistic vision.   The trick seems to be how to hold onto Vision no matter what the limitations may be,  and the faith that somehow the manifestation of our latent dreams are bound to find their way into our lives.   Too many things have emerged in my life not to believe this is true.   But the trust to stay true to our intent takes the greatest work;  we are waiting - and praying- while the New has already arrived.