The bright and shining image of my kids from beijing was my greeting for 2010. The medicine card said "The Bear" and took all the threads of my endeavors into a tapestry of confirmation; to cultivate the intuitive vision, to dwell in the Dream Lodge, to seek the eternal answers inward to reach my goals.
Yesterday, I took the spontaneous opportunity to run mid-day, perfect and moderate temps, slight cooling breeze, sun. I have focused on easing into 5 milers until they become more solid, and this time, slightly extending my range toward 6-7 as I wound around from my pit stop at little Anderson park and looped up to Emerald Hills. I found an outlet for my questions, i let loose my fatigue, frustrations, yearnings of every kind. I found a few stretches of nice speed (for me), where the rhythm of my stride produced that kind of hypnotic comfort which comes from the mix of entrainment and percussive pressure on the flats of my feet. Running produces a near perfect self-acupressure; you can alter the footsrikes and strides to feel the vibration through certain muscles and areas of the body....sometimes I deliberately work on constrictions and yesterday, a very stubborn part of my foot, which has jammed since MCM, loosened.
I flew.
I cried, I remembered everything that's happened this year, in a kind of whirling review of scenes which flashed through the light and skimming clouds and caught me unaware of anything, everything, as I followed the rhythm- up, and down, up and down, and down.....dad's death, passing the exam, the marathon, losing would-be love and loves of all kinds....finding the core of my commitments, not giving up on myself. On my dreams, my goals.
Every morphing of my life has brought the essence bare to the work of my every day. Whether the gods see fit to give me happiness, joy, love, I am ready to value the gem of my soul. I resolve to set it free.
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