Lost in Hollywood

My first class at NOVA began this weekend, putting a big crimp into my running schedule....3 days of sitting under flourescent lights were incredibly tough, making me stiff, irritable, and at once exhausted and antsy. I realized how much freedom I have at work to get up, down, walk the building, the halls, and do whatever I have to for keeping in motion when I can between sessions. By the time I came home from Sunday's class, it was still afternoon; I threw on my gear and hit the road thinking, I need to put in a long run while I have the time.....

I head west. I use the park just west of Sheridan and 441 as my first stop and contemplate my options. I love the stretch that goes west from the Seminoles; its low traffic, its straight on to University, and I can pump out a good pace by then with plenty of juice in my joints. By the time I make it to University, I have probably put in 6-7....and refuel. I decide to loop south and catch Arthur St. back east, but when I head down University I mistakenly go all the way to Johnson before I catch my mistake, giving me at least an extra mile or 2....

I'm tired...I have a LONG ways to go...I have now about 6+ miles ahead, and my legs don't have any bounce left in them...I try to find a rhythm, a pace and settle in. I think about the class, about the assignments I need to work on, getting ready for work projects ahead, and mostly, the distance in front of me...stretching out in a straight line forever to a disappearing horizon, thinking, how will I do this in the marathon??? By the time I cross 441 and pick Arthur back up, I am cruising back into my familiar loop. My feet and legs are wobbly and wooden. The wind has been into my face making the effort extra hard. I keep scanning down the road, estimating time and distance. Now I'm cutting a corner here and there, aiming for home. And by the time I make it to the last stretch of sidewalk, I am so sore, that when I try to slow to walk, I can't; I keep a kind of hobbling run that is as hard to stop as it was to start.... Total time on the road? 3:50 includes 2 rest stops...probably 3 and 1/2 hours running total.

I am pushing myself this fall, right up against my limitations, and beyond. I shed a tear or two over this weekend from the sheer strain and stress, and had to remember to give myself more sleep, more nutrition and most of all, more encouragement and validation for 'job well done.' We may never get the recognition we wish for from the outside, but we know what we do or don't do. We know, in every run, exactly how far and how fast we went, but mostly what it took to 'gut it out' on the way. I know it was a heroic effort that brought me back after getting lost in Hollywood....and I know it will be like this, on my way to the finish in January.