Settling into The Shift

There is so much different about these days, and yet I keep having this 'deja vu' all over again feeling too....pulling words into my experience seems, for once,  to be a 'forced' exercise.  Impressions, emotions and my general sense of my Self in the World feels set apart from my usual facility with the left brain, and leaves me with a curious Void of making it all palpable for my left brain mind.

Somewhere over my last 4 day break for the holiday weekend,  I saw an interview on Stroke of Insight   author Dr. Jill Taylor.  She beautifully expressed this feeling of 'knowing' herself and the world deeply while the stroke she had in her left hemisphere deleted her ability to make words and communicate with others in her usual way.   After my mother had her stroke,  I remember how difficult it was to connect with her except to sit, touch, look at each other;  words did not always work, and she developed a block about speaking after a while....When I am a apart from people I do not speak much either.  And the chatter in my head is easier to spot as so much effluence from my emotional mind.  Before long,  I can find myself comfortably reaching 'test pattern'....or that release from 'making sense' of it all, from left brain labels of all kinds.

I ran the last 2 of my 4 days,  giving myself the first few days to just recover, as once again I work with the pain and blocks in my right hip etc.  Both runs put me in right brain experience so immediately:  time loses it's boundaries, and most often now I can't tell how long I've been out- sometimes, like yesterday,  my out and back felt endless as I took the stretch down Park, practicing how to keep my gait even when tired.

While MLK and BHO joined in real time to keep moving the world a little closer to our shared awakening,  I drew the mandala (above).   We are incubating in this first step off the platform of 12-21,  and drawing together our forces and energies for whatever lies ahead.  When I head down the road,  I realize there are still and always choices;  do I see myself gaining strength, endurance, ready to reach for those long distances again,  or do I morph into a 'walker' (no disrespect),  an old lady with 'disabled' limits....?  As I draw,  I move through the space on the paper in a similar way.  Choices are constantly being made as I choose form, line and color;   what emerges is a truer window into my inner state than any explanation I might offer. 

In the end I am still in love with clouds,  as they match my desire to feel the essence of things without naming them.  

If we all lifted ourselves from our Planetary vantage point long enough to feel what the Big Picture might be all about,  imagine how naturally all the constructs of Mind would just fall away.....is it our fear of wondering "who am I then"? which keeps us married to our identities?  We have so many ways of finding our Selves;  we have art-making and poetry,  music and sound.  We have the ancient chants of our ancestors and Visions given in the night.   Most of all we have Mother Nature who freely offers Her Self at any time:  from our ever-changing landscape, weather and temperatures to the infinite array of her Life forms, including us!-  if we 'see' Her,  we become Her.   For we ARE Her, as She becomes Her own True Self.   Whatever that may be, and however you experience it,  have faith it is one more step on your long road Home.