New Hopes and Dreams

It's been an adjustment to see myself as "granny", and to look on this little face and wonder what her future holds.  Without the counsel of my own parents, I have to figure this one out for myself;  how to redefine my identity to encompass this new role, and bring along the strengths of my youth, as well as the willingness to leave off what may no longer apply....

Refining and redefining, the future comes to us while we morph our inner vision to encompass the ever fluctuating  landscape of change....so my thoughts have been rumbling around on the last few days runs.
Yesterday, I pulled out my usual long run, a modest one (10 maybe?) by most standards, but enough of a 'push' to be a benchmark of sorts of how my endurance is coming along.  Miraculously, today's Griffin loop was a comfortable effort.  I had a better gait and rhythm, and the road seemed to run on before me, opening the way in the very early hours of the morning, fresh with new hope for the new week.

We are like babies when we enter new stages in life.  We never really know what things are like for us until it comes upon us;   no matter how much others tell us, it takes our own inner education to solidify the gain, and to come to some appreciation of the nature of the new order.   It's all new, a little strange, and sometimes, we can be prone to cry,  protest, or sleep our way through. 

I've had my 'tantrums' of late, and my need to attempt to defend myself from change.  Even the thought of change has had me stressed, so I gained my escape by depending on that which is constant:  the run gives me consistency- it tells me that no matter what I look like, there is a strength inside which propels me, puts me airborne,  and gives me space to simply be.   Anyone who uses meditation to gain that familiarity with Self, will know what I mean.   My moving meditation is a way of reminding myself that I can move upon the surface of Earth and hear my own heart, for no reason but to feel my breath and the beating of my heart.  We all need to find that 'place' where constancy buoys the unending progress of change.   And anchor ourselves to something beyond our formidable defenses towards Life.