My sleep seems edgy and disrupted by either my body's discomforts or blasts of impressions and dreams, making the last 3 days without running a more uneasy experience, even if I did catch a break.
I forget that pushing at constant levels is counter to the wax and wane of intuitive training. I've done it by the numbers, I set mileage goals, race goals, weight goals. Much of what I seem to be going through with aging is altering my perception of training- and running altogether. The instinctive approach I probably espoused was less in evidence than now. And I'm grateful I've finally 'caught on' to this sensible- middle- way.
Up early enough for dawn (advantage of post-daylights savings), I just kept the thought "long run" and wasn't even sure which way to begin until I got out the door. The usual choices are well-worn grooves in my mental maps. Today, I craved that long straight stretch on W. Park, where on an early Sunday morning you can be blissfully unbothered by cars, mostly. A divided highway which, before Wilma, had a majestic row of Mature fig trees, most of which were blown over in the hurricane, west Park is the closest I can get to trance-like running, as it goes on long enough to establish great rhythm. There is comfort in the safety of footfalls, and space to go completely inward with my body, and not many places to achieve it. (John Lloyd, another good site).
3 days off could go badly, but I did a good stretch all the way to little John Williams, hidden gem off the corner of 441 and now home of "the Sheridan Oaks" according to the new nature sign. A small park that prides itself on packing much into a small piece of land. And has the big, old world feel of TY. Good pit-stop, water fountains, bathrooms, benches, walkways. I pee, drink and stretch. I eat part of the Greek date/walnut cake I am trying as road fuel. (good!) From here I used to push up the overpass to hit the Seminoles rez, but now they've put their new security in, so that's no go. And a push beyond that to cut over- and up- back to Stirling, then Griffin, is a long run for a latter day.
So the cut through the east of 441, back over to 56th, seems like the smart move. Another beautiful, quiet neighborhood stretch, until I pick up the path heading for the intersection where 56th morphs into N 40 and another overgrown magical neighborhood to run through. To Griffin. The big stretch to Publix and pit-stop #2. Rest of the cake, water, pee. I never realize that people look at me, since I am usually oblivious and deep in my music...but once in a while I catch a curious look, a smile. Very few runners are ever out on the roads. We have plenty of cyclists....where are the runners? On gym treadmills??
It was a long and brutal stretch to Publix. Finally I could feel the lack of distance endurance. This will be my longest run in a while- a good 12? And as I head out through the trailer park and pick up Stirling, my pace was steadier, my rhythm a little foot heavy, but intact.
A lot has been on my mind. The clinical scenes from emotional counseling sessions are allowed back in my head on the run....there is very little space anymore to register what I witness or honor it, and somehow having the space to let all its nuance penetrate me is very important for me to understand my cases. I thought of my Saturday girls as I call them. I thought of some of my young BARC clients who I adore, who are making the turn, hearing the Call, getting it together and blossoming like flowers, picking up the Vibe as it hits us all.
If you are feeling agitated, upset, frustrate, confused, rejoice! You are right on schedule. It never seems like these highly critical, intense states are worthwhile for anything but a big excuse to do something counter-productive. But these seem to be built in signs and signals that we pay attention, because this is The Shift at work....honing, scraping, shaping our Future Lives Now.
Surrender to the Force of Nature which has picked us all out of Her box of likely materials to create the Matrix of Her own renewal. We are her shroud, her cloak, her many colored veils. It is within Us, that She throws Her Light out into the World through the costume of manifestation.
No comments:
Post a Comment