Spring Runs

-photo courtesy Yu Wang


The heat of the sun just barely penetrates a crisp edge to the spring weather, making for very comfortable runs these days. Saturday I made a 6+ miler on the short Griffin loop and Sunday the longer one, probably about 10 miles, as long as I've done in a while.

Yesterday's run was after taking Mom to say hello to Dad at the cemetery, but we didn't stay long since a funeral was taking place right next to us...and I can't talk to Mom without shouting loud enough for her to hear. So we hung out, touched the gravestone, placed a rose and rock for him, took in the atmosphere- and left. Mom handled herself really well....the change in her from debilitated to stable is nothing short of miraculous, and I know we have Maude to thank for her excellent, good-natured care.

As I headed out yesterday Dad was much on my mind...the reality of death is a hard one to grasp. The seeing-then not seeing- a loved one who is so present in life...and the change in perception to 'other worldly' reality; is it any wonder our spiritual and religious lives began as homage to the dead? Mom constantly asks about the dead, having trouble remembering or tracking whose alive, dead and when....We talked about Aunt Rose too...."you have powerful ancestors looking out for you" I said to her, and she smiled at me and blew a kiss.

Spring is a roller coaster ride; it is warm one minute, cold the next. The season of my birthday, I am ecstatic and frustrated in equal measure as the wheel of my own cycles turn once more. This is the year I accomplished my 2nd marathon, my state license, and sadly the farewells to both Dad and Vitae. My two fathers gone leaves a hole in my soul no one can fill; the will to accomplish, to move forward is compromised without my powerful cheer-leading team to rah rah me on. Somewhere deep inside of me is a powerful source of inspiration, connection and commitment to everything I hold dear. My art, my passion for nature and plants, music, writing, philosophy, sciences....there is so much to life I follow as a devoted student....the blessing of those in the flesh who walk with us is in how they reinforce our passions and love. The loss of those brings us closer to Source; for in reality, it's only when we have to face it in our deepest solitude that the sheer mystery of it all hits home, and we can fully appreciate the face of God shining from within.