Cold, record-breaking temps have arrived in sunny south Florida. A chat with 'Coach Dave' last night helps me to adjust all my expectations at this point in my training.
As I describe the achy left ankle, the struggle to run in the cold, the fatigue and stress from the last few weeks, he finally concurs that the time is right to back off.
Not run??? Take a couple days, rest and regroup. Then Saturday do the 2nd of 2 last long runs....go for 20+....you might be surprised, he says, what rest might do to help you feel refreshed. And I realize I have been pushing 50 mile weeks and sometimes more for months now....definitely time to PAY ATTENTION.
I love that I was able to ruminate about work and sleep more last night without the pressure of having to face the brittle dawn. I have an hour or so to compose my head for the hearing today at work. Just me and some high powered administrators and the government center downtown, sorting out the mischief a co-worker has created. My notes are in order, and hopefully my emotions will stay that way too. Last night, after group, a client who was no longer in that phase waited for me to give me a card for New Years. This has been one of my most difficult cases; a young man, a serious addict, immigrant, survivor of neglect, abuse, mental illness and trauma, who is starting this week at NSU with the hopes of entering the health profession. The card was a heartfelt message of thanks- and I'm taking it with me today as my 'secret weapon'. No matter what the 'suits' may try to do to catagorize me, label me or attempt to distort my motives, this card sums up my commitment and passion for my work. I put the same heart into everything I do; I can't distinguish.
It has always been a run for my life. Never having the solid ground other folks seem to take for granted, the simple strengths of connection, of being in this world are powerful mystery and magic to me. I will remember who I am as I sit at that conference table today. I am a runner. I don't give up. I persevere, see it through. You will see me soon, at the finish line. 24 days.
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