Now that I'm topping 40 miles a week (last week I made 45!), I am increasing the length of the long runs. A few weeks ago, I managed 16 miles from the bottom of Bill Baggs State Park at Key Biscayne, to the top of Rickenbacker, and back. Wow. That is a story in itself. An amazing odessey. This past Saturday was 14, from the house straight west through the local 'hood, past 441, all the way to University- and back. Cutting through the Seminoles along a lovely stretch with trees- and shade. It feels like my endurance keeps improving, although I'm doing these long runs in the middle of heat, so its hard to tell. I signed up for the Deerfield Beach practice race in October, 30k, which should give me the last good sense of what real distance will feel like under race conditions. If I survive, then I promise myself to register for Miami.
The heaviness and intensity of emotional pressure seems to be lifting, with the shift in temps....or is it just me?? When I go out at 7AM, there's actually a hint, a presence of coolness in the air...the sun just kissing the horizon line, as the traffic follows me up and over the short bridge and on to my 8 miles. I don't know how it will happen, those 26+, I still can't get my mind around it. But the 8, 10 and longer are coming just a little easier. And the longer I go, the more I seem to want to stay out, just testing the limits now, testing my own strength of mind. It's all a mind game now. How much can I endure? I have taken in so much of the challenge in life. This is just one more.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
hard runs
Not all runs are pretty. Not every day is a beautiful day. The cycles of healing pull us up and then down into the shamanic descent that's required of us to squeeze the poisons from our spiritual tissues, and cleanse our souls for survival and growth in the 7 planes.....Not every corner gives us respite.....And today I find myself carrying my own dead weight right along every mile of 8, resurrecting as I go the last little bit of hope and inspiration tucked away for this moment when needed.....not all healing is healthy, sometimes it feels like a bag of crap.....and the run just like a washing machine cranking down the road.
I ran today to push through the trauma, betrayal, disbelief and sadness....I ran with my heart heavy like my feet, my legs burning from punishment. I kept the pace despite wanting to quit quit quit every mile, to give it all up, to sit down at a corner and put my head in my arms. I stayed on the road past exhaustion and prayed to the Mother to take my pain and make me understand, and by the last few miles I began to shake off the hunger in me to fall apart. There was my last loop, the stretch before Park Road where I let my legs loosen up and my stride open....I put my whole heart into that last half mile to see what junk would fly out....what tears, fears, broken dreams would scatter in my wake. The winds whooshed by me as I took the turn back by the park, to home. My heart was racing in my chest....and everything seemed to ache inside.
The healing that demands that I keep running this lonely road will one day break open to a World of Light...and not just in dark places, but in colors and parties and welcomes. One day.
I ran today to push through the trauma, betrayal, disbelief and sadness....I ran with my heart heavy like my feet, my legs burning from punishment. I kept the pace despite wanting to quit quit quit every mile, to give it all up, to sit down at a corner and put my head in my arms. I stayed on the road past exhaustion and prayed to the Mother to take my pain and make me understand, and by the last few miles I began to shake off the hunger in me to fall apart. There was my last loop, the stretch before Park Road where I let my legs loosen up and my stride open....I put my whole heart into that last half mile to see what junk would fly out....what tears, fears, broken dreams would scatter in my wake. The winds whooshed by me as I took the turn back by the park, to home. My heart was racing in my chest....and everything seemed to ache inside.
The healing that demands that I keep running this lonely road will one day break open to a World of Light...and not just in dark places, but in colors and parties and welcomes. One day.
Monday, August 27, 2007
14 and 40
As I hit 14 miles for the long run, I top 40 miles per week. Two weeks in a row now. Both long runs in the middle of the brutal heat and humidity, and yes, taking a ridiculous amount of time. Although yesterday, if I factor in the time I took for breaks, once at the park, and once to buy gatorade, it was probably my half-marathon time....so I think I'm finally adjusting. My ipod is set to all the faster downloads, between 175 and 180 beats per minute...and I stick to this throughout in my quest to train my legs to keep a consistent pace. So I would say its working, pretty much. Even if I tank out at different points, I can regroup later, by refocusing myself, and keeping in sync with the music.
Yesterday I played with little mantras and phrases, trying to find what worked best, things like "lean and mean, running machine", "don't slow down", and all that cheesy crap. It's interesting how willingly the body will follow the mind for no good reason, even when the heat is pressing down and your heartrate is up; the wisdom of the body, which is screaming for shade, for rest, for water, is entirely subsumed into the will of the mind...and on I went, cutting thru from the Seminoles up to 72nd, where I looped up to Stirling, and did the longest stretch back all the way to 95! Whew!!
With days off coming up, I will try one more long loop before the weekend, and see if I can top out at 15 or so. Somewhere in Runner's World was the advise that its not so much mileage as time on your feet. So far, 3 hours is the max....and I need to get it up now to 4....I also read about 'compartment syndrome' where the blood in the lower legs has a tough time circulating, which accounts for soreness and tingling in the legs and feet etc....my legs tend to swell during the day, and in running, its always my lower legs and feet that take the pounding. I wonder if this is an issue, and if so, if continuing to tweak at my diet will help....it's been tough to go hardcore on the protein and lower bread/grain carbs without wanting to consume everything in sight. But I have a feeling that the more I rely on fruits and veggies for carbs the better....
I had an amazing dream last night where I had my own dream therapy in assistance for a traumatic image that has been stuck in my head from a client, for several months now....WILD!! Perhaps with enough miles, all the junk that's gotten stuck in my head will dislodge...and the Dream Masters can have at it.
Yesterday I played with little mantras and phrases, trying to find what worked best, things like "lean and mean, running machine", "don't slow down", and all that cheesy crap. It's interesting how willingly the body will follow the mind for no good reason, even when the heat is pressing down and your heartrate is up; the wisdom of the body, which is screaming for shade, for rest, for water, is entirely subsumed into the will of the mind...and on I went, cutting thru from the Seminoles up to 72nd, where I looped up to Stirling, and did the longest stretch back all the way to 95! Whew!!
With days off coming up, I will try one more long loop before the weekend, and see if I can top out at 15 or so. Somewhere in Runner's World was the advise that its not so much mileage as time on your feet. So far, 3 hours is the max....and I need to get it up now to 4....I also read about 'compartment syndrome' where the blood in the lower legs has a tough time circulating, which accounts for soreness and tingling in the legs and feet etc....my legs tend to swell during the day, and in running, its always my lower legs and feet that take the pounding. I wonder if this is an issue, and if so, if continuing to tweak at my diet will help....it's been tough to go hardcore on the protein and lower bread/grain carbs without wanting to consume everything in sight. But I have a feeling that the more I rely on fruits and veggies for carbs the better....
I had an amazing dream last night where I had my own dream therapy in assistance for a traumatic image that has been stuck in my head from a client, for several months now....WILD!! Perhaps with enough miles, all the junk that's gotten stuck in my head will dislodge...and the Dream Masters can have at it.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Mother Nature, Up close and Personal
While the planetary forces exert themselves, I run a 14 miler today, Wow! And pick up on the farthest flung threads of Hurricane Dean's reach, brisk, breezy winds, a short squally shower, sun flitting in and out of fast moving cloud swirls....She races to Jamaica, while Erin now floods Oklahoma, sorry Marlon, and let's not forget the earthquakes, Peru and Indonesia...tho I'm not hearing about that one much,??
Suddenly things have been happening that seemed on the 'menu' for some time, and so it looks like 'earth changes' are going to be part of the script. OK. Then pushing into it will be too, and I could feel that today, despite heat index temps in the 90's.....I took the first stretch, after a bobble around Taft, straight on to University....must be a 6 miler?, then up Davie Rd extension, getting lost at the intersection of corners, I find a back stretch between Sheridan and Stirling, lucky break, it takes me all the way to the Seminoles....and back up to Stirling, great stretch. i hit the little squall in here, just a few minutes, then gone. Over the highway, last break to re-hydrate, then the last big ride all the way along Stirling until I turned to home. I was going to loop all the way to 95....but at this point, I had all the heat I was going to handle. The shoes did great. My feet were sore, but it was tolerable. My legs were heavy, but I could keep the pace and put a little kick at the end, as usual.
Jamaica is preparing for Dean, and I'm looking out over sun-spilled green, ready to crash and watch what else is going on, what touches the outskirts of my world.
My squall, that cooled me outside the Seminole stretch, is on its way around, back to the Carribean. And another arm, of thunder, rain and gusty winds, is gathering itself to fling up to our neighborhood. All in good time.
I need to be part of that atmospheric movement....I run into the air, I push into the winds.....I let myself fall into the arms of the changing day.
Suddenly things have been happening that seemed on the 'menu' for some time, and so it looks like 'earth changes' are going to be part of the script. OK. Then pushing into it will be too, and I could feel that today, despite heat index temps in the 90's.....I took the first stretch, after a bobble around Taft, straight on to University....must be a 6 miler?, then up Davie Rd extension, getting lost at the intersection of corners, I find a back stretch between Sheridan and Stirling, lucky break, it takes me all the way to the Seminoles....and back up to Stirling, great stretch. i hit the little squall in here, just a few minutes, then gone. Over the highway, last break to re-hydrate, then the last big ride all the way along Stirling until I turned to home. I was going to loop all the way to 95....but at this point, I had all the heat I was going to handle. The shoes did great. My feet were sore, but it was tolerable. My legs were heavy, but I could keep the pace and put a little kick at the end, as usual.
Jamaica is preparing for Dean, and I'm looking out over sun-spilled green, ready to crash and watch what else is going on, what touches the outskirts of my world.
My squall, that cooled me outside the Seminole stretch, is on its way around, back to the Carribean. And another arm, of thunder, rain and gusty winds, is gathering itself to fling up to our neighborhood. All in good time.
I need to be part of that atmospheric movement....I run into the air, I push into the winds.....I let myself fall into the arms of the changing day.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
dog days of summer
It's hard to believe, looking at photos of my half marathons last winter, that I froze my ass off, dressed in layers, with head gear, gloves and still came in like a drowned and frozen rat across the line. Today, at 6:30 AM, it was well into the 80's, humid, and only got hotter and more moist as the run went on. 8 miles of grueling heat, and all this before 9!! The serious training schedule will begin soon enough, and hopefully by then there will be some let up in the intensity. Meanwhile, I keep my mileage up as much as possible, and acclimate.
It's not long 'tll January. Really.
It's not long 'tll January. Really.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Every little thing
Good runs are defined by the unexplainable phenomenom of all elements working in harmony; bad runs by the equally mysterious breakdown of parts, be it one or many, doesn't matter, because it only takes one. This week, its a blister on my little toe, right foot. The left foot, nemisis of strains and stresses for most of 2 or 3 weeks, became whole. The right foot, meanwhile, had apparently taken the weight of that timeframe and it was that toe, always landing at the outside edge that finally turned to a little agonizing nugget in the way of my next mile.
Saturday the 14th was an official 'training run' for World Run Day on November 11. I signed up for 10 miles, with an anticipated time of 1:40, which was fast, I knew, for me, if I stopped at all. (folks, I am slow, and not ashamed to admit it....if I do an 11 minute mile thats OK with me.) I put my obligatory visit in with the parents and ran errands first, and did not hit the road until 3PM. The whole time I wondered about running at all- that toe had been pushing out, blistering, reblistering for days. Finally I decided to put myself in the mindset of every great distance runner I could think of and laced up with the thought; what's the worse that can happen? I walk, I run a short ways, I run another day....? It was hothothot and humid. I packed on my bottle of gatorade and extra fruit roll and cash. (Had to learn this lesson the hard way; as a hypoglycemic, energy is the key to surviving any mileage above 6 or so....) I put those first footsteps down and OUCHie ouch ouch, ouch....this was all I heard in my head through my ipod music cadence, but I pushed, pushed up the overpass, pointing towards the beach. A bandana with ice wrapped in it was around my neck and did a remarkable job keeping me cool in the midday heat (thanks, Runners World!). I knew I was favoring that right foot but kept a slow pace as steady as I could. My endurance was fine. I made it to my first stop at Publix to hit the cold water fountain and the A/C. Turned north to Dania Beach Blvd, a new, straight stretch that had me walking the half mile before I hit the beach. It wasn't just my feet by that time. And I was only half-way. I loitered a long time at a convenience store with a gatorade, eating my dried fruit, and watching the local beach traffic in the parking lot, the swimmers, smokers, bikers, drinkers, the wired-looking kids, and their worn-out parents shuffling in flip-flops. My resolve strengthened as I thought of myself on a break in my trek as an adventurer/athlete, slurping down my elixir, ready to get back in to my run. And off I went, parallel the ocean, those wonderful wafting breezes, full of brine and bird calls, poetry of people falling into waves...I was pushing through pain and fatigue, and stopped again in the shade of Surf Road to stretch, and walked to the Snack shop at North Park, my next regroup point. From there, a straight stretch west, and home. I loaded up on water and headed into the sun. I ran/walked this entire last part; the temps throughout were certainly in the high 80's to low 90's. It was insanity to attempt this run. I did it in 3 hours. A cold shower and mountains of food revived me enough to settle me on my floor where I managed to pass the rest of the evening.
And my foot? The insert of my right shoe was damp from the oozing off my toe. I stopped feeling the pain after I hit North Park. That was about mile 7? I still have the blister, and have run 2 more days. My hope is it will 'toughen up' eventually. I am still 'seeing' that marathon, and reading accounts of runners who overcome much more than the disturbances of one toe, one afternoon, one crappy run. My question is, does the marathon 'see' me?
Saturday the 14th was an official 'training run' for World Run Day on November 11. I signed up for 10 miles, with an anticipated time of 1:40, which was fast, I knew, for me, if I stopped at all. (folks, I am slow, and not ashamed to admit it....if I do an 11 minute mile thats OK with me.) I put my obligatory visit in with the parents and ran errands first, and did not hit the road until 3PM. The whole time I wondered about running at all- that toe had been pushing out, blistering, reblistering for days. Finally I decided to put myself in the mindset of every great distance runner I could think of and laced up with the thought; what's the worse that can happen? I walk, I run a short ways, I run another day....? It was hothothot and humid. I packed on my bottle of gatorade and extra fruit roll and cash. (Had to learn this lesson the hard way; as a hypoglycemic, energy is the key to surviving any mileage above 6 or so....) I put those first footsteps down and OUCHie ouch ouch, ouch....this was all I heard in my head through my ipod music cadence, but I pushed, pushed up the overpass, pointing towards the beach. A bandana with ice wrapped in it was around my neck and did a remarkable job keeping me cool in the midday heat (thanks, Runners World!). I knew I was favoring that right foot but kept a slow pace as steady as I could. My endurance was fine. I made it to my first stop at Publix to hit the cold water fountain and the A/C. Turned north to Dania Beach Blvd, a new, straight stretch that had me walking the half mile before I hit the beach. It wasn't just my feet by that time. And I was only half-way. I loitered a long time at a convenience store with a gatorade, eating my dried fruit, and watching the local beach traffic in the parking lot, the swimmers, smokers, bikers, drinkers, the wired-looking kids, and their worn-out parents shuffling in flip-flops. My resolve strengthened as I thought of myself on a break in my trek as an adventurer/athlete, slurping down my elixir, ready to get back in to my run. And off I went, parallel the ocean, those wonderful wafting breezes, full of brine and bird calls, poetry of people falling into waves...I was pushing through pain and fatigue, and stopped again in the shade of Surf Road to stretch, and walked to the Snack shop at North Park, my next regroup point. From there, a straight stretch west, and home. I loaded up on water and headed into the sun. I ran/walked this entire last part; the temps throughout were certainly in the high 80's to low 90's. It was insanity to attempt this run. I did it in 3 hours. A cold shower and mountains of food revived me enough to settle me on my floor where I managed to pass the rest of the evening.
And my foot? The insert of my right shoe was damp from the oozing off my toe. I stopped feeling the pain after I hit North Park. That was about mile 7? I still have the blister, and have run 2 more days. My hope is it will 'toughen up' eventually. I am still 'seeing' that marathon, and reading accounts of runners who overcome much more than the disturbances of one toe, one afternoon, one crappy run. My question is, does the marathon 'see' me?
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Making a comeback
Naysayers come in all stripes; beware the message "don't- can't- shouldn't- watch out". Of course pain is not the goal. Neither is self-recriminations in any form....."the door is wide open" is the message heard through inner channels, and one I choose to take to heart, as I took to the road again, with the waves of heat massaging me from head to heel as I pounded back out on the roads. Its a new game, not a variation of the old, even if it feels that way. And it seems to be a key in what it takes in my focus right now, not to overlay everything on what comes before. Some things drop away and are done. While others become new trails, broken open by desire, opportunity and motivation. It's still challenging to nail down what makes a run effortless, strong and fearless, and others faltering stumbling messes. The chemistry of one day morphs into the alchemy of another and the solar bursts of old light tumble into us with incessant force, magnetizing us to our purpose. How do we harness any of it, or are we really just responding almost automatically to larger and larger impulses? Every step is a confirmation of my presence in a plan, a tap into the matrix of energy that pulls me along its web like lightening in slow motion. I can, I will, I shall carry myself forward, and find along the way the willing partners who choose the run, the path, the company of hopefulness. We have no other choice. Its forward or nothing. The door is wide open.
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