Earth Day Every Day

Life continues to take on surreal layers of ultra-meaning.  Acts of violence, acts of kindness,  while Earth Herself shimmies and shakes, as if in an attempt to slough off the detritus of all this uncertainty.   The little 'h' human in us attempts to find balance and stability in the midst of huge waves of change,  and in the end are left to wonder how to maintain our own idea- a semblance- of our lives....

When I woke for Sunday's long run,  I had a map in my head of rounding up on the big Griffin loop.  As I headed out the door,  a persistent light rain kept my jacket on until I came up into Emerald Hills, and a slight sun came out.   I felt 'out of my body'....tired, confused...and yet with every step felt myself tuning more and more into the lush Nature all around me.   At the corner of 56th, where I normally take the cut up to Griffin that old loose yellow dog was wandering about.  My dog phobia quickly set in and instead I kept west,  up the 441 overpass, cutting through the Seminoles and still west to avoid their security gate...
A few walk breaks now and then between my methodical gait, as I rounded back onto Sheridan to walk into sweet little John Williams park.

Suddenly that surreal feeling came full on:  I couldn't see a person, dog, car or living creature amidst the small grove of southern oaks,  spread across the heavy skies,  enveloping me in their furry arms while I took a few minutes to absorb their splendor.  The solace I get from Nature soothes my every human confusion as if Gaia Herself understands everything I am.  Emotions were gathered in the beauty of Her display, and with a good swig of water I took off for the easterly route home.

There isn't a one of us stumbling somewhat in the dark right now.   And that's understandable, as We have never been here before,  this strange mix of so much exhilaration with so much pain.   We careen from day to day like drunken soldiers,  glad to be home from the wars,  meanwhile gearing up to do it all over again.   And yet the simple act of 'one foot in front of the other',  like a physical mantra that goes beyond the chatter in my head serves to bring it all back to basic balance...I keep moving,  I keep running,  I keep following the thread of my own emotions until there are no more feelings left, and I am another part of the Whole,  a piece of the Big Picture breathing the Life of things inside myself.

Don't allow anyone to tell you grief, or sadness or confusion is somehow 'wrong'.   We are impressed with these experiences from layers of our lives beyond our comprehension,  and impelled to process them one by one, or sometimes in noisy bunches, like runners on the course making their way down the road.  We try to pretend we 'have it all together' while secretly watching our lives fall like the petals of blossoms off the spring trees.  Nature keeps telling me, 'no matter'.   To live, breathe and move through the feelings is all She needs.  And I have learned to listen.