Despite the exhaustion, the mental fatigue from a 6 day full-client caseload stretch, I woke to a May morning bright with crystalline light, the early sunshine lining the material world with luminosity. Within half an hour I was heading out Park, west, putting the full sun on my back and easing out the stiffness, after 2 days off. My Friday and Saturday early starts take away my morning run window. I could get up way earlier to pull it off, but sleep is a cherished commodity. I am still doing 4 runs a week, and keeping Sunday long. Not bad, and my base is slowly feeling more stable. We'll see what opportunities present to up the mileage by and by.
On a morning like this, the hypnotic nature of clarity, of perfect circumstances, lifted me into the joy of the moving rhythm; many good tunes rolling through 8Track, a great app if you haven't tried it. Playlists of unknowns, mostly, great new stuff, all kinds, keeping my inner tempo like a gyroscopic modulator; footfalls become musical beats and tones, rumbling through my gait.
I meandered over, up and around the Big Griffin loop, always glad to see that N 40 stretch, and the lovely oases of big growth landscape tucked in corners which beckon my dreams of my own compound, the next place, a space to get lost in if needed, to find oneself, always, to dream into the future of course.
The Message of late seems to be...."all in good time, so relax..." a mantra that for ambitious and intense folk like me, always seems like a rather contraindicated prescription. That said, I am certain that some mechanism also made a link, along with the insight, as if decades of constraints on my ability to relax, to not only see- but accept- the nature course of things, came into place. Enough voices have persuaded. It is time, now, to let it unfold.
Never, on a run, do I bail, call a cab, cut it short. I may be conservative about what I think I can do, and my runs, my mileage is indeed modest by most/some standards. But each time I start out and decide "6 miler" "Griffin loop" "beach circuit" etc., I am as committed to the endeavor as any explorer heading out on expedition. It may kick my ass, or flow as smoothly as it did today, like a gift from the gods in every way possible. But always, the run is there, it's own mini process of transformation and change. So that by the time I walk back in the door, my feet are as light as my heart.
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