Spring Equinox 2012

Mello Rye, Priestess of the Sun

The sweet, delicate balance of equinox on the cusp of Spring/Aries energy,  of inner and outer planes,  of spirit and physicalities *yes I just made that word up*,  dropped into my awareness like the fragrant scent of flowers, the growing push of unrealized dreams, hopes and communal aspirations.   Dark forces bleed out their fractious impulses all around the world, while the Light workers funnel the higher vibes into the vortex of change...The balance point is the choice point in every moment, leaning towards- or away from- the transformation, which will happen:  one way or the other.

As a true Aries gal in many ways,  waking up today was like stepping into my true self.  Powerful women face the push-back from the patriarchy in so many ways we tend to take it for granted...we give a little ground here,  we reconcile there, for the sake of 'peace'- we lose battles and ultimately the larger 'war' when we forget to claim our power.  Watch the news any day to see how our very notion of The World is couched in the dark terms of repression/oppression/control/domination ad nauseum, a dialogue created when we 'buy' this sick matrix and fall deep into its beliefs.  

Ancient teachers and healers have always alerted us to the The Mother's higher path, call it what you may.  I have been reminded deeply of Mello Rye lately,  our teacher in the 'Sun Temple' circle, who stood as a conduit, as depicted above, between Mother Earth and the wide Universal Forces 'above'...finding the link, channeling the divine energies to connect, heal, grow, glow....become free.

The transformation during times of intense change is as subtle as it is powerful....and yet every effort is lifted by our conscious connection.   Today I look at how I was guided to lay down burdens I have learned from,  and embrace new challenges in my path.   I release the stagnant scars of disempowerment and remember Who I Really Am.   Radiance.   Luminescence.  Star dust.  Sun Light.  

Today,  find your inner core, the balance point of you.   Seek to coax the essence of your soul out of hiding to infuse your daily spirit with a knowing and ...growing....into the beautiful being you are.  It is not far,  it is HERE.  May Lovely Spring bring you Her promise of all good things cracking open like seeds in the fertility of your dreams. 

Winds of Inspiration

                                                          The goddess of adventure


Mother Nature has flung Her range of weather at us of late,  short stretches of cold,  sweltering summer-like temps, blustery rains;  wait 20 minutes, and it might all happen- as others experience more record-breaking storms, tornadoes, dust storms and drought...the list goes on and on.  Weather is an indicator.  Like symptoms of the body,  Mother Gaia uses weather as her regulator and expression.   Pat Robertson had it almost right about the prayer in the Midwest;  the earth is always in process of manifesting the energy within the matrix of our connections,  us with Her,  with all other life forms, within the cradle of the Cosmos.

So as I walked out the door this morning on the heels of last night's rain, and into the stiff winds,  I decided to head to the park where I knew the weather would chase off most folks.  Sure enough,  as I rounded the path,  I had the luxury of sliding into an easy gait without stress from cars and most anyone else...the solitude I always crave but seldom find.   Diana the Huntress was known for her solitary nature, taking off into the woods and finding the elements of herself apart from the pressures of life.  In recent news,  the view of those who live alone is being redefined as positive, empowering, blasting the old stereotypes of 'loneliness.'

Women, we need our space and time apart from the pressures of men and the world where definitions of who we are and why will continue to pollute our own growth process.  Never before has it been so important to protect and cultivate our power and connections with ourselves and one another.   Before you seek romance, success, material fulfillment,  go on an adventure to find yourself.   Take off into the first interesting path that calls you, where the trees open up into wide skies and stars, and the light is shimmering down to bathe you in luminescence.  Believe you are the incarnation of every huntress who found herself compelled to take off, to run, dance, sing, create, breathe life into the weary world.  When you doubt yourself the most,  that's when the impulse can be strongest.  We can never be done with the quest, and there is no 'final destination'...but the gifts of certainty and inner confidence are the reward. 

Running Nature

"Our inmost nature wants some medium, some way to express and realize itself."- Suzuki

I ran a nice, moderate loop on Saturday and again today;  no Sunday long run.   The pressures of work and on the inner planes are such that a greater need for rest came upon me, and for once I listened.   My self-massage efforts paid off too,  because the chronic hitch in my right foot/leg was loosened again somehow, and today I really felt the difference in my gait.  Of course one release in one spot shifts the balance, and now I can feel the 'issues' in my left foot....it's a never ending process of constant adjustments.

The nature of running goes parallel to the nature of living, of expression and art, for me.   Or rather, the many threads of existence are simultaneously seeking new and interesting ways to connect.  While some parts of me are busy fulfilling my daily obligations and service,  others are deep on the hunt for answers to questions I haven't yet asked,  lessons I didn't always know I needed,  experiences which broaden my capacity to understand- my Self, my Big Mind,  the biggest of all, the Heart of Nature Herself.

Sometimes,  like now,  the forces are such that I am happy to cruise along my path and enjoy the ride.  Running gives me a traveler's look at everything around and in me....a way to encompass the matrix of me as I wind around what only looks like the same course, but climbs as a spiral upon itself, finding new levels and vibes.   I love that we are fundamentally unable to define any of it;  at the same time we are compelled to try.  

Sunday Run 2-19-12

When I made the final turn home about 200 meters from the finish line I felt a wave of emotion. I knew that it was going to happen. I was going to be on the team to London. This experience reminded me that you need to keep faith in yourself. Never count yourself out, you never know what you can do." - Kara Goucher

It was quiet the only way Sunday mornings can be....the world tucked tight into its dreams and the morning air sitting on the earth like a soft blanket,  warm for this time of year, and leading me out to my Sunday run adventure.   Determined to work out my 'rough spots',  I had no big agenda;  I wanted simply to move my way into a rhythm and see how far it felt like I needed to go.   Looping through the neighborhood,  by the time I headed west on Park, I felt the old contrast between our bodies at rest and our bodies in motion.  Usually more a conflict, sometimes a flght, I am coming to understand my lifelong quest to master my relationship with my body in a way in which rest feels like rest,  and motion is another nature state.   I am moving off the stress of racing and PRs, distances and times.  Much as I wish I was endowed to be invested in all of that, it is because I am an aging 'middle-packer' that I work for a relationship with running that works for me now.

The straight stretch through Park to my first pit stop was good in the Karhus...I am liking their light, balanced feel.   I decided to cut through 56th and round up Emerald Hills,  a modest 'long run' by comparison to training, but long enough to find that window where the aches decrease and the rhythm of the gait begins to churn up into a motion that feels like flight.  Many runners dissociate to handle distance;  perhaps the only positive application of this mechanism and a hold-over from childhood when we try to distance ourselves from pain.  For me,  it just feels like a journey, a 'trip' out of myself into a bigger Me,  which is linked in the vast matrix of world and where we blend into a perfectly entrained partnership.  Best yet is when I feel this whether in a good pace,  a walk- or even better- at any time I choose to link with that which is greater than me, sees more than I can- understands more.

The run is sometimes my doorway.   It is the confidence in my own connection at work.  Most folks prefer sitting meditation,  which I like as well,  or yoga and other moving meditations- also part of my routine.   They are aspects of Being which create windows to experience ourselves in natural ways.   It is the Natural World which prompts us to believe in the spiritual force of our physicality, as it links with our vibrations and resonates with our emotional minds.   Today,  you can enhance this relationship by taking in what Nature has offered;  whether you feel it through your eyes, your ears- or your heart.

Kara Goucher

Valentine's Day Run

The mystic bridge from dreaming sleep to wakefulness took me back from the brink of big interiors and into the soft light of early morning, rolling out of bed to throw on my running gear and head out the door into a magical morning.   The Big Chill has passed us by,  but the slight edge of coolness lingered on the strong sun.   I read somewhere that with increased solar storms we are also getting more solar energy than ever....and as I made my way to the overpass,  I wondered how all these electromagnetic particles were re-arranging my cells into vibrating instruments ready to take me where I want to go.

I cruised up 29th, dodging the usual traffic and headed up Anglers to make my cut over to my Publix pit stop at Griffin.  I felt strangely light on my feet, despite the fact that I am still trying to work out the new Karhus and kept adjusting my ties.  The aftermath of the race is mostly in my ankles now,  and it will take a while before I begin to feel my feet under me in a strong and secure way.

Plenty of walkers out,  and a few runners....the warmth growing with the morning, I shuck one layer and make my way back through the trailer park, across Stirling and back towards the park and home.  I focused on my body through my astral Ka connecting with the Ka of earth,  feeling my feet sink into the soft matrix of energy which surrounds us both.  Clearly if solar energy is increasing then the vibration of everything is ramping up,  springing us into a new level of felt sense,  in how our bodies- and minds- connect.  Often,  this feels visceral, as if I could peel away the layers by hand and at others,  as if the whole inner landscape of my Self has expanded on the winds....running in such a state feels ethereal.  But as always,  running is a grounding action;  it takes us from mind to body by connecting us with the motion of ourselves from the inside out.  All these ways to connect,  to live and breathe within the Body of Great Mother Herself.

Today,  while giving your loving attention to all your dear ones,  remember the earth upon which you stand.  Beneath the concrete streets and sidewalks,  She is breathing her Life into you.  Above the worried skies,  the wide expanse of an Endless portal is seeking to lead you further than you've ever gone before.   Today,  pour your Love before you out of the vessel of your heart.   Hear the music of the spheres singing your way.   Today, look up.  And sing with them.

The ING Miami (half) Marathon 1-29-12

We begin the day at 3:30AM when I wake up to throw on my clothes, make sure I've packed everything,  eat my PB and banana on sprouted tortilla and take off down the road.  No rain, very mild and humid temps. Not good for the uber-racers, but great for me!  I share the interstate with reckless late nighters racing home,  making the drive a little crrazy and find my way downtown where I swiftly get lost.  Staying with the strategy of "follow anyone who looks like they're heading the same way"  I luck out with a street lot just a few blocks from American Airlines arena and it turns out not far from Bayfront.   It is not even 5AM and the whole area looks like a street fair:  multi-colored runners of all shapes and sizes,  the starting corrals fenced and manned by buffalo-headed staff....which distinguished them from other event staff as the folks in charge of managing and starting each corral as it came up.

Interestingly, as an "I" and the last the go,  we were tucked right up by the start line and therefore the A's and B's etc...meaning we got to see the wheelchairs start first (always a thrill), then the elites, and everyone damn else!!  We stood and cheered for 45 minutes before it was our turn....!

 

     And somehow, being early and at the front of my corral,  I was able to see everything unfold including our turn to be 'herded'  in front of the start line...

and the beginning of the race- for us!  I'm off!

The skies had just begun to lighten....I was so stiff from standing in one spot, it was a shock to my system to be on the move,  negotiating space in the crushing crowds navigating our way onto the MacArthur causeway and probably the biggest hill of the race....I was no no awake, or even really conscious of doing anything but putting one foot in front of the other and trying not to trip over anyone....rewarded by the view of the cruise ships and water all around...

and since I waited so long....my first (and only) porta-potty stop which took what felt like forever waiting in line with everyone else at the first water/AID station:

At this point,  it didn't feel like a race so much as a fight for resources:  water,  potty and space!  And I began to feel the contrast between my usually solitary and very inward experience...and the circus unfolding around me!  The competitor in me wanted to show off my training and abilities such as they are....I jump back on the roads and head out with everyone else into Miami beach.

We're about 3 or 4 miles in,  and my legs have begun to relax a little,  the crush of runners thins out enough to begin picking my way along,  and mostly I try to find a rhythm I can settle into while still enjoying the hubbub of onlookers and the slightly derelict magical air of Miami beach...passing the spot Yu, Mike, Claire and I sat having a snack...and curling around and onto the Venetian causeway pointing back towards downtown...

It was strange to deal with feelings like trying to keep pace with people who looked bigger, fatter, slower or otherwise handicapped:  the democracy of running is such that you never know who the uber-runner is!  And my competitive streak was often humbled by the realization that I was lucky to just keep on my feet and put an occasional burst of speed on just to keep up with the crowd!  I am deep in the midst of it now,  and there's no leisurely stopping and hanging out like I usually do!  The mile markers melted past the 7, 8, 9....and finally there was a 10!  and we are downtown at last...

I had to dig deep to find enough umph to weigh my relief that I had about 3 miles to go with my fatigue,  fighting with myself to make my 3 hour limit (self-imposed of course) while enjoying the sights and sounds...

pockets of great graffiti art....drummers drumming,  singers and bands singing...the Jesus people asking "Are you running with- or from- God?"

At 12 miles  people begin to cheer us on...oh its only a mile (+)....!  which began the longest mile of my life  (I say this every race) feeling as if that finish line would come up right around the next corner...or the next....until I can hear the music and shouting....coming into the chute...I give it one last blast and FINALLY!  I am over the line!  This pic is what runners look like walking AFTER we finish....waiting for water,  medals and for me to get the hell out of there!  Another lesson learned?  I am still not much for crowds....

I didn't mean for this to be such a 'wet t-shirt' look but its real....I was soaked in gatorade, water and sweat...and was eager to get home to a hot shower....Well organized by a phenomenal volunteer and public works staff....I grabbed a banana and bottle of water and thankfully hobbled out to find my car and out of the traffic....eager for silence,  a meal and a nice long nap.

In 2:56:45 minus that standing around for the potty,  I feel pretty good about this for an old girl....and happy to know I CAN...Regardless of times,  it was a great experience...congrats to ALL the runners, those who went for speed and the rest- like me- who go because we think it's FUN!! 

The Queen of Races

It gave me a great chuckle to hear the half-marathon called the Queen of races...not the approachable 10k,  nor the daunting full marathon,  the half is like a lover who extends the connection just beyond what you might think you can endure,  seducing you into Her rhythms and joy at completion.  In Her many incarnations in our lives,  the Great Mother is more than a pregnant vessel of creation.  She is Diana the Huntress,  the restless adventurer,  the Messenger, on her feet to open the way forward... and a fitting symbol for the great energy 25,000 people will bring to the start line on Sunday.

Whatever is the unifying element that compels runners to run,  it's basic nature seems rooted in our anthropological history.  We have always run to get from point a to be,  to hunt,  to courier news, and I'm sure some goods.   To run feels somehow natural...and yet the bells and whistles of the 'running industry' reflects the same opportunistic spirit as any other...we peruse the various booths and displays,  sampling plenty of free samples, and actually walked out with new shoes.  They're called Karhu, their from Finland,  and they have a "fulcrum" to help roll the foot forward.  Good,  I thought;  I'll need all the help I can get!

It's a risk to run a race in new shoes...and yet I like the idea of demarcation;  to begin something with this race, to discover just what it means to me now, at this period of life and to see if I can 'run down' a better idea of what might come.  I had some nostalgia today, heading out of Miami;  I used to call my Dad first thing after every race to tell him my time etc...it was a lovely little ritual I will miss....
for the first time,  I will carry not just his memory with me over the line as I did at MCM, but Mom's, Vitae's...Tom and Mike....when I run I feel I am making animate the spirit of love that is in me.