Healing Hiatus

Cocky me, thinking I will cruise on through indefinitely without any set-back, letting my expectations get the best of me when my body says "WHOA!"  and time for healing comes.   OK so it's a summer cold (I assume) and this constellation of symptoms is no doubt a cleansing from very stressful times....busy work schedule, training and just trying to keep the rhythm going on the Treadmill of Life.

I realize that anything that forces me to slow down is probably a good thing.   My nature is to discount the vulnerabilities of my body;  I train to increase my general stamina and endurance- not to become a super-athlete, but to keep my energy strong for everything I seek to engage.   When down time comes to me, I tend to fight it.   But the body surrenders eventually and with it, the healing rest I obviously need.

I seek the support of my healing allies today, and as Mom and Dad have been hovering around in my dreams, I hope the Ancestors are doing their part to support us here.   They have been much on my mind of late as I traipse around the backroads of my childhood, remembering the peace and comfort Mother Nature always gave me,  starting right out our back yard.

So to everyone striving to maintain their health, balance and faith in the path before them,  I am with you.   We all bleed and cry, and suffer the slings and arrows of our status in the material world.  The Hands of Greater Awareness are there to hold us whether we move forward or not, even in our down days.  Reach, and Grab hold.  

Sunday Beach Run 8-7-11

TS Emily skirted our shores dumping much needed rain Saturday night and lulling me into false security as I woke Sunday to see overcast skies.  Without direct sun I decided to trot east towards the beach and visit the ocean for my long run loop.  I greatly under-estimated, once again, the power of humidity to lay a runner low.   I bench marked the major cross streets until hitting the first of the 2 overpasses on the last stretch when I began to feel nauseous and light-headed.  On all my usual loops I make it a point to hit some hydration early on.  But this time, I skipped the Publix, and this was 4 miles in more or less.  I felt embarrassed as older, faster runners loped on by, and I walked on up the first overpass to stop and enjoy the Intercoastal.  One more overpass and I cruise into North Park and the ocean,

The light is deeply mysterious early in the morning when squally weather has been around.  The shades of blues and greys can hardly be identified as they blur and blend into the atmosphere.  The ocean seems to swallow the light as morning seems 'suggested'...I hung out a bit,  took some photos and drank plenty of water.

I hit that Publix on the way back, and took my electrolytes.   By the time I limped home, it felt like 10 pounds of moisture was carried in my clothes;  I felt humbled yet triumphant that finally I made it over to the beach, even if it was shy of my usual long loop distance.  Clearly, it's not always about how far you decide to go, but what you go through along the way.

The only one putting any pressure on me is myself.  I am deeply grateful that so much of my life has fallen into a rhythm of routine, something that works well for me.  Whatever I can do independent of outside demand will call up my best assets, the ability to call upon the  skills and resources I need to execute my professional responsibilities.  Personally, the journey I take to transform past hurts into clear connection continues.  Running is a dialogue with the elements, and I will never be wholly independent of the Forces of Mother Nature in Her quest to Express Herself, regardless of my training inclinations.   This inter-connection is the mystery that pulls me back each time just to discover what Adventures await. 

Nature's Practice in Action

"The world is its own magic." - Shunryu Suzuki  Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind

According to our local paper, a tornado touched down in NW Broward yesterday;  the photo was taken from my office window in the aftermath of the same storm that shut down our power!  For about half an hour, the Powers that Be debated about evacuating until 5 minutes before the start of group, everything came back on....and the Work continues....

Witnessing Nature in Her most expressive manner is always a humbling experience.   Everywhere you live, you have one or several of her Personality Traits to deal with, either storms, temps, floods, drought, fire, volcano, earthquake, etc etc etc.   The illusion of our relative stability on this globe is in direct correlation to where you live and what class you are.  In today's news, as TS Emily attempts to rev herself up, it was stated that she aims for Hispaniola,  where over half a million Haitians are STILL WITHOUT PERMANENT SHELTER from their earthquake in 1/10!!!!  This TS would be a nuisance for us;  like yesterday, several clients said it was dicey to navigate the highways into treatment.   But can you imagine what most of the planet endures in Sudan, The Mideast, in every impoverished corner of the globe when Nature moves through??

I take my runs for granted sometimes, especially when the weather has been kind enough to give me consistent conditions and therefore the opportunity to focus on stuff other than the elements.  Today, the dawn had that magical few minutes of cooler air cutting through the humidity before the sun turned up the temps...my walk warm-up was peaceful and serene, watching the sun peek through the huge southern oaks at the park.   My goal to work on endurance appears to be paying off;  despite the heat and humidity, consistency and a few stretches of fartleks, not to mention the overpasses now and then are helping me build strength.  In the back of my mind is the 10th anniversary of the Miami marathon this January....do I 'go for it' again?  or stay 'Zen' in my practice of 'ordinary' running?

There is nothing ordinary about our World, but we treat it like a garbage dump, a hazardous waste pit, an obstacle in our way of abstract pursuits.   When was the last time you sat with Nature and absorbed the slow growth of Her manifest beauty in the trees, plants and wildlife around you??  How long has it been since you walked on her skin, sensitive to Her many moods, breathless creativity and beauty??  When artists attempt to mimic Her, we fall short.  When scientists attempt to understand Her, she remains Mysterious and elusive.  I love this about Our Mother Nature.  She will not be encompassed by such as us but we can see ourselves mirrored in Her soul, as a part of Her amazing Creation, and honor both Her and ourselves more fully.

High Summer

Yesterday was Long Slow Distance day with strong emphasis on SLOW.   I had an unfortunate pairing of shoes with sox which created an almost instant blister on my right toe.  It's been years since I've had such challenges running;  in my partial denial I decided just to continue my regular loop, with poor results.

I wanted to run out and back to the beach, but wasn't feeling my 'mojo'...and glad now that I didn't.  I think I'll keep that goal for slightly cooler mornings, and meanwhile kept to my usual longer loop, stopping at John Williams to cool off and hydrate.   I took a bottle/belt this time, and really dislike the extra bulk and weight.  Even so, I was glad to have that liquid on the long stretch up to Griffin and on my last leg home.   I was out at the pool a few days back, and the sun was so intense that just after an hour or so I burned.  Summer is not playing with us this year!

TS Emily is forming in the Atlantic, with likely paths now honing in on us.  I can tell by the cloud formations that a Big System is lurking around.   If you are elsewhere in the states then you are contending with the heat, the severe weather and other summer stuff all the way around.   It may be that Mother Nature is beating me at my own game.   Some days I seem to acclimate to heat, and others like yesterday are bust.   I walked a good bit, including when I finally took off my shoes and walked in my sox back towards home, just to let my toes out of their shoe prison.   Anyone have good recommendation for shoe types that are not so minimal, but still breathable??  Barefoot is not an option for this old gal.   But I'm open to suggestions.

So we'll see what the running gods have in store for me this week.   Today was yoga day.   I'm happy with the results from my 'ancillary' trainings....I've got good core strength and continue my medicine ball, free weights, lots of stretching.   Still, there are chronic 'flare-ups' that seem to be the result of a body mostly 'parked' in neutral (counseling=sitting sitting sitting)....which is suddenly employed to run.   Clearly, this takes some balancing from one extreme to the other, and Summer, you aren't helping on this one!

We do what we can do with every day and the elements built into our experience, whether that be the atmospheric conditions and weather, the agenda of our loved ones and friends, or the inner needs of the body and soul.   The nature of change is sometimes in staying aware of every opportunity to choose what heals, builds and connects, even when that looks like doing nothing at all!!  We let our bodies  heal when we rest, but rest too much and the strength from exertion will not take place either.
I choose to respect the Power of Mother Nature today as she levels me back to an appreciation of who, exactly is Boss!

Daily Transformations

Sleeping through my alarm, I was out later than prudent on yesterday's long run, and suffered the consequences.   The build-up of heat came upon me as I began the long stretch west, keeping the sun at my back, and my brain was not yet talking to my body in the fog of fatigue I was shaking off.

The long run comes after my 6 days-with-clients stretch, and 2 days (usually) off running due to my schedule.   I am paying for this intensity:  it is difficult, like this weekend, to drag my butt out of bed to tackle my Sunday run, but I am sticking to my commitment.  So after my first pit-stop and chance to regroup, I took the cut north to catch 56th and my next big pull up to Griffin.  I walked a good bit of that last stretch;  the heat/humidity combo is an energy-sucker, and I have been determined to respect this more, and resist less...so walking becomes an easier option as soon as I feel I've stepped beyond my natural limits.  The last thing I need is a road-related heat emergency.

By the time I made it home and got on with my day I felt like a wet rag rung out to dry....This morning, I decided to take one more attempt out, at a more reasonable time, and this time began heading out and up the overpass to 29th.   This puts my Publix stop later in the loop, and it was a slog by the time I got close.  The miracle happened on the way back, as I hit the trailer park and found my rhythm at last, with the hitch in my hip quieting and all the tunes in my phone feeling like motivational voices keeping a beat and a lyric running through my feet.

The run begins like any day does, as we crawl out of our beds and begin the inner chatter that reflects our anxieties or hopes for the day.   The warm-up walk has always been my means of 'checking' what's going on inside, to link mind with body and to hope the sync is such that some grounding is achieved with the external world.   When everything goes well, I am high from the effort and feeling of harmony between so many parts acting in accord with one another.  The transformation of the day is begun.

Running With Power, not Against It

I was excited to get back out there today after yesterday's great run.   What made it so great?  Who knows how the gods choose to stack up their many elements at play, and why, once in a while, I catch that transcendent vibe that feels more like a ride than a slog...

I've been 'pushing' into the potential of change, once again, and coming into conflict with the players who are either somewhere else physically or mentally.   Since change has been my MO for some time in my early years, I am still prone to think of ' change for change sake' and feel the rush of anticipation just envisioning anything possible in my future.  It's a big lesson for me to throttle it down and take my time.   My decision to stay with Florida as my home and residence post-parents is one area this has manifest.   And coping with the illusion of control in relationship is another.

I began today at a reasonable time, in the crystalline early morning that came on the heels of the last tropical system.  My mental stress was still noticeable;  when I can see all the possible positive outcomes, where is the rest of the world in conforming to MY vision??  It was somewhere mid-run, on that lovely long stretch that connects Stirling to Griffin I finally 'saw' the error of my ways.   Relaxing into the open stride, soaking up the rich layers of Nature all around, I finally released the crazy expectation that someone, anyone, should conform to my way.  Imagining the other person's pain or problems is a good way to ensure that YOU are not the center of their concerns.  We have precious little input on each other in our inner world,  BUT- that said, we exert a great deal of influence, for good or bad- just in our pattern of response.

I felt like I finally allowed the run to run itself, having been on this loop so long, I feel I could do it blind-folded.  I let go of "good run/bad run" and once again reveled in the power of my own body to make this herculean effort, on a hot summer morning,  in the middle of a long week, despite any reservations or expectation.   When we harness our inner Power, we become the channel in our activities to a place of Flow and Know.   Resistance creates the discord which tells us we have drifted off base.  Get back to your Inner Rhythm and feel your stride pick up the energy propelling you on.

Sunday Long Hot Run 7-16-11

The Techno gods conspired to jam up my tunes before I could head out the door Sunday,  a delay which took up precious early time in moderate temps.  Once I figured a work-around, I was out in full sun, not good for a date with a long run.

Nevertheless, I felt pretty good, making my warm up loop before heading west out Park to take stock of my 'hot spots' and get into a rhythm.  I passed up my first pit stop for John Williams park (above), a lovely little oasis on what used to be my stop before tackling the Seminoles, before they closed up the rez.  JW has bathrooms and a water fountain, with plenty of big trees which allows for a nice cool down before I headed back out to catch my Griffin loop. 

Knowing the kind of times my peeps Marlon etc post, I would be embarrassed to say how long it took to run my 10-12 miles.  I walked substantial stretches up 40th and after my Publix stop.   The build-up of heat and humidity is a formidable force, and I could not push myself any more.    I floated in a trance of fatigue just getting home, creating breakfast in my head and imagining the sweet relief of A/C and shower.   The 'mental' part of the run is more difficult than the physical when the body feels overcome by the elements.  Facing and accepting 'what is', becomes the most challenging part;  once out, there is little one can change except how long the whole ordeal lasts....

Many runs are an adventure, and some are pure joy.   Sometimes, though, runs are the gauntlet between tough places, with no reward except the satisfaction that the commitment is done.   But even the toughest runs have their sweet spot, like the Face of Nature at the park, the soft silence of those big lofty trees throwing their kind shade upon me.   Every day is a chance to discover how Life will shape itself around us, even while we project our own challenges and desires upon Life.   Choose your Vision and take the elements in your stride;  like colors chosen in artwork, they will blend into an integrated Whole by the experience of your heart.