Daily Transformations

Sleeping through my alarm, I was out later than prudent on yesterday's long run, and suffered the consequences.   The build-up of heat came upon me as I began the long stretch west, keeping the sun at my back, and my brain was not yet talking to my body in the fog of fatigue I was shaking off.

The long run comes after my 6 days-with-clients stretch, and 2 days (usually) off running due to my schedule.   I am paying for this intensity:  it is difficult, like this weekend, to drag my butt out of bed to tackle my Sunday run, but I am sticking to my commitment.  So after my first pit-stop and chance to regroup, I took the cut north to catch 56th and my next big pull up to Griffin.  I walked a good bit of that last stretch;  the heat/humidity combo is an energy-sucker, and I have been determined to respect this more, and resist less...so walking becomes an easier option as soon as I feel I've stepped beyond my natural limits.  The last thing I need is a road-related heat emergency.

By the time I made it home and got on with my day I felt like a wet rag rung out to dry....This morning, I decided to take one more attempt out, at a more reasonable time, and this time began heading out and up the overpass to 29th.   This puts my Publix stop later in the loop, and it was a slog by the time I got close.  The miracle happened on the way back, as I hit the trailer park and found my rhythm at last, with the hitch in my hip quieting and all the tunes in my phone feeling like motivational voices keeping a beat and a lyric running through my feet.

The run begins like any day does, as we crawl out of our beds and begin the inner chatter that reflects our anxieties or hopes for the day.   The warm-up walk has always been my means of 'checking' what's going on inside, to link mind with body and to hope the sync is such that some grounding is achieved with the external world.   When everything goes well, I am high from the effort and feeling of harmony between so many parts acting in accord with one another.  The transformation of the day is begun.

Running With Power, not Against It

I was excited to get back out there today after yesterday's great run.   What made it so great?  Who knows how the gods choose to stack up their many elements at play, and why, once in a while, I catch that transcendent vibe that feels more like a ride than a slog...

I've been 'pushing' into the potential of change, once again, and coming into conflict with the players who are either somewhere else physically or mentally.   Since change has been my MO for some time in my early years, I am still prone to think of ' change for change sake' and feel the rush of anticipation just envisioning anything possible in my future.  It's a big lesson for me to throttle it down and take my time.   My decision to stay with Florida as my home and residence post-parents is one area this has manifest.   And coping with the illusion of control in relationship is another.

I began today at a reasonable time, in the crystalline early morning that came on the heels of the last tropical system.  My mental stress was still noticeable;  when I can see all the possible positive outcomes, where is the rest of the world in conforming to MY vision??  It was somewhere mid-run, on that lovely long stretch that connects Stirling to Griffin I finally 'saw' the error of my ways.   Relaxing into the open stride, soaking up the rich layers of Nature all around, I finally released the crazy expectation that someone, anyone, should conform to my way.  Imagining the other person's pain or problems is a good way to ensure that YOU are not the center of their concerns.  We have precious little input on each other in our inner world,  BUT- that said, we exert a great deal of influence, for good or bad- just in our pattern of response.

I felt like I finally allowed the run to run itself, having been on this loop so long, I feel I could do it blind-folded.  I let go of "good run/bad run" and once again reveled in the power of my own body to make this herculean effort, on a hot summer morning,  in the middle of a long week, despite any reservations or expectation.   When we harness our inner Power, we become the channel in our activities to a place of Flow and Know.   Resistance creates the discord which tells us we have drifted off base.  Get back to your Inner Rhythm and feel your stride pick up the energy propelling you on.

Sunday Long Hot Run 7-16-11

The Techno gods conspired to jam up my tunes before I could head out the door Sunday,  a delay which took up precious early time in moderate temps.  Once I figured a work-around, I was out in full sun, not good for a date with a long run.

Nevertheless, I felt pretty good, making my warm up loop before heading west out Park to take stock of my 'hot spots' and get into a rhythm.  I passed up my first pit stop for John Williams park (above), a lovely little oasis on what used to be my stop before tackling the Seminoles, before they closed up the rez.  JW has bathrooms and a water fountain, with plenty of big trees which allows for a nice cool down before I headed back out to catch my Griffin loop. 

Knowing the kind of times my peeps Marlon etc post, I would be embarrassed to say how long it took to run my 10-12 miles.  I walked substantial stretches up 40th and after my Publix stop.   The build-up of heat and humidity is a formidable force, and I could not push myself any more.    I floated in a trance of fatigue just getting home, creating breakfast in my head and imagining the sweet relief of A/C and shower.   The 'mental' part of the run is more difficult than the physical when the body feels overcome by the elements.  Facing and accepting 'what is', becomes the most challenging part;  once out, there is little one can change except how long the whole ordeal lasts....

Many runs are an adventure, and some are pure joy.   Sometimes, though, runs are the gauntlet between tough places, with no reward except the satisfaction that the commitment is done.   But even the toughest runs have their sweet spot, like the Face of Nature at the park, the soft silence of those big lofty trees throwing their kind shade upon me.   Every day is a chance to discover how Life will shape itself around us, even while we project our own challenges and desires upon Life.   Choose your Vision and take the elements in your stride;  like colors chosen in artwork, they will blend into an integrated Whole by the experience of your heart.

Sunday Long Run Art

When it is this hot outside, running becomes an experience of melding into the atmosphere.   The first mile or so, the shock is not so great;  anything early enough is permeated with the freshness of morning.  After the body warms with the sun, however, it suddenly feels as if body and air have blended into a more penetrating experience.  Heat, sweat, sun, the full-on measure of distances within the constant foot-falls, and the expectation of water, relief!  A/C, regrouping...toughing out the run because that is the deal I make with myself.

I don't post enough artwork;  I don't make enough either.   It is a casualty of every art therapist out there that Therapist often comes before Artist....And after a long week of many clients, I have to say it felt WONDERFUL to make even this little piece.  Enjoy,

The Gift of Freedom

Running either ahead or behind myself;  the runs I did this weekend were lazy, basic, get 'er done miles including today, heading out on my usual loop.  The timeline in my head revealed itself to me as I wound down the walk home, and chatter cleared like sun breaking through early morning clouds,  providing the first glimpse of 'in the moment' Reality. 

I recognize I have a bad habit of harboring so much desire and focus on 'what can be' and "what was' that I absolutely resist and forget to appreciate what's going on RIGHT NOW.  All weekend, I was in 'recupe' mode;  the result of a long stretch of work which tires me mentally and spiritually, and allowing myself the time needed to get 'stuff' done as well as give my body/mind the rest it craves.  There is no end to chores, projects, and 'projections'...the attempt to define and mostly likely control the outcome of the future by 'pushing' myself into it, with my ideas and dreams of What Can Be.

The Run has its own momentum even in tired days like now at the height of summer and hot conditions.  From dead sleep to out on the roads, I am always amazed at what my body will muster and how naturally I assume the position of 'runner', eating up, albeit slowly, the miles of my loop.  So, too does the run of our lives....we pick up a momentum when focusing on goals, we benchmark our progress, we mark calendars.    Without goals or dreams to fulfill, we are gliding along asleep, willing to allow ourselves to be taken over by the conditions of the day, or times.   I have been running after goals forever;  especially since '93 and the year I returned to school and 'the world' to resume my own independent path.  I have never had a year when I was not in hot pursuit of the next credential,  requirement, class or notch on my professional belt to secure my place in the Marketplace.  And with it has come strength, confidence, skills and the unfolding of hidden talents.  The Artist in me loves the creation of this work-in-progress, and recognizes the hand of something Profound providing the many elements in my Grand Design.   But even so, there is a restlessness and need to keep pushing the limits of my creation even as I know Something Else has the Whole Picture in Mind.

Today's run gave me the gift of seeing myself in the Moment.   Because I am part of the dimensions of place and distance I can not hurry myself home, no matter how worn out I might feel.   The discipline of this experience is the Freedom in acceptance of these dimensions which can otherwise feel limiting, and invite all my impatience to the fore.   I am grateful, therefore, to be reminded, as always, to Remember the road without is truly a Road Within.  

We hold the freedom to see or believe anything.   As we come off the Independence Day holiday, give yourself the gift of your own Right Mind, your independent thinking, to lead you on your destined Path to uncover your truth in Existence.  The elements are all there.  Pick up your feet and GO.

Hot Summer Runs: Get Used to It

Despite my early depart time out the door and overcast skies, the temps and humidity this morning was a presence like an overheated sauna.  With June soon done, this is likely the mode of running this summer, not unlike any summer here- pounding out a lot of miles under intense conditions.

How do we adapt to things we cannot change?  Runners are notorious for handling just about anything Mother Nature throws at us;  from the uber-long-distance folk who brave deserts, mountains, artic snowfields and conditions us lower-level runners would curl back up in bed over, to the throw of the dice on any race day anywhere in the world which brings the question of weather.  Just think 'Chicago' as a favorite example;  how many times have they been caught out, in my dear Windy City, with so much heat the races are called off? 

It may seem contra-intuitive to those who run on gym treadmills or couldn't even imagine being out there to walk on a day like this, so here's the crazy thing:  at least for a while the heat/humidity feels good- like a sauna does.  Unfortunately the only way to 'exit' it is to enter someplace with A/C- which I do.   My pit-stops are orchestrated like a well-oiled military campaign.  I know every Publix and bathroom friendly gas station in a 20 mile radius.  So, 'sauna' good for a while, then miles 6, 7 and on- forget it.  The romance is gone, the heat is brutal and all I think about the last few miles is HOME, A/C, HYDRATE.

We need to pay attention to how far to push it in Life;  when to muster our forces to reach a benchmark, a goal, and when to regroup and regenerate our energy reserves by lowering expectations or resting altogether.  The same decisions are made even on the run itself.  It shows how even in the midst of our 'journey' we have the choice to throttle up or down to regulate our pace.  There is more up to us than we take into account, thinking about the pressures of the external world.  Feel your Internal Regulator reminding you to choose how you make your way into your future;  so much is up to YOU.

Ultimately I believe we love to challenge ourselves.  We're hard-wired to keep advancing our causes among the many layers of life.  We want to stop feeling depressed, get in shape, improve our relationships, find new jobs, places to live, get more spiritual etc etc.  If we do not have enough challenge in life, it seems as if 'Something' puts it in our path as if to say 'not so fast....' and the new reality of change begins.

Summer Solstice Run 2011

After dreaming, again, about Obama, and my family, including a cameo by Mom who was not the one dead in this plot (someone else was...) I dragged my butt into my running gear and headed out into the humid early morning.  If you have not spent time in South Florida, you are unfamiliar with humidity here which feels like the air is a different element, and running in it like swimming, the feeling of moisture is so intense!  I kept my expectation low.  The walk/run up to my first pit stop felt surreal.  The crystalline quality of light, full on by then, seemed to refract through the moisture giving everything a hyper-realism, colors bright, and the impact of awakening buffered by an impression that I was still, somehow, in a dream.

The Longest Day comes upon us to open the way for the longer descent into the underworld, and the great build-up of manifest energy about to take flight into the unknown.   For one day, the perfect balance of light/dark, day/night is exquisitely present in a promise of abundance.  No matter where we think we are, we are held on the scales of poetic justice;  our dreams coalesced into the realities they are to become.

As I rounded out the loop and headed home, the heat of the day blasted me full on, and I walked a good bit of the last mile plus.   I felt my body struggle and try to shake off the shades of the night, even as my mind was still partly caught up in the dialogue with the dreams.  Our bodies are gifts to link us to this Earth, to feel what She feels as she lights up her days and rests in her nights.   The Solstice is Her reminder of All things in proper proportion, even as the moment slips over into the steady procession of the seasons.  Celebrate your body today, and give it the Nourishment it asks of you;  not just the food on your table, but the sustenance of your highest hopes.