Rain Run

My timing was terrible if running in the rain is not your thing; up on schedule and out the door just as the skies were opening into a steady downpour. I wore what I thought was enough gear to stay somewhat dry which was a joke after a few minutes...but was smart enough to wear shoes sturdy enough to take pounding through puddles. I'm not adverse to strange weather conditions; for me running on a treadmill indoors like a lab rat is the workout of last resort.
I took the overpass, and made a very modest loop around Taft. The rain became a torrent and pretty soon I gave up any semblance of distance or true effort. Instead I began to remember the weather of my childhood in Pittsburgh, which at the time was a city of real extremes. I have distinct memories of tornadoes, huge snow storms and big rain, and my daily walks to school...As my feet became thoroughly soaked I began to stop avoiding puddles and went right for them...noisily running through with a child's abandon. Slogging through so much water, in water-logged shoes was tiring! So having a short run in this case packed its punch. And of course just as I cruised close to home, the rain began to taper. :-)

I dropped my gear and noticed the early morning sun breaking through the cloud cover. So I made my way to the opposite side of the building where, sure enough, a rainbow began to form. I did my stretching while watching this one and it's fainter twin develop over the arc of the sky; the colors becoming more distinct, the sheer thrilling beauty of it eclipsing the traffic, noises and human hustle-bustle below.

Somehow, Life is trying to remind me not to take anything for granted anymore. With every little step comes unexpected challenges and surprises. What we decide to make of all this is entirely up to us, as we begin to translate this language of essence and experience for ourselves. No one knows our secret inner world. Best yet, the only keeper of the keys is the Courage of our Hearts to see it clearly. I thank the gods of rain for the gift they gave me today!!

Working (it) Out

Now that my schedule is getting more locked in, I developed a strategy of winding down the weekend early enough to get a good long night's sleep before Monday AM. Sleep for me is more than restorative. As a life long 'dreamer' who has always had vivid, sometimes profound and always instructive dreams, my sleep life is where I seem to go to work out the issues of the day on deeper levels. As Vitae always taught me, the 'Dream masters' are there as unseen guides. Whether I remember the dreams or not, rarely do I wake up without some sense of 'something' necessary happening.

Today I woke plenty early enough to be out for a moderate loop and found myself in that strange zone between sleep and not-quite-awake, on my feet as I cruised up Park to take the cut up by St. Maurice. My Sunday long run was just brutal enough to make today more sluggish. But overall, I had the strength if not the 'umph' and made my way to my pit-stop at the Griffin Publix, no problem.

As I cut down 35th and the lovely winding stretch back to Stirling, I found myself hovering still in a dreamlike state where working out the nuances of plans, feelings and issues rolls along unencumbered. The mechanism of being in motion is the key to unlocking this process; I've said before that many people are not 'sitters' when it comes to meditation. And it's my theory that many runners are able to become most mindful when they can catapult themselves forward and therefore dissociate from their bodies. How does this work? I am aware of the run; I know what hurts, if I'm laboring either in breath or stride. The magic happens when the mysterious alchemy of elements syncs up into the kind of gait that releases me from any realization of being earth-bound; as if my spirit cuts free within my mind as it expands beyond the road, the shoes that bind my feet, the very curve of the earth Herself, the sky....

At those moments, I am in the dream, and the Masters can have at me in all their benevolent effort to open the doors that become stuck and sealed through the frustrations, pain and suffering which comes at me. Every step along the way is a percussive resounding of the current I aim to cut through into truth. If so many teachers are there to assist me, how can I say I am not enough to assist others? What can't I do if I put my mind and its assets to it? Miami...marathon...6 months...shall I??

Heat

A modest few loops at the park, with plenty of walking was nothing to brag about, unless you count just getting out the door. It's time to decide about Miami in Jan. '11. It was 2008 and my first full marathon last time I was there. Miami marathon is one of the BEST ever, since January here in So Flo is a dream compared to the rest of the country, and the course itself winds through every best bit of the area, including Miami beach, Coconut Grove etc etc. Running bud Cheryl checked in with the suggestion to run the half. Doable...?? Either one?? With all the 'maintenance' lately and not much in the way of real training, is it realistic to begin the shift into a consistent plan?? Do I have the umph, the time, the motivation??

The heat is on. Pressure builds keeping all of us focused on more survival than usual, with weather, financial and global changes bouncing around like jugglers balls we can hardly keep in the air. The benefit of marathon training is the whole-hearted attention it takes which acts as a natural deflection of concerns about too much of anything else! Trouble is, have I found myself in a chapter of my life when such focus is not good timing now?

I am trying to fall back in love with many things, including running. Pressure does not help my cause...yet, the goal and its accomplishment is a sure way to up the ante and interest. Goals are good things if they act as catalysts to fling you further into your future. I might try some, now that the BIG ones are in the bag...

Big Weather on its Way

Today's Griffin loop had that odd feel of Big Weather coming in...the winds pushing extra humid air ahead of a mass of energy that you know goes way beyond local scope...the skies filling with that fast mass of clouds beginning their swirl along the upper streams steering things forward, and apparently westward. Not good for the Gulf, for us, perhaps a first dry run of the hurricane season. We are hardened pros now, we know what needs doing...and as part of the Broward County team, I am 'officially' on call and at their disposal always...

Meanwhile we all attempt to cope with what comes our way. These Big Forces are pushing their way upon us and we need to have the muster to hold on to our ground, our faith and hard-working ethic to see us through. It feels like it will never quite be 'easy' again. Even the run, which gives up trance-like stretches of bliss every once in a while, exacts its price: there is always a deep effort to maintain faith that I complete today, and the next, and the next one to come.

Yoga Day

After a stretch of running days it felt prudent to honor the hard work by giving myself a yoga day today. I follow the Rodney Yee "yoga for the core" which helps tremendously with the major muscles which support strong and comfortable form for running. I always know when I haven't done it often enough; the run will begin to feel pushed. This yoga routine is a fantastic counter-balance to the hard work-outs, especially in the heat of this summer. And it reminds me that what I am dealing with is my body's 'chi' and energy shifts, channeling between the ground of Mother Earth and Her core and the axis of galactic balance, as it passes through my body.

In motion, I've also gone back to "chi running" principles. Like all practices, I find myself going back to basic principles over and over again, reminding myself of the basic inner workings and focusing my mind to 'sync' with my body. If I don't I easily fall prey to any typical athlete's tendency to push on without senses tuned to the body's nuances, or body as machine. Much as I would like my body to 'obey' my wishes, there will only be continued progress if 'we' all work together!!

I am reminded of this in all areas of my life. How my clients and I are a team, my agency/practice and I, family, friends and the Great Circle of Helpers who stand seen and unseen on the planetary stage...all contribute to the forward movement. I am always in awe of the cohesive and gestalt nature of this interplay, that no matter how separate we think we are, Forces so much greater than us have us in the cradle of their consideration while the strands of chaos and fate intertwined to make our future.
Move on out with courage and a brave heart, dear friends. There is no where to go but UP!

New Week

Saucony Hurricanes were half-off... who can resist a bargain like that? Never ran in this brand, but they felt pretty good at the store. Today, I took them out for an easy 4ish miles with plenty of walking (and dodging the sudden rain shower!)... and they felt pretty good...cushiony, but hopefully not TOO much stuff between me and the road.

Inner Distance

"Part of the challenge of the marathon is pushing past what you think is physically possible. You can do more than you think you can."

-Christine Hinton, a Maryland running coach

Yesterday as I watched my clients cope with the pressures of therapy, as I prod and push them past their own limits, a part of my mind kept wandering back to points in my own growth when I never thought I could....(fill in the blank)...go back to school/have a career/be financially stable/run/run a 10k,half marathon, marathon/retain a secure job for a long time/influence a ton of people for the better...etc etc etc....

Our belief systems stack up like bricks in the walls of our minds. They define the course, the challenges, the obstacles to overcome. One of my clients suffers from severe panic disorder and decided one day to challenge his beliefs by writing a 'letter to myself' and since then another, empowered part of him has become the driver in the journey of his healing process.

"You can do more than you think you can" is a mantra I live by. You can love more, accept more, resist more (the propogandists and repressive forces), empower yourself more to dive into the dream that hovers at the edge of your attention. If dreams are the echoes from our future selves, encouraging us on, then what do we have to lose by following them? Only the fear of yesterday.

This morning I set out for the Griffin loop thinking long and hard about the "Grandmothers of Endurance" someone posted on FB about 2 gals in their 60's/70's running ultra's...I mean 100 milers! The video had their interviews as well as footage of their beautiful matched cadences on a training trail run. It was a thing of beauty to see these old gals skimming the ground like sailboats on the water, as breathtaking to see as any star elite athlete...and for me, more inspiring!

One day, I will push past the limits of yesterday to the possibilities of today. I will remember how many dreams I thought were out of reach only to be the foundations of new ones. I sense the future world hovering like a beautiful veil on the edge of our daily routine; take the time to part it and see for yourself, who and what is waiting for you there.